Guest List from Someone Preparing for the End of the World
Bring it on, Mayans! I am ready for the end of the world!
Wait. Should I get my sweater dry cleaned before the apocalypse?
December 21, 2012 is coming up fast! I figured I'd better get on the ball and start preparing for that end of the world thing. I mean, what if the world ends but somehow I manage to survive? I don't want to be caught unprepared!
1. Get zombie-proof helmet in case there are roaming bands of the undead that want to eat my brain.
2. Stock up on granola bars. Wait. Granola bars can be kind of expensive. Do I deserve granola bars? Even at the apocalypse? Maybe I can find them at the dollar store.
3. Find a place to store my urine in case I need it for drinking water. Wait, that's gross. Change to: find place to store water stolen from neighbor's hose.
4. Find a place to safely store yard dirt, which is sure to be the new currency once civilization starts up again.
5. Start digging bomb shelter. I probably should have started this earlier. And, I might need a shovel.
6. Buy a shovel.
7. Prepare my cat army to defend bomb shelter. Wait. Do four cats make up a "cat army?"
8. Get more cats.
9. Buy new calendar. Just because I'll be stuck underground for a while doesn't mean I don't want to know what the date is!
10.Refill antidepressant prescription (the end of the world might have me a tad down).
11.Stock up on scotch tape. (There will probably be a shortage of this after the end of civilization.)
12.Clean rain gutters.