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HEAVEN KNOWS - A Short Story (Heavenly Hair Styles)

Updated on February 1, 2014
Perfect bodies...perfect hair?
Perfect bodies...perfect hair? | Source

Speculating on hairstayles in Heaven....

In the 1950s we had people arriving in Heaven who were talking about "generation gaps," and we had noticed the phenomenon growing in Heaven itself as we moved into the 1960s.

The problem didn't center around philosophy, cultural achievements, or anything that our long-range perspective could deal with calmly.

It centered around hair.

Hair constituted an immediate problem, a first-thing-every-morning problem.

We had had this problem before with powdered wigs and natural styles (including a little "revolutionary" American use of bear grease, not only for their boots, but also to waterproof their roots!)

When the crew cuts joined us at and after Earth's World War II tragedy, it caused no real stir, except that it became a typically trendy thing and we went through our own crew cut phase.

The difference with the 1950's hairstyle and the 1960's hairstyle was not that we hadn't seen them both before, but rather that we had only seen them separately. When the 1950's and 1960's people came, many of them knew each other and respected each other's views to the point where they decided to compromise and use the "best" of both styles.

The result? We had had long, stringy hair before and not even the people who had it liked it. The compromisers created the instant phenomenon of long, greasy hair! The slicked-back hair, and the long, free hair, became the long, slicked hair.

I wonder why the style hasn't caught on on Earth yet?!

Perhaps folks there just aren't as concerned about meaningful compromises that put the best elements of such things together. After all, can you imagine slicked-back, long hair? Or greasy, free hair?

Every so often, while we know that each of God's children is unique, we get an especially unique person, for example a salesman came to Heaven and being that especially unique person, he was given the somewhat unique chance to visit some of his friends and customers in Hell.

I suspect he was a Methodist on Earth because he hadn't been in Hell more than thirty minutes before Satan called Heaven to ask that we take the salesman back immediately.

That came as a complete surprise because Satan usually tries to entice his visitors to stay, while making all kinds of outlandish promises he knows he won't keep.. But it seems this fellow hadn't been there that half an hour before he had organized a church social to start a special building fund for an air conditioning system! (It was probably the easiest sale of his existence!)

Hair and Air, just some of the things we deal with here.

(c) 2011 Demas W. Jasper All rights reserved.

Note: This is one of five or more "Heaven Knows" short stories you can enjoy here on HubPages.


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    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 3 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Becky Katz


      April Reynolds


      Sometime back I eliminated (hid) some low-score Hubs wonderung what difference doing so might make. In coming back to activate some I noticed this one you folks had commented on (along with an ex-Hubber.) I noticed that I had not yet responded to your comments to say how much I appreciated that you found this one "hit the nail on the head" and was funny to boot. A belated thanks to you for commenting.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James-MizBejabbers 6 years ago

      Definitely funny. I'm sure the Methodists appreciate it.

    • April Reynolds profile image

      April Reynolds 6 years ago from Arizona

      This is funny Mr. P! Happy New Year!

    • WebscapeOutdoors profile image

      WebscapeOutdoors 6 years ago from Michigan, USA

      LOL...I used to be a Methodist and you hit the nail on the head.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 6 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      This was definitely funny. I can see the arguments with the salesman in hell.

    • profile image

      marellen 6 years ago

      Cute and interesting story.....