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H.O.W. To Break Free Of That 'Elastic Band'!!

Updated on February 20, 2013
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You may be thinking "What a strange title!!"

Strange maybe, but I am sure many of you will recognise what I describe as a ' Psychological elastic band.'

This week my hubs have come straight from my heart and today's is no exception.

Yesterday's hub was about Mother Nature's charms and how she shaped my journey through life.

Today's is going back to the time of my escape from the cocoon that was my safe haven for the first fopur decades of my life!!

However not just about that very first step; because what is almost more important as I see it is to find that strength to stay away . The life which I knew for years was not right but had become comfortable in an odd way and at times would be so easy to allow that elsatic band to catapult me back into it all again.

Maybe one phrase that could be used is "Better the devil you know that the devil you don't !!"

I can remember myself as yesterday's Chameleon.I called myself a Chameleon because back then I would simply changed character to merge with whichever setting I happened to be in at that time in my life!!

Now and then the true ME would raise her head slightly before diving back into what had become my comfort zone.

To make that very first step away from this Chameleon was a great personal achievement and this began the stretching of that psychological elastic band which was tethered back to my Chameleon self.

However probably the hardest and most psychologically tugging time was to stay away no matter what!!! No matter how hard no matter how wearily tempted I would be to return it could never happen and I would allow it to do so !!!!

One day from deep in my being I knew that this was the time to leave this life,find my true self and to live my life as 'ME'.



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Let me share my journey with you in steps.

Step 1.

The initial pull of the elastic band was when I acknowledged my worth and I somehow knew that it was time to take those first initial steps.

I left my cocoon of 26 years and walked away from my abusive husband.

Step 2.

Is when I did delve a little deeper; anticipation mounted and realisation seeped through.

I had left and now there was so much that I wanted and needed to do with my life.That band stretched a little further and at times felt decidedly uncomfortable.

This was when it took strength to stay away and not return.I was determined not to allow that psychological band to send me catapulting back to what was so wrong but at the same time had been my life for so long.

I instinctively knew it would take time before I felt comfortable with the new ME.

Step 3.

I now ventured even further and felt that tugging band pulling for all it was worth but it was no competition for my new and determined strength. So many psychological issues some painful tried to stop my journey and that pull of that elastic band at times hurt badly but again my true being kept me going on and on and on!! I knew my true self would win in the end ;this I felt from my heart and soul.

Step 4.

By now I was I tune with my inner being as never before ;the person who I always knew was hidden inside of me was now in the forefront !!

Oh yes I had travelled my journey sometimes painfully but I never retraced my steps ;maybe at times I stayed in the same place for a while but my ongoing strength kept me going until I had stretched that band further than it could go and it simply gave in and snapped !!!

Step 5.

I was now free to live my life as ME; I had succeeded and had searched my heart and soul in order to achieve this. The path at times was very painful and rocky but with true grit and determination it is possible to remain walking along this path, growing stronger with each step!! I did at the very end emerge a happier, stronger person and the world seemed to be a happier and brighter place!! I also found that I could cope with life’s ups and downs in a more positive manner!!

Freud and many other psychiatrists have all learnt from the poet's insight into the unconscious and its inner workings. Certain words and rhythms arise naturally when we speak from the heart and this courage is often all that is needed to get the writing going.

One of my favourite quotes is by Waldo Ralph Emmerson."Believe that you can and you are halfway there."

If you are finding your journey weary sit down and admit that you are ;there is no shame in this and it takes a brave heart to admit something that some think of as a weakness .

Talk your thoughts through with someone or write them down if you find this therapeutic ; after a little rest I am sure you will once again begin on that wondrous and so well worth journey to your true self.

This comes from one who knows and my heart and strength I share with you all no matter on which part of life's journey you are travelling.

Fill your being with positive thoughts ;feel that great pride that is so rightly yours as you walk into your own paradise of truth and beauty.




Source

To remember is not a step

To throw you back in time.

To cry for gone by days

Is a blessing not a crime.

x

To spend my days writing

Is what I'll always do.

Each word comes from my heart

I share my life with you.

x

To live each life fully

Is our right to claim.

To look back with sweet triumph

Has always been my aim.

x

Reflect with great wisdom

At each and everyday.

Life is not a destination

But a journey all the way.

x

I hope my words will help

And yourselves you will find.

Your life a foundation

Of the legacy you'll leave behind.




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    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 4 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Brava! Up, Useful, Interesting, Beautiful, and shared with followers and on social networking sites.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      You said a mouthful here and I know you truly are a brave, wonderful woman. Thanks for sharing a bit more of your journey here today and hope today and everyday is blessed for you now!! Have of course voted up and shared all over, too!!

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much B.Leekey your comment is so greatly appreciated. Here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here.

      Eddy.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      As always Janine it is a pleasure to see that you have stopped by and left such a supportive comment as always.

      Thank you so very much for your friendship and here's to so much more for us both to share for a long time to come.

      Lots of love

      Eddy.

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 4 years ago from Georgia

      I can see that this must have been very cathartic for you to write this. It can serve as such an inspiration to others who may be struggling to snap that band and break free of whatever is limiting their abilities to be whole and true to themselves. Your poem was a beautiful summation of the steps you took to break free and live the person you are.

      Well done!! Voted up. There's not button for inspiring but it is an inspiring piece.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Hi Cyndi thank you so much for taking the time to read ad comment.

      I have shared my story many a time but realised that I hadn't stressed that sometimes it's the staying away from that negative situation that can be so hard. However I am so glad I managed to win my day and nothing can now give me greater joy than to share and insprire others too.

      Thanks again Cyndi and enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 4 years ago from Morocco

      Very awesome,candid and inspiring.Thanks my dear chwaer for sharing your psychological journey and beautiful poem as well.I like the term : Psychological elastic band'.It fits so well what you ve been through and what you want to accomplish .

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Eddy, what an awesome message to send out to the world. I am so glad you snapped that rubber band! You are a beautiful soul who is now free to share your light with the world. God bless you always!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      Wouldn't it be nice if we could all "snap our rubber band"? I am at a point in life where I believe I have done just that! I am free of bad emotional ties and live a life of peace.

      Voted UP and shared.

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      That is beautiful. I glad that you stretched the rubber band until it snapped, and that you got out of that bad situation. It's amazing how comfortable we can get with certain things in our life, when if we just get out of the comfort zone, our lives will ultimately be more authentic.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much James; your comment so greatly appreciated as always. Have a great day.

      Eddy.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      So nice to hear from you as always Shauna and your words are so greatly appreciated to.. Enjoy your day and here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here.

      Eddy.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you mary for taking the time to read and comment. So glad that you are also enjoying life. Have a great day .

      Eddy.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      You are so correct Kathryn and your words so appreciated. here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here,

      Have a great day.

      Eddy.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Eddy,

      This is one of the strongest pieces you have ever written. I am so very proud of you, girlfriend...you are amazing, strong and beautiful, inside and out!

      Voted UP and UABI. Love, Maria

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      To stay away and not return....you just spoke of the eternal struggle of addicts. I especially loved the message here, and could definitely relate to the struggles that you survived. Another winner here my dear. Thank you for once again sharing a part of yourself so that we all can learn.

      love,

      billy

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very mcuh indeed Maria;your words mean so very much indeed.

      Here's to so many more for us both to share on here.

      Have a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      As always Billy so nice to see you've stopped by and you are so very welcome. There is a story to tell and if it is to help others then it has to be told in full.

      Havea great day my dear friend.

      Eddy.

    • Emanate Presence profile image

      Gary R. Smith 4 years ago from the Head to the Heart

      Eddy,

      Again I feel connection with you through your heart-full writing. In general I have difficulty 'staying with' the writing of others. Don't know why, as I plowed through books voraciously in my youth.

      In this case, I really absorbed your hub. It was like smelling the fragrance of a spring flower. It also seems we have some parallels in our journeys, as I was in a marriage that did not fully fit for 25 years. There was not abuse as you experienced, and she was a good companion in many ways, but like you I had to break out of a long relationship to be true to myself. Not wanting to always turn it back to me, still have to admit these connecting points are remarkable.

      All in all this hub was a joy to read and it is voted so.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      You said it all so well. My mother was not brave enough to do what you continue to do. She left for a short while, always saying that once I graduated high school, she would leave my father. Then she got herself into an abusive situation as a housekeeper. Sadly, she felt that my father, to who she was married, was the lesser of two evils. She could never make the break, and she has been gone for decades...I'm glad that you did it, Eddy, so many can and do. Inner strength is remarkable.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 4 years ago

      What a beautiful way to encourage others to do something to better their lives and leave the dreadful past behind.We choose our life and if we make the wrong choice we have to choose again.Thinking how can we do this and then making this happen.Bring about a change that helps our life and leads us to a promising future.I love your words so much.Have a day that will make your loves stronger and your weaknesses disappear faster than I can lift my arms high in the air.

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 4 years ago from Guildford

      You are sensational at putting into words things that we need to hear. What a great message and so brilliantly said.

    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

      Wow...I applaud you for getting up every time you bruised yourself.

      Hugs!!!

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 4 years ago from United States

      A very well done work by you my friend. Thank you for sharing this fine article and it is well received by all who read. whonu

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      When you share a part of your life with us, it allows us to remember and move forward along with you. You are my inspiration Eddy. Thank you...Hugs...

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Congratulations on breaking the elastic band, Eddy! I admire your courage and determination. Thanks for sharing your story and advice, as well as the lovely poem.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Inspirational and accept my congratulations. Success stories, like yours are so important. Thank you

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. Let us be all that we can be Eddy. Thanks for sharing your incredible and inspirational journey. Hugs and passing this on.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much Emanate Presence for this comment which is so greatly appreciated.

      I look forward to sharing and reading many more hubs with you.

      Enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much to

      DEB

      LESLIE

      ACAETNNA

      RUCHIRA

      WHONU

      RUBY

      ALICIA

      MARTIN

      RASMA

      for each and every sincere and wonderful comment.All of which are so greatly appreciated. Here's to so many more hubs for us all to share on here.

      Eddy.

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      You truly are an inspiration to us all Eddy - thank you for sharing your experiences in life with us.

      You are one very special lady x

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you for taking the time to read this one also and your comment is so kind and caring .

      Have a wonderful day Lelsey .

      Eddy.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 4 years ago from Dubai

      Truly inspiring words, awesome poem . Oh yes -"Life is not a destination, But a journey all the way".

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Eddy, so glad you did it and are much the happier for it. Better late than never and this is a very inspirational hub and poem. Hoping that a lot many others in like situations would pull the elastic band till it snaps and sets them free.

      voted up, useful and shared.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much rajan Vellur for your wonderful comments.

      Each greatly appreciated.

      Have a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Eddy, beautiful and inspirational writing. I love the analogy of the elastic band, when life gets too difficult we can at times feel that it would be so much easier to go back to what we know, our comfort zones. But as you so rightly said, life is not a destination, it is a journey; a journey which will test us and teach us, a journey of self discovery and the chance to make ourselves into the people we want to be. I'm so glad you've found that incredible person we all know you to be, I wish you a long and adventurous journey.

      My best Jo.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much Jo your words really are so very touching and mean the world;more than i can say actually .I wish you a wonderful day and here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here.

      Have a wonderful day.

      Lots of love .

      Eddy

    • torrilynn profile image

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      eiddwen, i love how creative and accurate your hub is on comparing an elastic band to the way that we live our lives. thanks. voted up.

    • Bumpsysmum profile image

      Bumpsysmum 4 years ago from Cambridgeshire

      This was like reading my own life story. Written honestly and in wonderful detail with feelings so well defined, and a lovely poem to finish. I'm glad you found yourself when you did, our gain! Great Hub Eddy

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much torrilynn ;I am so glad you enjoyed this one and here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here. Enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      I am so glad you liked this one Bumpsysmum andyour comment is so very greatly appreciated. It is my pleasure to share and to also read your hubs.

      Have a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Hi Eddy,

      You have every right to be proud of yourself and serve as an example...that while hard...escaping from abusive situations can be done! Thanks for sharing that part of your life's journey with us. Up and useful votes. Am happy for you! :))

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      You are simply incredible, Eddy! The more i learn the more impressed i become!

      You broke free of something that many just...never do, or - die trying..

      Your thought process during this 'escape' and finally relieving the 'pressure' of the rubber band effect - is the same 'withdrawal' that hardcore addicts feel - and just as hard to break free of!

      bravo, my friend - i am proud to know a woman of your strength and gentleness!

      up and hub-sharingxx

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Eddy,

      The Emerson quote really says it all..and clearly you have done just that.

      Just looking here at your body of work shows how wise you were when you made the decision to take a new direction with your life.

      Thanks for sharing..

      Sending you many Angels today :) ps

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      This was awesome! Life provides those opportunities for growth and strength of character. voting up!

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

      This is such an inspirational hub, and you are one very courageous soul! So many people never find the strength and determination to leave an abusive relationship, even when their lives may be in danger. I applaud you for your courage in taking that first step, acknowledging your self-worth and in continuing on a new, positive direction until that psychological band snapped.

      Voted Up++++ and shared

      Jaye

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so much to

      PEGGY

      LESLIE

      PS

      LOVEDOCTOR

      JAYEWISDOM

      for each and every comment.

      All of which have been read and re read.

      Have a wonderful weekend to each and all.

      Eddy.

    • profile image

      Derdriu 4 years ago

      Eddy, We're lucky that your legacy of the "great wisdom" and "sweet triumph" which is the hallmark of your writing is being shared here and now!

      Shared.

      Respectfully, and with best 2013 wishes to you and Dai and your families and friends, Derdriu

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      It is always so nice to see you've stopped by Derdriu and thank you so much for your wonderful comment. Each one is so greatly appreciated and enjoy your weekend.

      Lots of love to you and yours from my little corner of Wales.

      Eddy.

    • profile image

      Vickiw 4 years ago

      I loved the way you described this, using the thought of an elastic band, the way it stretches, contracts, stretches again, until finally it is so worn that it breaks. Then we have to either get another one, or find another way of doing things. Super Hub. Life experience has no substitute when it comes to writing meaningful Hubs!

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much Vickiw for taking the time to read and comment.

      I look forward to following you on here.

      Eddy.

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 4 years ago from malang-indonesia

      Very inspiring hub, Eddy. I learn so much from you. So, thank you for sharing the experience, as you brought it as close as I can ever get to it! Voted up!

      Prasetio

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 4 years ago from Iowa

      Congratulations on finding the strength you needed to break that elastic band. What a great analogy and message. Well done.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      You are so welcome prasetio and here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here.

      Have a wonderful day .

      Eddy.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so much Deborah your words mean so very much. Have a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Eddy, you are truly a fine example of breaking free and moving on! Thanks for sharing!!

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much Michelle and have a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • That Grrl profile image

      Laura Brown 4 years ago from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

      An awesome post. I voted it up too.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much Grrl;your comment means so very much indeed.

      Have a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • Pinkchic18 profile image

      Sarah Carlsley 4 years ago from Minnesota

      Great hub, it is so refreshing!

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Thank you so very much Pinkchic18 and I now look forward to reading many more of yours too.

      Enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 3 years ago

      Your last picture sums up your inspiring hub perfectly. Make a difference in the lives that follow.Each part of your hub is so special and meaningful in many ways .Thanx so much.I travel back here time and time again to find myself when I am lost or misguided.I just wanted you to know another secret that I hold that now I can let go.

    • Eiddwen profile image
      Author

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      Oh DREAM ON thank you so very much for this wonderful comment. It means more than I can say and I send you a whole load of kisses and hugs all the way from Wales.

      Have a wonderful day and I thank God for the day I decided to join everyone here on HubPages. One of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.

      Have a wonderful day my dear friend.

      Eddy.

      .

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