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Had She Done Something Wrong?

Updated on April 7, 2017

Had She Done Something Wrong?



What could have caused such a reaction? Had she done something wrong?

For the past half hour reading the suicide note, she found nothing to indicate why her son wanted to take his life. After the brief telephone call, she realized that it felt like the longest conversation she had ever had.

She was the first in the emergency room and she allowed herself to drop down in the waiting room chair for a moment. It felt as if she was living inside another woman’s body. She didn’t feel much like herself. The news hit her hard, but there was no tears. She couldn’t understand where the strength came from. She loved her son with all of her heart. There was no doubt in her mind.

She sat back, forcing herself to take a deep breath and relax her tight muscles. The tension was incredible, she could feel her joints cracking in her back as she moved her shoulders around.

She had a very strange vision. It was eerie, but she snapped back to reality.

The emergency room door opened and the doctor came out to meet with her. He looked nervous, his hands were shaking and he was sweating. His straight gaze never wavered as he stood directly in front of her. He looked almost uncomfortable. After a long moment he spoke without taking his eyes off her.

She had barely avoided wincing when the doctor had told her that her son died on the table. He had hung himself in the basement of an abandoned factory over on the West End. The hanging was discovered by two homeless men looking for cooper wires.

Terror lit up her eyes as she listened. There was nothing more to say. There was nothing more the doctor could think of to say. I’m sorry for your loss wasn’t going to cut it. He knew that she knew it.

Silence filled her head as she was trying to absorb what the doctor had just told her. She was having a hard time understanding why her happy-go-lucky son decided to end his life so abruptly.

Had she done something wrong?

She had wondered for most of her life what it felt like to be dead. And when her son died, she needed not wonder anymore. She felt dead.

© 2011 Frank Atanacio


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    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thanks Darksage :)

    • Darksage profile image

      Khen Ramos 3 years ago from Philippines

      "No parent deserves to bury their child." As one of my favorite quotes from Lord of the Rings go. This was another amazing hub Sir Frank. Short yet powerful.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much tobusiness, Ariel-Cal..:) and Anna Haven for reading my entry :)

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      I wonder what secrets the poor son had harboured. You relayed the tragedy of the situation perfectly.

    • Ariel-Cal profile image

      Evelia Veronica Rivera 3 years ago from Bridgeport, CT

      Very great writing, almost brought tears to my eyes...Thumbs up Frank

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Frank, even with this minimal background information, you've managed to make us feel the agony of this poor woman. To lose a child must be so very painful, but to know your child was desperate enough to take his life must be unbearable. Nice work!!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thanks so much Jlava

    • Jlava73 profile image

      Jennifer Vasconcelos 5 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

      Your Hubs always stir some strong emotion Frank, that gives them their edge and power.