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Haiku Jokes – Part Two

Updated on March 14, 2012

Haiku Jokes – Part Two

Haikus are addictive, fun to create and almost as enjoyable as chocolate. So here is the second edition of my haiku creations.

You may want to read my previous effort first, Haiku and Senryu Jokes, which explains the format and nature of these brief but pithy three line, 17-syllables only, poems which may or may not rhyme.


What is large and gray

And wears glass slippers all day?

Cinderelephant!


My pig learned judo.

Now he struts around like cops

Practicing pork chops.


What patriot warned,

“Coming this way are British!”

It was … Paul Reverse.



Why did Noah fish

Only two times on the Ark?

He had just two worms.


Hear about the skunk

Who attended the town’s church?

He had his own pew.


Name something dogs do

That people may step into.

No, not poo! ... It’s pants.

Baby snake asks mom,

“Mother, are we poisonous?”

“Why?” … “Just bit my tongue.”


What do you call fish

That do not have any eyes?

That is simple. Fsh.


I’m reading a book

About anti-gravity.

Just can’t put it down.


That guy is so dumb,

He requested a price check

At the dollar store.


The ship ran aground,

Its cargo – red and black paint.

The crew were marooned!


Why so many Jones

In the phone book? Do you know?

Guess they all have phones.


I told the hotel,

“I’ve gotta leak in my sink.”

They said, “Go ahead!”


New Easter egg hunt

For those Alzheimer’s patients.

They hide their own eggs.


Where do youse find trees

In da city of Brooklyn?

Between twos and fours.

So what can you do

With a dog that has no legs?

Take him for a drag.


There’s a new food that

Lowers the female sex drive.

It’s called wedding cake.


Never knew what true

Happiness was ‘til marriage.

Then it was too late.


Just want to leave you laughing ...

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"

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    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thanks again for the laughs :)

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      (Snicker!)

      What a hoot!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Loved every line. You are soo funny. Noah used the last two worms..HaHa..

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      Oh, I need these giggles and grins you are giving me, drbj :)

      Voted up and hilarious :)

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 5 years ago from Upstate New York

      LOL! The Brooklyn joke is the big winner for me today.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      I can't say which one I like better; I liked them all. Well, OK...I guess it's the wedding cake one. As usual, you are good for a laugh, girl!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 5 years ago from TEXAS

      Aieeeeeeeeeee - haha!

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      so cute. I love this.. You make it .look so easy and fun thanks

      voted up

      Debbie

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      Cheers for the laughs. The funniest one was the cartoon chicken at the checkout. The "wedding cake" one ran it a close second.

      Keep up the good work.

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

      Wonderful hahaikus! :)

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Ha ha ha great work here;my partner thinks he is the king of Jokers so I'll surprise him with a few of my own tonight.

      If you have anymore please keep them coming.

      Up up nad away here.

      Take care and enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You are so welcome,

      My dear, sweet nice friend, Susan.

      It is my pleasure.

      How's that for a fast Haiku retort?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks for the Western hoot, Will. I'll take a snicker (or a groan) any time.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Anyone who loves every funny line is my friend for life, Ruby. But then you already were. I know the 'Noah and the 2 worms' Haiku might have been a little gross, but what the hey, a laugh is a laugh. Right?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Martie, Happy to provide giggles and grins today. What, no groans? I must be improving. Thank you, m'dear, for the hilarious and the up. I needed those today!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Delighted I could provide a winner for you, Paradise. And my apologies to any and all Brooklynites. I love youse all.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You liked them all, mary? I dunno, maybe you shouldn't encourage me. But thanks for choosing the wedding cake one - I kinda like it, too. Always happy to be good for a laugh, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Nellieanna. Had to translate the 'Aieeeeeeeeeee,' but it's OK. Learned that it means the funniest, most hilarious and humorous jokes I have read in my entire life. Right?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Debbie, Thank you for loving this and the up. Creating these funny haikus is easy - you just have to think outside the box and not take your meds. Heh, heh.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      I like the 'bock,bock' chicken, too, christopher, and the wedding cake. Delighted I could provide you with a few laughs. Cheers backatcha, my hubbuddy. Will try to keep up the good work as long as my (in)sanity holds up.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Now that was a stroke of genius, Feline. You just coined the ingenious word, Hahaiku, which I shall speedily appropriate forthwith. Thank you. If I write any more of these I shall title them Hahaikus and give you the proper credit. No dollars, just credit. And thanks for the wonderful, m'dear.

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      That was really fast

      Doc you are truly a blast

      Funny Haiku's too

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Oh, yes, Eddy, you go, girl. Surprise your partner tonight! And while you're at it, tell him a few jokes, too.

      If I think of some more, you will be the first to know. Thanks for the up and away.

    • Green Lotus profile image

      Hillary 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Your Haiku jokes are delightfully funny. Even funnier than all those cartoons on the page! How do you do it?

    • amillar profile image

      amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK

      Addictive and fun,

      Enjoyable as chocolate,

      Just like drbj’s hubs.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      drbj, I wanted to send you some fan mail, but I cannot find your fan-mail inbox on your profile... ???

      Just want to say it is good to know you. I wish I could have known you in real life, but let me not kick against the pricks and just be grateful because I know your awesome spirit in CyberSpace :)

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      This hub was just as funny as the first one. I laughed the whole time. You are really good at this. Maybe we should look forward to part 3?

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Each one I read I thought, "oh that's my favorite"...until I read the next! I have to say I love all the animal haiku's. Brilliantly, hilariously entertaining.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I was laughing with each joke I read. The comic photos are also a real hoot! Thanks, I needed a lift tonight.

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

      You obviously inspire us all to be funny, drbj! Feel free to appropriate hahaiku! :)

    • psychicdog.net profile image

      psychicdog.net 5 years ago

      Great bit of light reading - with my growing time constraints this was not demanding and a great laugh thanks drbj!

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Awesome hilarious as always Drbj. A-number one haiku jokes!

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      You have a very funny collection of haiku jokes and cartoons, drbj! Thank you once again for the amusement and the laughs. Reading your hub is a great way to start my day.

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      Ha ha - these are absolutely great! Loved the jokes... I admit a few made me shake my head and a couple I had to think about. What a crazy fun hub. Thanks for making me smile!

    • John Sarkis profile image

      John Sarkis 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Cute drbj, really enjoyed it!

      Take care

      John

    • glinnmgraw profile image

      glinnmgraw 5 years ago from India

      wow!! ha ha ha these is very good hubs. drdj, thank for enjoy ...

      Good luck.

      Glinn

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Are you from Japan?

      If so, Susan, and you sneeze,

      Do you say, "Haiku?"

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Hilary, thank you for finding my haikus delightfully funny and funnier than the cartoons you see? Wow! That's really an accolade. How do I do it? Must be my inner child trying to escape.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Oh, no, not you, too, amillar. Has the Haiku craze overtaken you, too? But it's OK. Anyone who compares my hubs to chocolate is my kind of hubbuddy.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      I dunno, Martie, some playful spirit keeps moving my contact info around. Sometimes it is on the second page right under my profile, and other times it is on the first hubpage at the right under the first ad. Like this one. Please do send me some fan mail; I love it.

      It is goooooood to know you too, m'luv, even though it is only cyperspace at the moment. But one never know, do one?

      Signed, Your 'awesome spirit' hubbuddy

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Pamela. Just as funny as the first one? Laughed the whole time? You are really good at commenting, girl, don't stop. I promise to try to jump-start my muse for a third edition. For you, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Amy, have been wondering how you are. What gracious comments. Thank you for loving the animal haikus. And thanks for the sublime adjectives. What a coincidence! They are the same words I would have used! Heh, heh.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, teaches. So happy you were laughing with each joke and found the cartoons a hoot, too. I feel just like an elevator now giving you a 'lift.' Corny, I know, but true.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Feline, for your written permission to appropriate 'hahaiku.' And how did you know? Inspiration together with knowledge are two of my favorite things to disseminate.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, psychicdog. Thanks for finding some time within your growing time constraints to visit these haikus. Appreciate your visit and delighted I could provide a great laugh. Any time.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Alastar. Always appreciate your visits, my friend. Especially since you make such gracious comments as awesome, hilarious and number one haiku jokes. Don't stop - you're on a roll!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      If reading my funny collection of haiku jokes and cartoons, is a great way to start your day, Alicia, you will be interested to know that sweet comments from you really works to start my day for me. Thank you and you are most welcome.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Stacy, thanks for loving these jokes. Crazy fun is what I love to provide especially if you have to shake your head a few times. Making you smile is my pleasure, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks for the visit and enjoying these Haikus, John. Happy to know you thought them cute. Me, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Nice to meet you, Glinn. Thanks for the ha ha ha-ing and enjoying my Haikus. The pleasure, believe me, is all mine. Good luck to you, too.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Paul Reverse! Hahaha! I liked the leaky sink too especially - I had to think about it for a minute! Haha!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Cute, and Funny and Fine...That's our Drbj all the TIME!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Those were two of my favorites, too, Kelly, Paul Reverse and the leaky sink. We great minds do tend to stick together. Don't apologize, m'luv, for having to think a minute. That's a compliment you know.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, b. Have you noticed how my Haikus tend to bring out the poetic inner spirit in all of us. You, m'dear, are no exception with your clever rhyming comment. Thank you.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Haha I loved all of these. My favourites were the leak and the easter egg hunt, I can so relate to that one (the egg hunt not the leak) I hope the very last thing I lose is my sense of humour, but then how could I lose that with you around to keep it tuned up and in good working order. Lol

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Rosemary, for loving these Haikus. Your favorites are my favorites, too. I hope to stay around awhile to help both of us keep our respective sense of humor in good condition. You will never lose yours, m'dear. I have spoken!

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      nice work. very funny!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, PdXKG, for enjoying and commenting on my funny Haikus. Your presence is appreciated.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 20 months ago from Orlando, FL

      What an awesome idea...Haiku jokes! These were hilarious, but then no surprise there! Now I am in the mood to write some haikus again. They are such a great brain exercise, add some humor to them such as you did and you get a cardio workout too from laughing! :) Congrats on your 2015 Hubbie Award!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 20 months ago from south Florida

      Hi, Linda. You had to do some searching, girl, to find these. Nice to see you here. I agree, writing Haikus does exercise what is left of my brain ... er, I mean, my left brain. My right brain doesn't need any such impetus ... yet!

      Thanks for the sweet comments and the congrats. Backatcha on the congrats - your winning one is not too shabby either.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 19 months ago from New York

      Too funny! It takes a lot of talent to turn a phrase and make it as humorous as you do. It looks easy because we're laughing, but try doing it and you find out it's not so easy.

      Well done drbj. That's why you're the funniest!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 19 months ago from south Florida

      Ah, Mary, you always know just the right things to say. So happy you found these and thank you for laughing and for the sublime comments. So I'm the funniest, eh? I shall cherish that description, m'dear.

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