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A Bread Family Christmas - Humor

Updated on December 14, 2013

Although, not much is known about the origins of the Bread family, their ancestry can be traced all the way back to the days of Moses and the leavened lineage of the Manna’s. Could it be that YOU have never heard the Bread Family Christmas story?

Well, sit back, relax, fix a cup of hot coca and grab a warm blanket. The story you are about to read has eluded most until now.

Our story begins one cold winter Christmas Eve night. Corn & Ginger Bread were busily preparing for guests to arrive to celebrate Christmas.

The Bread’s were blessed with six little muffins, Blueberry, Banana Nut, English, Choco Latte., Bran and Pumpkin. Now Blueberry left an imprint everywhere she went. Banana Nut, the character of the group, loved to tell jokes but couldn’t always keep it together. English the third born muffin, had a split sense of humor while Choco Latte was more a chip off the ‘ol block. Bran avoided confusion and much preferred for everything to simply run smooth. Last but not least, Pumpkin, the baby, spiced things up. Of course, no family would be complete without the family pet, Hushpuppy.

The little muffins were anxiously awaiting the arrival of well… you know who? Corn Bread was worried because the troubled economy was making raisin six little muffins difficult. Times were tough for the Breads, with everyone tightening their belts (or trying too), many Breads were being sliced. Day after day, he would roll to the factory, because they kneaded the dough. However, Ginger Bread never seemed overly concerned; she went about her sweet way, smiling through the worst of times. It didn’t matter what the mood was inside the little canister they called a house, Ginger Bread always made everyone feel a little bit better.

Every year Corn Bread invited his in-laws; the loaves. Their rye sense of humor was never received well and most of the time they ended up behaving like heels. Yet year after year, Corn Bread kept hoping that this would be the year things would be different.

Earlier that afternoon, Ginger Bread had put the little muffins down for their nap so they would be wide awake for the festivities. “Rise and shine”, sang Ginger Bread. The little muffins seemed stuck in the warmth of their surroundings, but a little bit of careful nudging and they were ready to greet everyone.

As customary, Breads from all over the country would soon be arriving from Yeast to West and everywhere in-between. Aunt Éclair and Cousin Pita were the first to arrive, followed by Uncle Crumpet. Uncle Crumpet always made Ginger Bread nervous because sometimes he would arrive a little half baked. Other relatives included: Biscuit who had obviously packed on a few extra layers but was jolly and fluffy as ever. Ciabatta traveled all the way from Italy, just to be there. Of course, Sourdough showed up angry followed by Grandma Pumpernickel who was a crusty ‘ol Bread. However, soon everyone had reached their destination and the little house was filled with Bread’s. More than three dozen Breads were gathered around the oven.

The clock ticked ever so slowly as anticipation grew for the little muffins; they were almost crumbling with excitement, when suddenly a loud POP was heard outside the little house, followed by a giggle. It was time; the moment they had been waiting for! There he was, easily identifiable by his characteristic hat, shirt and no pants ensemble. Yes, it was the famous Dough Boy himself, delivering goodies, fresh from the oven. He spoke not a word, but the giggles were endless. Dough Boy went straight to his work and was soon out the door, but they heard him exclaim as he soared out of sight, Whooo Hooo Hoo Hoo happy baking to all and to all a good night.

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