ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Handsome Man Seeking Woman - Must Love Animals.

Updated on February 22, 2019
clivewilliams profile image

Clive Williams is an internet researcher and writer on many genres. He has a BSc. Degree in Information Systems.

Must Love Animals
Must Love Animals

Man Seeks Woman For Love and Long Term Relationship

Good day. I am a handsome man who seeks the companion of a beautiful female for long and lasting relationship. I am a hard working individual who possesses unique skill sets which have made me advance in various work fields and has contributed significantly to my overall personal development. I have completed studies in the Information Technology field and now persisting a career in animal care. I have a built in Viagra so the lucky woman may have to keep up with all the pleasures that will be rushing her way like a tsunami. I am seeking a beautiful woman to love and care for until death do us part. The woman who is lucky enough to have me will be required to have the below attributes.

1. Woman Must Love Animals

The lucky lady who will spend the rest of her life with this tall dark and handsome chap must love animals. She must have a genuine likeness for living with and caring for dogs, cats, birds, fishes, horses, chickens, etc. She must be willing to understand the temperament of each kind of common animals and be able to work with and care for them. She must put the animals interest over her very own and have a vet on speed dial in case of any emergency with any animal in her care. She must be able to do basic health diagnostics on animals to ensure that theey keep up an optimal heath and remain happy.

2. Woman Must Can Cook For Animals

With the downturn in the economy, more people are heading into a frugal kind of living more than anything else. The lucky lady must be able to come up with unique animal recipes, especially dog and cat home made recipe. She must be able to prepare these recipe on a weekly basis. The home made pet food should be delicious and well presentable for even those people who do expensive dining and would consider this home made animal treat a great dish to indulge in.

3. Woman Must Sleep With Animals.

The successful woman should be willing to share her bed with animals. she must allow our dog, cat or any other animal to occupy a space on the bed at nights during sleeping time. If for some reason all the animals decide to sleep on the bed, she must leave that bed to the animals and take up residence on the floor or in the sofa.

4. Woman Must Groom Animals

Woman are natural figures of beauty and care. It is only right for a woman to also groom and care for animals. The lucky lady will have to bath and trim the animals. Claws must be well kept on dogs and cats. She will have to groom each animal at least twice a week. No animal should be left looking like a dreadlocks high om weed. I am a flexible man, so if the woman does not come with this required skill set, training will be made available to her.

5. Woman Must Be Able To Go On All Fours

The lucky lady to receive the love of this handsome man must be able to go on all fours, meaning that she must be able to play with the animals and act like she is also apart of the animal kingdom. But she must be careful, as the last lady who did this was mistaken for a stray dog and was caught by the dog catcher and impounded. I haven't heard back from her since.

Conclusion

If you fit the criteria of the woman being sought, don't be afraid to drop me an email with, "I am animal" in the subject field. Short listed applicants will hear from me withing two to three weeks. If you are not short listed, well have a nice day.

Relationship Dating Humor

This article is for humorous purposes only. If this article offends anyone, then go love an animal!

© 2019 Clive Williams

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      9 months ago from USA

      Lucky gal!

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      9 months ago from Jamaica

      Yes Flourish...she will also inherit all the animals i have.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      9 months ago from USA

      Looks like the line is starting with Victoria. I hope you’re offering them more than a tsunami.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      9 months ago from Jamaica

      It seems Victoria is ready and willing John. I will have to introduce her frst to my two dogs Venom and Nica to let them assess her worthiness.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      9 months ago from Jamaica

      LOL@ Shannon. Hey, you just gotta love animals.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      9 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Haha good one Clive, I guess if I was advertising it would need to be similar. Maybe not quite as strict lol. I think you already have an applicant with your first commenter Victoria. Good luck.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      9 months ago from Texas

      Hahahaha...Pam's comment made me laugh. What's a matter, Pam. Are you afraid the dog catcher might get you too? Actually, I think I must agree with her. Must love animals is an understatement. It should say "animals must be your entire existence." LOL.....Or you could just marry a vet.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      9 months ago from Jamaica

      lol hey Pam...must love animals.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      9 months ago from Sunny Florida

      I happen to love animals but your requirements are too strict for any woman to get your tsunami of love.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hmm Sounds about right

    • profile image

      Victoria willies 

      9 months ago

      Am Victoria 23 years seeking aman in his 28-30 Love animals and loving

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)