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Help - I Don't Belong in the 21st Century!
Help - I don't belong in the 21st Century!
I knew that I had finally snapped, when I found myself at the chopping board with a tube of toothpaste and a carving knife.
I was aware that my Husband was watching me over my shoulder. He was taking a deep breath to pluck up the courage to ask me what I was doing, fearing the worse.
“I am just trying to open it!”, I exclaimed.
He examined the tube of toothpaste and sure enough admitted there just didn’t seem to be any way to get into it.
On further examination, we found an instruction leaflet inside the box, explaining that you actually use the cap of the tube to pierce the end of the toothpaste tube, ah yes of course silly us….
Now, if we had already thrown the toothpaste box away it would have left us no alternative but to go with the carving knife option.
Do we really need instructions on how to open a tube of toothpaste?
Apparently I do…
Welcome to the 21st Century
The toothpaste episode really got me thinking about life’s little changes over the years. There are many annoyances that I am struggling with, and these repeated frustrations are responsible for making me (just a little bit) irritable. I’m really starting to think that I don’t belong in the 21st Century!
Shopping to (Hard Rock) Music
When music was first introduced to supermarket shopping, it seemed like a revolutionary idea at the time. We would drift around the aisles, shopping list in hand, humming to Tchaikovsky in a dream-like state. Or I would find myself happily tapping my fingers on the handle of the shopping cart, whilst Mozart helped me to pick my weekly groceries. It used to be a very pleasant shopping experience.
But then it seemed that someone, somewhere had a brainstorm and decided that the general public needed livening up a bit. Obviously, the way forward was so get the shopping done to hard rock music. Oh and by the way let’s crank up the volume a few decibels.
I Think I Am 'Losing The Plot!'
I just want to buy some cheese
Where is the cheese
That boom, boom, boom
It’s getting louder I’m sure
My head is pounding
I’ve been up this aisle before
And down this one twice
Can’t think straight
I said excuse me
The store closes at eight
And I’m looking for some cheese
No problem - you’ll find the peas
Over there aisle number three
Plastic, Plastic Everywhere…
Have you noticed that most things that you buy today are wrapped in plastic? Someone somewhere is getting a little obsessive about it and is covering the lids of our jars and bottles and testing my patience!
Before you even think about unscrewing that lid you have to wrestle with the plastic.
And what about our environment? We don’t want all this plastic. Don’t manufacturers know that to the average consumer it’s virtually indestructible (which is more than can be said about my patience)?
Tools to Survive the 21st Century
I’ve brushed my teeth nice and clean
That’s part one of my routine
Mouthwash makes my breath fresh and nice
I take a swill, swish around and gargle twice
But today is indeed a dreaded day
That plastic wrapping stands in my way
I pull and tug and try to tear
The plastic wrapping that is there
I try the scissors they don’t fit
Now my longest nail has split
It’s off! It’s shredded into strips
Looks like a record just 10 bits!
Now I’m wondering, how do lovely little old ladies cope with all these obstacles? They too must be struggling; they must get frustrated and annoyed -
- shopping in supermarkets that are more like nightclubs,
- trying to open lids,
- wrestling with plastic wrapping.
Wait a minute…
I am that little old lady…!