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Hi I'm Mr. P Do You Remember Me ?

Updated on October 4, 2012

Who Could It Be ?

I was sound asleep and the phone was ringing

I wonder who is calling ?

It is eight oclock in the morning

I answered the phone with an angry and loud HELLO !

Hi so sorry to call you so early in the morning but you know I never sleep

Well I do and what do you want ?

I am calling about a matter that is of great concern to you

If it is about politics and the upcoming election

I already voted and don't waste my time

No sir

I am Mr P.

I am so glad I caught you at home

Where else would I be a eight in the morning

Well a lot of people go to work in the morning

I try to catch them right before they leave

I use to call at six and most people get real mad

I don't know what you want but can't it wait

I think it has waited long enough

If I didn't call you now you would go even longer

What is this all about ?

If your trying to sell me something I am not interested

If you are wasting my time I will be very upset and I am going to give you a piece of my mind

I called you earlier but you hung up on me

I should hang up on you again

But you caught me when I was not thinking

I am here to inform you of a very serious matter that needs your complete attention

I am new at this and I want to do a really good job

I like to be upbeat and one step beyond the competition

You see if I get the jump on them I will get all the business

Times are tough and money is hard to come by

So what is it your trying to say

Your not selling me anything but you keep on talking

If you are kid and pulling a prank

I will find you and make sure you never prank anyone again

No sir this is perfectly legal I assure you

If not the police is the last thing you have to worry about

Make it fast I have to go to work

Welll every day I come into your life and I cause you aggrivation

Until one day I cause you the ultimate pain

There are so many ways that people ignore me

So I no longer go door to door

But I still prefer the personal touch

You are really starting to get on my nerves

Honey will you talk to this person

What is your name again ?

Mr P.

Hello

Hello

Hi I was tryng to explain to ....

My husband gets really mad when someone calls in the morning and two when he has to go to work

So what was it that you want ?

I was actually calling for him not you

You have never been on my list

I keep hoping but another year goes by and your name never pops up

Well if it concerns my husband he will let me take care of it

O.k. it is unusual but I guess I can make an exception to the rule

As I was telling your husband I am a go getter and I am filled with lots of energy

I try to stay one step ahead of the competition

Do you know your husband forgets to brush his teeth after he eats

He doesn't like to floss

He eats a couple of sweet snacks during the day with lots of sugar

Is overdue for the dentist and keeps putting it off

As I said before I am Mr. P and your husband has been great to me

Hold on your Mr. Plaque

I like Mr,P better I am more like a favorite teacher and a friend

Over the years I have paid for a new car just from the fillings he has had

I am now sending my kids through college and it is going to be real expensive

I work directly with the dentist and the sooner he goes I can get paid

I know he has the early signs of gingivitis and I would really like to wait till it becomes peridontal disease

That's where I make my big money

The fillings were good and I loved it when he needed two teeth pulled

I really enjoyed the root canal and last year didn't he have two crowns

The phone went dead

Hello are you still there ?

I hope I didn't scare you away

I am just trying to drum up some business and I know he will go to the dentist adventually

Most people do

I was going to call him next week when his cavity goes so deep it would causes his tooth to ache

But colleges want the money upfont and I can't seem to wait

Like I said before you are fine

You have a soft toothbrush that is good for your gums

You brush more than the average person

You floss whenever you get the time

You stay away from too many sweets and when you do eat them you brush all my plague away

You are not my customer but If you change your mind I am always looking for good teeth to hide behind

I get into the gums and do my dirty work

I have noticed you even use Listerine Coolmint Mouthwash

Years ago you changed your toothbrush in for a new Sonicare electric one

It has been advertised as removing more plaque and dentists reccomend it

I am glad so many people don't listen

With all the information out there you would think I wouildn't have a job

But thanks to your husband and people like him I will always stay in business

Matter of fact even with the economy down business has never been better

I got a raise three times in the past year

I am up for best plaque of the year award

Did you know a friend of mine won it three years in row

Now that is something to root for

Are you still on the phone ?

Pick up the phone !!!

You might want to take this....

I am too busy and tell whoever it is I will call them back

What is so important???

I don't have time for breakfast because of that darn phone call

I will grab a couple of donuts and some coffee on the way

You hear a laugh and then a chuckle on the other end of the phone

Don't forget to tell him to eat those....

Chewy goey red fishes and gumy bears in his desk with lunch and a can of soda

The more sugar the better

I really think you should take this.....

Just hang up ....

Click click the line goes dead

That's the fourth phone call today

I am off to a rough start but by noontime I should be settled in

That is when I do my best work right after lunch and just before bed

Tomorrows another day and if you are like so many other people

I might be giving you a call real soon

Hello I'm Mr. P and I wonder if you have the time


Comments

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    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      6 years ago

      Gypsy Rose Lee Don't worry I flossed three times today.I went form zero to three after writing about Mr.P.Minnetonka Twin I know we all get lazy fom time to time.But it is easier to get back on track sooner than later.Wishing you both the brightest,whitest smile.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      6 years ago from Minnesota

      I will be sure to brush well in the future. You all have me freaked out!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      6 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Sure hope Mr. P doesn't have my number I forgot to brush my teeth last night as I fell asleep but I did in the morning.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      6 years ago

      kj force You always see the bright side of things.Sleep deprivation combined with a creative imagination will bring on hallucinations and strange twists in all situations.Experience is the best teacher.Thanx so much and have a great night.

    • kj force profile image

      kjforce 

      6 years ago from Florida

      DREAM ON..FYI..it has been duly noted that poor oral hygiene ( not brushing & flossing) is now attributted to early Dementia and Alzheimers..who would have thought ? just thought you would like to know...have a great night..have you read

      " Cold October Night " yet ?

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      6 years ago

      kj force I went to the dentist today.A recieved a nice cleaning and I have one filling.I am now going to floss more to prevent further cavities.My mind made up the rest.Maybe more meds wouldn't be a bad idea.What will I think of then.Thanx as always for reading.

    • kj force profile image

      kjforce 

      6 years ago from Florida

      DREAM ON...Great hub..only one thing, you are off your meds again...which is causing the delusions..you are obviously suffering from a guilt complex on not keeping up with your oral hygiene. You need to make an appointment asap, to get to the " root " of the problem..love your approach to life and it's quirks...hmmm

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