Hi I'm Mr. P Do You Remember Me ?
Who Could It Be ?
I was sound asleep and the phone was ringing
I wonder who is calling ?
It is eight oclock in the morning
I answered the phone with an angry and loud HELLO !
Hi so sorry to call you so early in the morning but you know I never sleep
Well I do and what do you want ?
I am calling about a matter that is of great concern to you
If it is about politics and the upcoming election
I already voted and don't waste my time
I am Mr P.
I am so glad I caught you at home
Where else would I be a eight in the morning
Well a lot of people go to work in the morning
I try to catch them right before they leave
I use to call at six and most people get real mad
I don't know what you want but can't it wait
I think it has waited long enough
If I didn't call you now you would go even longer
What is this all about ?
If your trying to sell me something I am not interested
If you are wasting my time I will be very upset and I am going to give you a piece of my mind
I called you earlier but you hung up on me
I should hang up on you again
But you caught me when I was not thinking
I am here to inform you of a very serious matter that needs your complete attention
I am new at this and I want to do a really good job
I like to be upbeat and one step beyond the competition
You see if I get the jump on them I will get all the business
Times are tough and money is hard to come by
So what is it your trying to say
Your not selling me anything but you keep on talking
If you are kid and pulling a prank
I will find you and make sure you never prank anyone again
No sir this is perfectly legal I assure you
If not the police is the last thing you have to worry about
Make it fast I have to go to work
Welll every day I come into your life and I cause you aggrivation
Until one day I cause you the ultimate pain
There are so many ways that people ignore me
So I no longer go door to door
But I still prefer the personal touch
You are really starting to get on my nerves
Honey will you talk to this person
What is your name again ?
Hi I was tryng to explain to ....
My husband gets really mad when someone calls in the morning and two when he has to go to work
So what was it that you want ?
I was actually calling for him not you
You have never been on my list
I keep hoping but another year goes by and your name never pops up
Well if it concerns my husband he will let me take care of it
O.k. it is unusual but I guess I can make an exception to the rule
As I was telling your husband I am a go getter and I am filled with lots of energy
I try to stay one step ahead of the competition
Do you know your husband forgets to brush his teeth after he eats
He doesn't like to floss
He eats a couple of sweet snacks during the day with lots of sugar
Is overdue for the dentist and keeps putting it off
As I said before I am Mr. P and your husband has been great to me
Hold on your Mr. Plaque
I like Mr,P better I am more like a favorite teacher and a friend
Over the years I have paid for a new car just from the fillings he has had
I am now sending my kids through college and it is going to be real expensive
I work directly with the dentist and the sooner he goes I can get paid
I know he has the early signs of gingivitis and I would really like to wait till it becomes peridontal disease
That's where I make my big money
The fillings were good and I loved it when he needed two teeth pulled
I really enjoyed the root canal and last year didn't he have two crowns
The phone went dead
Hello are you still there ?
I hope I didn't scare you away
I am just trying to drum up some business and I know he will go to the dentist adventually
Most people do
I was going to call him next week when his cavity goes so deep it would causes his tooth to ache
But colleges want the money upfont and I can't seem to wait
Like I said before you are fine
You have a soft toothbrush that is good for your gums
You brush more than the average person
You floss whenever you get the time
You stay away from too many sweets and when you do eat them you brush all my plague away
You are not my customer but If you change your mind I am always looking for good teeth to hide behind
I get into the gums and do my dirty work
I have noticed you even use Listerine Coolmint Mouthwash
Years ago you changed your toothbrush in for a new Sonicare electric one
It has been advertised as removing more plaque and dentists reccomend it
I am glad so many people don't listen
With all the information out there you would think I wouildn't have a job
But thanks to your husband and people like him I will always stay in business
Matter of fact even with the economy down business has never been better
I got a raise three times in the past year
I am up for best plaque of the year award
Did you know a friend of mine won it three years in row
Now that is something to root for
Are you still on the phone ?
Pick up the phone !!!
You might want to take this....
I am too busy and tell whoever it is I will call them back
What is so important???
I don't have time for breakfast because of that darn phone call
I will grab a couple of donuts and some coffee on the way
You hear a laugh and then a chuckle on the other end of the phone
Don't forget to tell him to eat those....
Chewy goey red fishes and gumy bears in his desk with lunch and a can of soda
The more sugar the better
I really think you should take this.....
Just hang up ....
Click click the line goes dead
That's the fourth phone call today
I am off to a rough start but by noontime I should be settled in
That is when I do my best work right after lunch and just before bed
Tomorrows another day and if you are like so many other people
I might be giving you a call real soon
Hello I'm Mr. P and I wonder if you have the time