His Discussion with a Counselor After the Lockdown Has Been Eased Helped Him

"I am a 33 years old guy, who started my business about ten years ago after years of endless search for white collar job. When I could not stand going to friends for assistance again I decide to take the bulls by the horns myself, as I started my own business.

After about five years into the business, I discovered that, I can successfully feed two people, which is the common words of the marriage counselors in my island that if a man wants to get married to a lady, such a person should not prioritize his age, though it is good to consider one’s age, as one would not be growing young, but the most vital thing to consider according to counselors is that can the person feed two people extra, apart from feeding himself?

I discovered that when I was going into six years in the business I can feed two people conveniently with my capital not terribly affected. Therefore, I consider it that this is the time to start making a move to get a spouse, as it has been said to us repeatedly by our people that, “when you are not ready do not attempt a romantic relationship for anything can happen during the process”.

"My mind at first considers a lady very close to my family in the island that I reside in, her parents and my parents had been friends since their childhood days.

I made enquiries into her life and discovered that she was single, so I proposed to her, but she wasn’t forthcoming with her answers despite my pressurizing her so to say.

"She continues in her disposition of keeping me in a suspense for a while, and I am not the kind of person with such patience, thence, I decide to attempt a lady close to my office, this lass and I have been close for some months now, for I was the one who helps her in settling down into the environment when she arrives because she was new to our area, as she has just moved to the island after graduating from high school.

Since I have been helping her, there are people within the environment who have “christened” us “hubby and wife”.

Since the lady I had proposed to earlier on in my local assembly in the church did not come forth to me, I decided to bell the cart, telling myself, that it is even better that it becomes real, that we become husband and wife indeed, therefore, I did not hesitate again in making my mind known to her that I have been attracted to her for sometimes now.

However, on making my mind known to her, she makes the matter a trivial issue, saying “I am not serious”.

As she continues to say, it is what people are saying that I am banking on, that assuming I am really in love with her, I should have made myself known to her even before they started calling us husband and wife.

I tried to make myself clear to her, but she would not yield, then, I had to move forward with my life, charting another course.

"In charting this new course of movement, my mind takes me to a lass in the in our island, this lass was in her second year in the University, I had been hesitant on her case for long because I was considering her verily young, and still had a lot of sessions before her in the University, which I was thinking I may not be able to wait for.

Since my mind has been restless on the need for me to get someone as soon as soon can be I chatted up this naïve lass too and during this pandemic when things have kept us in doors, kept the institutions closed, we had more time to see each other often unlike before.

Weeks after making my mind known to her, she also responded positively, and we have since been seeing each other regularly.

When some of my friends heard of this development, the started saying that I should not rely on her, for she might afterwards turn her back on me, because they have had such experience in the past, of ladies who initially gave a nod to their dating but who would after a while turn their backs on the relationship saying they indeed answered “Yes”, because they were naïve and had not been exposed.

Some added that in her I should be assured that I cannot find a true love and should be looking elsewhere perhaps to any of the earlier ladies that are dillydallying in coming forth with their responses of love to me. Those ladies are those who indeed loved me they say, what they are doing for me is proving my real test of love for them, they added.

Intriguingly however, since the time she has come clean with her mind for me, that she wants to be ever with me, ever since her open confession of love, I haven’t find an occasion of regret being romantically involved with her.

The sayings of my friends have confused me and it is in this position that I am in when those ladies come back that they want to be romantically involved with me.

When these people returned, I had to tell them that since they it had taken them months to decide, I have moved ahead and chatted another lady up who had agreed to my consent.

They left disappointedly but would say, that, “if the lass eventually turned me down, they will be there waiting for me, for they know she will turn me down”.

Well now, we have been going without issues, she has not turned me down and I do not know what to do.

As the lockdown in the world was eased which is not excluding my island, I had to go to a marriage counselor to put me through this logjam situation that I am in.

The marriage counselor on hearing me out said to me that not all ladies fall into the purview of what my friends said, that if I really loved the lady whom I am going out with now, I should in no wise turn her down, for that would be disastrous, it will negatively affect her academics, because when a young lady falls in love, they really, really gives out their entirety into the relationship, but when their hearts of love are injured at the first instance, then they will become terror to men later, and some would not get married again, depending on the position of their hearts.

Having heard the marriage counselor out, I am now at peace, and have locked the doors of love of my heart to another lady, I want to be with this lady till death do us part for as she has said, “I am her first love, and should not break her heart.”