His Majesty, the weed smoking MESSI AH BARACK OBAMA addresses his subjects in 2011 (A Parody)
President Barack Hussein Obama calls for a "Joint" Session of Congress!
United States Congress joint sessions occur when both the House of Representatives and Senate meet together in one session. These only occur on special occasions such as the presidential inaugurations or The State of the Union Address (except in the case of THE MESSIAH* whose every appearance is a special occasion). Tonight, September 8, 2011 President Barrack (who is sane) Obama, the leader of the free world (including all 57 states) and Commander-in-Chief of the US Corpse-men, has called for a special "joint" session of Congress to lay out for the world his dreams (not from his father, I hope) of how to create jobs in America and save the nation from slipping back into the worst economic malaise since the great depression...again ... after once already saving America from George Bush. Inside the beltway the new saying goes "The blame in hand is worth two on George Bush!"
Although this session is neither a Presidential inauguration or State of the Union Address and definitely not a special occasion of such magnitude, remember, after all HE's Barack Obama* (who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2009*). This "special" session may be known throughout history as "THE JOINT" session of Congress for what will shortly become obvious reasons.
Tonight I'm watching the Saints vrs the Packers, wouldn't miss it for the world!
But first, here is my "blow by blow" coverage and armchair analysis of this sophomoric, excuse me, historic event, the President's address to a "joint" session of Congress to tell us how he is going to save the American Dream!.
This breaking news just in.
Anonymous sources at the state department have leaked to the NY Times that before the "joint" session of Congress began the Department of Justice authorized ATF agents in a secret operation called "Hash and Cannabis" to see that all members of Congress had access to medical marijuana before the "joint" session began.
Whistle blowers at the ATF overheard Nancy Pelosi say, "We have to pass the joint to find out what is in it," while Harry Reid quipped "Well Nancy, that ain't AstroTurf we're smokin'!"
Earlier several Tea Party* members of congress were reportedly seen by Rep. Carson lynching members of the black caucus on the white house lawn while speaker Boehner looked on, with a tear in his eye.
Meanwhile a fighter jet was scrambled when secret service men reported seeing a man pushing a cart on the roof of the House of Representatives. Turned out to be a false alarm as it was just Paul Ryan pushing an elderly lady in a wheelchair*. Although there was quite a bit of speculation by partisans as to what he was going to do to her, no charges were filed.
A reporter from the National Enquirer claimed he was interviewing Tea Partier* and Presidential candidate Michele Bachman before the address when she complained of a migraine headache coming on. Then she ran from the scene screaming hysterically that Elvis and the Duke were after her.
And so the stage is set for this sophomoric, excuse me, historic moment when President Barack (who is sane) Obama will address the Congress and the Nation. So I switch the channel to MSNBC to see what their commentators are saying and there is the human train wreck called Al Sharpton*, recently named the host of MSNBC'sPolitics Nation (also referred to as MSLSD or MSPMS because of the looney left leaning agenda of their Obama zombie news commentators like Keith Olbermann* and Ed Schultz*) . Just then my son comes into the room, "Yo Pop! What are you watching that for? Put on the pre-game show, the Saints and the Packers are playing at 9!"
"Oh yeah! I know son but this wll be over by then" I said sheepishly.
"Pop!, What's wrong with you? You know that is just a bunch of BS! Obama is looking to get re-elected, that's all. He'll just propose a lot of spending that wouldn't do anything to create jobs if it was passed anyway, and it won't be, so when the Tea Party Republicans who rode election wave into congress in 2010*oppose his programs he'll blame them and call them racists because no spending means minorities will be hurt and walla, he gets their votes. Now put on the game....please?"
"Well son," I said. "Don't you want to see what kind of spending you will be paying for, for the rest of your life?"
I thought to myself, OK my son has a short attention span, he'll watch for five minutes and then leave for a while - I can switch back and forth to see the MESSI AH Barrack Obama speak. While my son is in the kitchen getting some chips and dip I switch back to the MESSI AH Barrack Obama.
Then my wife, who grew up in New Orleans* comes into the room. "Well Bubba," she says to me, "Put the game on....geaux Saints!.... Whachyew doin here watchin the Messiah! Ewwwe is that John Kerry* sitting there in the audience? He looks like Frankenstein! And look at Senator McCain, he doesn't look any older than when he ran against Obama*, does he!
We turn our attention to those seated in the audience like Senate majority leader Harry Reid and House minority leader Nancy Pelosi, just plain folk, both salt of the earth elected representatives of the people. No astroturf under their feet!
Mitch McConnell, evil Republican minority leader in the Senate sat in the audience while Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow who were incensed at McConnell's statement that
“The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”
swore they saw him flashing the horned hand to republican members of congress entering the chamber!
Later when Chuck Schumer*, the third-ranking Senate Democrat, was asked about McConnell's behavior all he could say was “extreme, very extreme measures, extreme, extreme, extreme!"(The word around the beltway is that Schumer has just not been himself ever since the loss of his protégé attack dog and colleague in Congress, Representative Weiner*.)
And then there he is, the President flanked in back by Speaker Boehner and Vice President Joe 'Bite Me' Biden.The Messiah spends the first twenty minutes exhorting Congress to pass the bill, his American Jobs Act, 17 times in 20 minutes with 17 reasons why, mostly by government paying tax dollars to bribe companies to hire people. Of course it will be paid for, details to follow, as usual. Then I sat listening to his straw man arguments, his trademark and a lot of fact less rhetoric about how both Republicans and Democrats have supported everything in his bill ending in a rah rah cheer leading rant of the God Bless America campaign mode type. Then my son comes back in the room, "Pop!! Put the game back on!!"
"OK," and I switch the channel. Just had enough of the Messiah's campaign speech. What should be obvious to all is that Obama and his administration is scared to death of a double dip recession and this is their ploy to say to the Republicans, pass this bill which will avert a double dip or I will blame you for the consequences that occur so I might still be re-elected. Through the whole speech all I could think was well if this is so good and you really care more about jobs than anything else (like vacations at Martha's Vineyard, golf, health care that the country didn't want) why didn't you, the Messiah implement the AJA a couple years ago when you had control of congress? This is just insulting to an informed electorate but then where can you find that? Kenya maybe? Approval ratings of President Obama are now so low the Kenyans are accusing him of having been born in the United States.
After the president's speech to the "joint" session of Congress I learned there were calls by ATF whistle blowers for congressional and internal DOJ investigations* into the "Hash and Cannabis" operation to find out who knew what and when and whether Attorney General Holder or even the President, Barrack (who is sane?) Obama had authorized the operation. Congressional leaders dismissed the accusations by ATF whistle blowers as just a bunch of smoke....and mirrors. Harry Reid quickly sent another copy of the 2007 letter signed by 41 of his fellow democrats in the senate to clear channel excoriating Rush Limbaugh for calling our service men phony soldiers. (Not AstroTurf! eh Harry? Just what were you smoking back then?)
In response to critics who are asking why after giving a speech on civility President Obama doesn't address the never ending incivility of his supporters like Teamsters President Jimmy Hoffa Jr. who called on workers to "take these sons of bitches out" speaking of the tea party* or Maxine Waters' comment "as far as I’m concerned, the ‘tea party’ can go straight to Hell.” Obama aids said the President is considering a new Czar position on civility. Among appointees being considered are Maxine Waters and Jimmy Hoffa Jr.! (No surprise there) When aids were asked "Don't we have enough Czars already?" Obama aids replied, "Well we could create another agency, like FEMA* but we are having trouble funding FEMA after hurricane Irene.
Some of the 2012 presidential candidates* were available for comment after the address. So is Sarah Palin* running or not? If she does her good friend Michele wants to give her some advice* but they had nothiong to say about the address tonight. Herman Cain and other presidential hopefuls were interviewed after the address for their comments. To stand out from the Republican presidential candidates Herman Cain says that Americans can ban Muslims from building mosques*, whether in New York City or Tennessee. He has not seen a lot of support from Muslims ... or anyone else but said Obama's plan doesn't compare to his 9-9-9 plan, "If 10 percent is good enough for God 9 percent is God enough for the federal government". Mitt Romney*, working on straightening out his positions before summer vacation ends stated after observing the address, "All Obama wants to do is tax and spend. There is nothing new here. We need to cut spending and get government out of the way of the private sector and you'll see jobs created, just like I have outlined in my plan. Here is something to think about.
The salary of retired US Presidents is .............$180,000 FOR LIFE
House/Senate salaries are ...............................$174,000 FOR LIFE
Speaker of the House gets ..............................$223,500 FOR LIFE
Majority/Minority Leaders get ......................... $193,400 FOR LIFE
On average the salary of a soldier DEPLOYED IN AFGHANISTAN is.......$38,000
I think we found where cuts should be made!"
Ron Paul* listening to Romney's interview* remarked - "Well why don't we kill two birds with one stone! We'll put discipline and patriots in the Capitol by just bringing our boys home and give them the leaders' jobs and then deploy the leaders. what the hell, why not send all Congress to Afghanistan doing the soldiers' jobs, and hell, yes, let them keep their salaries for life, cause their lives won't be long over there."
Oh great! Fox News is asking Charlie Rangel for his opinion of Obama's address. Give me a break, who wants to listen to partisan, lifetime politician and tax cheat Charlie Rangel*? I'm done here, but just a moment for some sobering thoughts.
America needs to wake up. We have a choice to make......
We can entertain a dream world of Barack (who's sane?) Obama
OR WE CAN CHOOSE TO WAKE UP TO REALITY
Obama's First Ad of 2012?
The Real Video.....yawwwwn
Obama campaign staffers aren't singing like they were in 2008
In the end the special "joint" session of Congress turned out to be nothing more than a campaign speech. Things have gotten so bad in the Federal government it is hard to tell where reality ends and parody begins.
"Parody" seems to be the operative word nowadays as seen by the fact The National Republican Senatorial Committee Parody of Obama's 2012 Campaign Launch Video got three times the hits of the real Obama Campaign Launch video.
Could this be due to the popularity of shows like The Colbert Report and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart? 35% of Americans across the nation scored in the high knowledge area (where they correctly answered 15 or more of 23 questions). 54% of the Daily Show and Colbet Report regular viewers scored in the high knowledge area. When asked about the popularity of parody shows like the Daily Show by Bill O'Really of the No Spitt'n Zone, Stewart remarked, "Of course you see what I do as parody because you are unfair and unbalanced...but here, I brought you a gift. It's my limited edition straight jacket, autographed by George Bush, Dick Cheyney and Scooter Libby*!"
Be that as it may, every president faces a conflict which is he needs to be his party's leader as well as be President of the United States. A president who becomes a partisan will lose his key asset which is his presidentiality.
Could this be happening to Obama?
Whatever happens with jobs, the economy or elections we owe those who worship the Messiah a tribute so I chose to honor them and end this on a high note :-)
Well we can't leave without a peak of excerpts from the SOTU address.
An asterisk * represents that the link it follows is either a parody video or parody song. If you missed them go back and enjoy, they are hilarious!
Obama jingles? and more...
- The bologna has a first name, it's B-A-R-A-C-K
Welcome to the Official 2012 Obamalogna website!
- Barack Obama, and you tell me over and over and over again my friend...
Well maybe someone is talented enough to put these lyrics to the tune "Eve of destruction" and send it to me in video. I'll post it here.
- Forget Al Capone! Enter the age of political racketeers: THE BARACKETEERS!
A Racketeer is one who engages in dishonest & fraudulent business dealings. Meet the BARACKETEERS - Elected officials & cronies who engage in dishonest and fraudulent political practices and policies.
- THE FACTS: Were they just bumps in the road to Obama's re-election?
Are you suffering from a political Stockholm syndrome? (a psychological phenomenon in which voters who are held hostage to their candidate express empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors)
- Hilarious stuff on the web that will just make you laugh! (Lots of videos, takes time to load)
Yeah there are lots of hubs and websites that claim they have the funniest stuff but just aren't that funny - experience this hub page and then tell me you weren't entertained to the max!
Remember the media hullabaloo about Bush's gaffes?
Does the media focus on only conservative gaffes?
What if you put Obama's gaffes in George Bush's body? Are the gaffes more persuasive or is it the persona?
Watch this cartoon and decide.