His Smile To Remember
Back in middle school, a good friend of mine been depressing about his status as being gay. He was a very unique guy, he inspire people to move their feet and don’t give up. He is part of my inspiration because whenever I feel blue, he was always there to bring smile to my face. That would be him walking like a girl, talking like a girl or mimicking our teacher. I was going through tough moment having my mother being hospitalized and the worst is my relationship with my father came to disaster.
He was there for me and we always talk about our feeling together. People in school called him gay boy…homo…and all that heart breaking words that break his heart.
When time he is in pain, my friends and I would always stay by his side and we group hug. We always tell him to ignore and move on. That they are jealous because they aren’t unique as him. I always tell him to lift that head off his shoulder and wipe that ugly tears off his face or I’ll slap him lop sided till his dingdong fall off his pant. Every time I say that, he started to laugh then I’ll joke…ahhh…your laughing and crying at the same time, what does that look like? And my friend answered, sheep. And we would make sounds of sheep and he would continue to laugh.
We group hug again and start telling each other that if everyone is perfect and the same, this world will be boring! Just be happy for being who you are because this makes you unique and wonderful. Groups of 6 friends join together in a circle and start talking about each other tough moment in life and how we overcome that. Each story that we shared, really inspire each one of us to become a strong person.
My friend N**** was depress because her father was abusive to her mother. He beat her mother up all the time when he doesn’t get cigarette or alcohol beverage. She died in her bedroom and her father is arrested and she would have to go live with her aunt. My other friend said that her mother force her to get married but she wouldn’t and the guy was really mad and gang rape her. Each one of us has personal problem that place a huge scar in our heart. I told them my side of the story and we all cried together.
Everyone has problem, whether this could be appearance, family, or sexual status…everyone heart ache some part in their life.
It was an uplifting experience that all of us friends has shared. But one day has turn everything upside down.
I was at work, didn’t have time for my friend for a couple of day. He left me many message but I never return his call because I work very late. By the time I get home, I’m tired and knocked dead on my pillow. By the time he wake, I’m already at work. The last voice message he left me was, what is wrong being gay? He was going through many tough situation and argument with his mother due to the fact that his mother doesn’t accept him for being gay. His mother told him that she doesn’t want to have a son that is gay and she is ashamed to raise him as her son.
After hearing what his mother have told him, he jump off his apartment and by the time I get there, police has already surround the area. My other friend who receive the same voice mail from him came to see but was already too late…we hug each other crying after losing a wonderful person like him.
There is no problem of being gay and being who we are. We are human and have a heart. These people have feeing just like us. They are hurt just like us. They hide in their own shadow afraid to come out because their fear is how society look at them. Sure…gay can be a problem based on religious view, but if you keep religious belief to the side and put yourself in their shoes…how would you feel. For instant if you are married to your wife and some stranger came to pick her away from you and wouldn’t allow you to love her because a certain reason…how do you feel? Sad…yes…sad…and this is how they felt.
After losing a friend, I learn that accepting people of who they are is the most important and valuable tools in our every day life. If I someday have children and Lord, if I have a son that is gay, no matter how he turn out, I love him and accept him for who he is because it will hurt me more to see my son linger in pain because of my denial. I believe in equality…I believe in human rights…these people maybe freaky sometime…but they are freak’n unique if people accept them of who they are.