How I was Made

I used to love lying in bed and just listening to the rain bounce up and down on the conservatory. I would just snuggle under the duvet and be glad I was where I was. If the wind was swirling around the gardens so much the better. It just made me feel even more safe and secure.

I felt sorry for anyone out there, and when I heard a sound, I wondered what would make people venture out in that weather. Why would they swap the warmth for cold and rain?

One night I lay awake for hours. For some reason the rain and the wind did not sooth me the way it normally did. It was then I decided to go out and see what it was like to be out in it.

I wrapped up in my warmest clothes and left. I walked round the roads and was amazed at how different they looked without cars zooming along, and all the neighbours going about their lives.

I began to understand the attraction, and decided that I would do this again from time to time. Now however it was getting too cold and it had started to get light.

I turned for home and as I did so, a man appeared from nowhere. I could not believe that I had not heard his approach as there was not another sound.

He seemed genuinely surprised to see me too, and apologised for scaring me. He asked why I was out at this time and if I needed help to get home.

He seemed relieved when I said I could make my own way home, and told me to take care. As I was leaving he added "It would be nice to see again sometime" I smiled and said "hope to see you around".

I went straight to bed when I got in and fell asleep immediately. All I could dream about was the stranger I had met, and even when I woke I found that I was trying to picture his face clearly and think if I had seen him in the area before.

After a few days and nights of this, I decided that the only thing to do was to go for another night time walk and hope to bump into him again. Maybe he worked in a bar and was always out at that time.

I walked around for hours, following the route I had taken the first time that I saw him. As it was beginning to get light and I was beginning to get tired, i decided that I was unlucky and that it would be best to forget about him. I scolded myself for acting like a teenager anyway. Why on earth would I want to wander around in the middle of the night looking for a man I knew nothing about. He could be a murderer or weirdo, or less dramatically, he could be married or gay. I should just grow up, go back home and forget about my stupid actions.

As I neared the road back home, he was suddenly there again. He smiled and seemed pleased to see me. I made an excuse about not being able to sleep and thinking that a walk would make me sleepy. This time he offered to walk me home. It was not so much an offer as a statement so I agreed and told him where I lived. He chatted all the way home, and I was glad to realise that he did not seem at all weird or threatening. He told me that he was divorced, and happy about it, and that he worked unsociable hours. He was a bit evasive about where he worked and what he did, but I put that down to his reservations about me. I was concerned about him, but it was just as likely that he would be worried about me being a stalker. After all, I was the one who was out in the dark for no real reason.

At the door I was unsure what to do. I knew I should not ask him in, but it seemed like fate that we had met. He saved me the worry, by kissing my hand, saying that he must go and could he have my number to call me later that day. I gladly gave him the number and told him I would be in after 6.

I rushed through work that day and made sure that I was in for his call, By 11 I decided that he had changed his mind and started to get ready for bed. Then the phone rang and his first words were an apology for calling so late. He had been busy in work and this was the first chance ha had got. I arranged to meet him the following Friday, and then went up to bed happy.

I wish I had made more of the days leading up to Friday, as there was so much I would want to say and do. I should have realised there was something strange when he said he would pick me up at 10. Most normal people were half way through their date by then. But he suggested a lovely restaurant and he seemed to be known by the staff when we arrived so I relaxed.

We went to a club later and that's when I started to feel uneasy. I should have felt much more in control than I did as I had made sure not to drink to much. Again he was known in the club, but the people here were not as inviting as the restaurant staff. They seemed to be wary of him and some seemed to actively ignore his gaze.

We went to a private room and by now I have to admit things are a little hazy. I remember him telling me he would never hurt me. That what he was doing was for both of us. More worryingly he said that he had been planning it for a long time. I had only seen him for the first time a little over a week ago, yet he acted as if he had known me much longer.

The next thing I remember was other people being in the room. I recognised some, but was surprised to find they were dressed casually, and not in their party clothes as they had been earlier. A waiter from the restaurant was there, and he sat by my side. " I would have warned you if I had known " he said. "I am sorry this happened". I had blood on my clothes, and could not remember how it got there. When I found out, it was the most ridiculous thing I had heard.

He told me that Jason had lost control, and drank too much of my blood,. Normally he stopped and his dates just felt a little woozy, but on Friday night he could not stop. He then panicked and gave me some of his blood to compensate. As a result I was now "one of them"

I could not go home, or see family and friends as I used to. I could not go out in daylight, so I would have to give up my job. My life as I knew it had ended, and yet ironically my life like this would never end.

Jason came in and begged for forgiveness, and promised to look after me until I felt I could survive alone. I could not even think to be angry with him as I tried to take in everything I had lost.

He said it would be easier to move away and not be tempted to see and possibly harm the people I cared for.

We went to the house while it was still dark and collected up all the things I thought I could not live without - well not live but you know what I mean. I climbed into his car and we drove into the night. All the things I needed to know would be passed onto me the following night. For now it was just Jason and me, him stuck with someone he had not planned seeing again, and me crying over the life I had lost.

I wish I was just lying in bed and listening to the rain bounce up and down on the conservatory. I can no longer just snuggle under the duvet and be glad I was where I was. If the wind was swirling around the gardens it would make no difference. I would be out there myself - looking for my next feed.