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Bullying For Teens/Ways To Combat It
Who Are Bullies?
Bullies are people who are really insecure and are fearful they are inadequate (not enough just being themselves). They will try to pull you down mentally or physically to build themselves up. They can be found at your school (peers), work (co-workers, bosses) home (family members) or anybody you may come in contact with. That is why we must learn to deal with bullying effectively.
Reasons People Bully
People become bullies because they are jealous of you, unhappy, feel inadequate, and lack Godly knowledge (don't know this behavior is not pleasing to God). They scope you out by getting to know if you have low self-esteem or what your vulnerabilities are (your weaknesses, needs, helplessness). After getting to know what they are the bully will begin to harass you through your vulnerabilitiesto build their own confidence and may also use their size or social status to intimidate you as well. By pulling you down mentally to a level they believe to be beneath them makes them feel powerful or that they are a better person than you.
Important Information To Know About Being Bullied
It is important to know that when you are bullied by someone not to take it personal. Do not internalize what is being said or done ( don't let these acts intimidate you, allow you to become angry, or affect your self worth). If a person feels the need to bully you than the real problem lies within that person. There is a fear of some kind going on inside of this person (it could be they are jealous of you for some reason or any number of things).
There is something this person need to hide from others. Therefore, they want to put the focus on you in a negative way. Therefore, no one will notice their insecurities, short comings, weaknesses and faults really are. So, try to ignore them as much as you can. This person lacks Godly wisdom. Pray to God to give them wisdom and pray to God to give you strength and to guide you through this situation.
Let's Combat Bullying
When interacting with your peers or others show confidence in yourself (in your appearance, your abilities, and your intelligence). If you do not have natural confidence in who you are; you can build it by looking and acting as if you do. You should be well groomed by bathing, washing your hair, wearing clean and ironed clothing, brush your teeth, comb or brush your hair, stand and sit straight and look others in their eyes when speaking to them. When you begin to act this way you will soon build you confidence level. Don't be so open that others can see everything about you because once they figure out where you are weakest they can lure or bully you into negative situations and lifestyles.
Bullies sometimes bully you for your money, threaten you with violence, involve you in gossip, glamorize the use of drugs, try to entice you to sell or use drugs, or other negative acts. Bullies will bully you over the Internet (cyber-bullying). Should they communicate these acts over the Internet, make nasty remarks, tell lies or make threats. Do not respond to these acts and don't talk about these remarks to anyone other than telling a trusted adult, teacher or parent in private. Bullies sometimes believe you are from a low income home and cannot afford much, they may try to entice you by offering you money, food, clothes, jewelry, etc. Don' t fall for the bait. If you are approached by a bully be firm, confident, remain calm and just say "No, I am not interested in that" and walk away. If they approach you again just say "No" again with a confident demeanor.
Let it be known to your peers that you have adult supervision in your life even if you don't. You might ask your parent or guardian to be more visible at your school by picking you up and/or dropping you off from time-to-time, even visiting your school sometime. Perhaps your parents can work this into their work schedule. If they cannot maybe they can have another adult do this for them. If you ride the bus from school quietly let the driver know what is happening and sit closer to the driver then ask him or her to drop you off at a different stop from the bully. If this person attempt to get off with you, don't get off the bus go to another stop. When you arrive to school get into the school as fast as possible and be around adults as much as possible. This does not mean you are afraid it just means you want to avoid unnecessary trouble and that makes you the better person.
Remember to pray the "Lords Prayer" (Matt.6:10-14): Pray this prayer every night before going to bed or in the morning before going to school or both.
"Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be your name, your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven, Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors, and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours, now and forever. Pray this prayer every morning or night and at the end of each prayer say "Lord guide me through this situation that I am going through with this person that I may have victory; In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
The consequence for allowing yourself to fall prey to a bully or by accepting what they are offering is not worth the trouble it will cause to your life. Should you get involved in using drugs you could become addicted (which can cause all kinds of problems) or if you get involved in selling drugs you could serve time in prison or get killed. Either could cause you to get a criminal record which would hinder you from getting a grant to go college or the best jobs.
When you allow someone to lead you, it will give this person a feeling of power over you. The only persons should have power over you are God, your parents (if you are under age) and you.
If You Are A Bully
If you are a bully you must stop this behavior now. This behavior does not make you the bigger, stronger, or better person. This is a false sense of power. You must realize that you are acting out of fear of being insecure about something. Perhaps of not being enough in some area of you life. Know that you are enough just as you are. Ask yourself "Why am I bringing grief to this person's life?" This will allow you to sole search your life and find the true motive (reason) for this behavior towards others. You do not have to manipulate another into doing things that may cause harm or hindrance to their life. This will only cause harm and hindrance to your own life, eventually. Bullying shows you to be the weaker person, because people that are secure with who they are do not need vulnerable (weaker) people to make them feel powerful, popular or special. Real security and power comes with knowing we are all God's children and he loves us all dearly and will provide and protect each of us from those that are evil and unfair situations.
You should not tease people that do not look or act like you. The world is made of many people that dress differently, have different cultures, lifestyles and handicaps. There are various things that make us different. However, these differences does not give anyone the right to dishonor another in any way. God did not make us all look the same, but he made us all unique (different) and perfect according to his will. We must learn to accept one another for who we are and embrace our differences. We do not have to be-friend everyone, but we can be respectful of other's cultures and lifestyles. Teasing hurt others feeling (especially when one is teased constantly). It is important to know that whatever you are being critical about towards another does not make you better than that person in God's eyes. God wants us to love one another in spite of our differences.
When you have feelings of insecurity or fear you should not act out by bullying or teasing others, instead pray the "Lords Prayer" (Matt.6:10-14): Pray this prayer every night before going to bed or in the morning or both.
"Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be your name, your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven, Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors, and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours, now and forever.
At the end of your prayer say "Lord strengthen me where I am weak," - then tell him where you are weak. Always end your prayer with "In Jesus name I pray, Amen."