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How to Help Your Mom With Her Computer Issues

Updated on December 1, 2017
Light some candles....do some "ooooms"
Light some candles....do some "ooooms"
Magical button?
Magical button?

Instructions

  1. Take a few deep breaths.
  2. Do an hour of meditation.
  3. Get a glass of wine/beer/alcohol of choice.


One of the most stressful things I went through this holiday season was trying to get my mom set up on her webcam. She lives 900 miles away, and it's become a tradition to get on Christmas morning and say "Hi" and chat.

So, she's done this before, I assumed she would have some idea what she was doing.

And that was my first mistake.

Well, they just got a brand new computer a few months ago, and trust me, they need it. BAD. I was there in August, and checking email was a 20 minute chore.

So RIP old computer. If I had been there, I would have gone gangster on you, "Office Space" style.

Anyway, the computer guy that helped them set this up installed Skype. I don't use Skype. My parents have never used Skype either.

Yay.

But I figured, ok I can install Skype...it will be easier than walking them through a download of MSN messenger, which is what they used on their old computer.

One tinny, tiny problem. My mom couldn't remember the password to Skype.

Here's our phone conversation:

ME:"Mom, didn't you write it down?"

MOM:"Uh no...there was so much going on while the computer guy was here...I don't know what it would be."

ME:"Did you request a password retrival?"

MOM: "Uh. Yes? I think so?"

ME: "Ok, it should be in your email."

MOM:"That's just it, I requested it and never got it. They must have been busy or something."

ME:"Ok...is it in your junk folder."

MOM: "Maybe?"

I asked her to check several times, and she either thought: a) daughter doesn't know what she's talking about or b)the junk folder is too scary, no way I'm checking there! What ever she thought, she kept evading my advice, so I gave up on that issue.

Plan B: Install MSN Messenger. So, I started to walk her through the process.

ME: "Ok, Mom, enter your hotmail address."

MOM: "Ok." clickclickclick. "Uh...it's says it's invalid."

ME: Deep breath. "Ok, what was the address you entered?"

MOM: "My email address."

ME: "Yes, but exactly what is that?"

She rattles off her Microsoft Office email address, which is obviously NOT a hotmail address. At this point I realize it would be quicker to walk the 900 miles than have this video chat.

ME: "Mom, you need to enter your hotmail address."

MOM: "My...what?"

bangbangbang (sound of head hitting table repeatedly)

MOM: "What was that?"

ME: "Oh, nothing Mom. Can you please tell me your hotmail email address? It would have @hotmail.com at the end of it?"

MOM: "Oh..."

Eventually we figure out her hotmail address, and I start to think we are making progress.

ME: "GREAT. Now, what's your password?"

MOM: "Uh...I don't remember that."

Now, I don't normally drink around the kids, and I never drink on Christmas morning, but what the hey. I figure this is a great time to start a new tradition.

chugchugchug. ahhh.

MOM: "What was that?"

ME: "Uh...soda, Mom. Drinking some soda."

MOM: "I thought you didn't like soda."

I'm thinking: Great, Mom, you remembered that I don't care for soda. Now please try to remember your password!

I know the password isn't going to be something simple like "123" or the cat's name, because my parents are scared to death of hackers. It will be something like Roy Roger's middle name or some other random retro thing I would never guess.

THEN my mother says, in her very nonchalant voice, "Oh, I think I found the password for Skype." clickclickclick. "I'm online now."

chugchugchug

MOM:"Dear, you shouldn't drink so fast...it'll give you the hiccups."

Nom,nom,nom...tastes like Tandy!
Nom,nom,nom...tastes like Tandy!

So what I have learned from this experience?

  • Be Patient: For my generation and younger, it's really difficult to remember a world without computers. Most of us grew up with some kind of PC in the house (my first one was a Tandy 2000 from Radio Shack). We have had our whole lives to adjust and adapt to technology. However, the baby boomers and older generations still marvel about color tvs and cell phones. Cut them some slack.
  • Clarify: Don't assume they know what you are talking about when you ask for an email address or other kind of techie information. It may seem condescending, but really, they have little or no clue what you are talking about, so be as specific and simple as possible.
  • Careful who you marry: I married a IT guy. My parents think he knows EVERYTHING about computers, including all the software glitches that go with them. They are constantly emailing him with questions, most of which he needs to be there to solve. Which brings me to my next point...
  • Try to do it in person: If you live in driving distance, save yourself a lot of wine and head banging. Trust me, you are speaking Greek to them and trying to explain to them on the phone will just get everyone frustrated. Going to the house will solve the problem quickly, and your parents will think you're Merlin. "How the heck did he do that? Ethel, our son is a magician! He cured that devil box and now we won't get those darn pop-ins anymore." "Pop-UPS, Dad." "Huh? Yeah, that's what I said...poptarts!"
  • Don't argue. Just as much as you think you're right, they think they are just as right. In other words, if they just don't get or accept what you are saying, move on. Try another approach. They are your parents; they are entitled to think they know more than you.
  • Suggest websites: When they have troubleshooting questions on their software, I refer them to the software's troubleshooting website. They may not be tech savvy, but they can still read as well as I can.

Good luck! Oh, and keep a glass of wine on hand, just in case.

And Mom, if you are reading this, I love you very much. You still can sew circles around me. Being computer savvy isn't everything!

And no, I wasn't really drinking when I was talking to you. Honest.






Comments

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    • hecate-horus profile imageAUTHOR

      hecate-horus 

      5 years ago from Rowland Woods

      The lack of antenna made me laugh! Oh, you got to love them, bless their hearts. They are trying. Thanks for stopping by, A.A. Zavala!

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 

      5 years ago from Texas

      HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHA!

      My dad and mom WORE ME OUT on computer issues. They tend to overspend on computer stuff, so I try to get them what they need before they try to buy it. One time my dad had internet issues, and told me that the reason is becuase there was no antenna on the monitor. Thank you for sharing.

    • hecate-horus profile imageAUTHOR

      hecate-horus 

      6 years ago from Rowland Woods

      Thanks for your comments ,Joaniebaby! I obviously don't know everything about computers and my husband will tend to get a bit frustrated with me too. Sometimes I wish I had gone into the IT field. :)

    • hecate-horus profile imageAUTHOR

      hecate-horus 

      6 years ago from Rowland Woods

      Thank you, Glimmer Twin Fan! When we visit my parents, my dear husband will spend hours updating and tweeking their computer. But trying to explain via phone, he doesn't even bother. I can understand why!

    • hecate-horus profile imageAUTHOR

      hecate-horus 

      6 years ago from Rowland Woods

      Thanks so much, Aviannovice!

    • joaniebaby profile image

      joaniebaby 

      6 years ago

      Voted up and funny. This reminds me of some conversations I have had with my son who is an IT tech with a large company in Madison, WI. (I can just see his head hitting the table too.) Even though I have been using a computer for some 30 years, I still don't quite understand what he is trying to tell me when I ask for some complicated help! One of his favorite sayings to me is: "Mom you know what I mean." And this is the same son who introduced me to Hubpages some five months ago!!

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Claudia Mitchell 

      6 years ago

      Awesome and funny! Going to share this because this hits me right on the money. Luckily my husband is extremely patient and he works in computers so every time my wonderful mom calls about computer problems I just tell her to hold on and pass the phone to him. I can just feel my tension grow when I try and explain something to her and I am absolutely not a computer person. What a great hub!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      6 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      This was so amusingly done, and immediately put a smile on my face with the wit! Up and awesome.

    • hecate-horus profile imageAUTHOR

      hecate-horus 

      6 years ago from Rowland Woods

      Thanks Janine Huldie! I love my parents dearly, and I really try to keep my frustration in check. Just like you, I'm from the old school of respecting my parents. :)

    • hecate-horus profile imageAUTHOR

      hecate-horus 

      6 years ago from Rowland Woods

      Thanks for stopping by, TToombs08! I'm not an advocate for drinking to solve problems, but in this case...but honestly, I really didn't drink during the conversation. That was used as "embellishment" to help along the humor. Gee, now I wonder...will I get flagged for that?

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 

      6 years ago from New York, New York

      I have had to help both parents on teaching them computer basics. My mom has been the easier one so to speak. My dad is more old school and very stubborn. So I quite enjoyed reading your article, because with my dear old dad your first line said it all, "Take a few breaths and have patience!" Seriously with him I needed all I could get, but I love him and tried very hard to be as patient as possible. Seriously loved this and have voted and shared too!!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 

      6 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      lol! I never had to help my folks, but I did used to have to help members of the older generation input and submit their credit card reports for a company I used to work for. I was in Alaska and they were in Washington DC. Each call was a minimum of an hour. I should have just recorded it and played it each month when they called because it was the SAME conversation each month. This brought back some memories of those talks...minus the alcohol...that would have made things SO much easier! :)

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