How To Lose A Long Talker

We've all been there. At work, a social function, or it could be the grocery store, you turn the corner and Well Heyyyy!! How are youuuu??? Crap! These long talkers are everywhere.

Sometimes I wonder how they ever get anything done. At work they're talking, leaving work, talking, on the way home, bluetooth talking. How many words does it take to say nothing? A lot. I've already written about how I have trouble paying attention, but with a long talker it's nearly impossible to stay on track.

Let me say this, I like talking to people and catching up, this article is about those people you see and know you've lost an hour of the day the second you say hello.

Anyway, to deal with these fanatics of the spoken word it takes a certain skill. A skill I believe I possess. My wife gets on me because I want to just turn around and walk away mid dreadful conversation.(Yes, I am aware that I behave like a ten year old) This is frowned upon in today's society. So I've listed a few subtle and a few not so subtle ways to get out of a talk fest...

The old cell phone trick - Cell phones can come in handy. You can just pull it out and look at it. Rude? Yes, but effective. You can pretend it was on vibrate I have to take this, sorry! You may just get lucky and your Mother will call.

Pretend that you didn't see them- This can only work if the talker hasn't already sucked you in. This is your only chance. Look down or away, maybe even run. You have something of extreme importance pending. Don't acknowledge them, keep going!

Fake a coughing fit - I've done this one, and it can work if performed correctly. While the talker is yapping on and on about Dancing With The Stars, just start coughing wildly, hunch over and go all out. Nobody wants to catch that. Who's to say you're not deathly ill?

Fake a rash - If the coughing doesn't work, and there's a chance it won't, time for plan B. Start scratching incessantly at your neck. Then you can move to your stomach...or even other places. I must warn you this could backfire. The long talker could get worried about you. This could lead into another painful conversation about their doctor or family members with scabies. Tread lightly.

Grab someone, anyone. - If you're out in public and run into a long talker, just act like the next person that walks by is a dear old friend. Oh My Gosh, It's been years!!! Hopefully the LT will get the hint and move on.

Stare over their shoulder - Another one I've tried, just stare over the long talker's shoulder, kind of off in the distance. You can even try the advance method which involves looking everywhere but the speaker. Wow, just look at that wall, sure needs paint. In most cases the talker will realize they are boring you to death. Sure it's rude, but you've got things to do, right?

Yell Fire - A drastic move, yet highly effective. Start screaming fire, this commotion is sure to get you off the hook. There may be consequences involved, but at least you're not standing there listening to the talker go on and on about low fat coffee creamer!

These methods may not be the best way to handle adult situations, but they will work. Some are bold, others childish, but measures have to be taken. You have work to do, or people to see. It's your time and it's important.

No matter which route you decide on, do not go head to head with a long talker. You may be feeling a little spunky that day, and think you can out talk this talker. Not going to happen, an hour later you are disoriented and the rest of your day is shot. Good luck!