ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

'How To Survive The Loss Of A Love': A Book Review.

Updated on April 06, 2012
donotfear profile image

Annette Sharp holds a BAAS in Behavioral Science from Texas A&M. She is a counselor and motivator with an empathetic heart.

A Healing Book

This outstanding, healing book of survival is co-authored by Harold Bloomfield, M.D., a psychological educator, Peter McWilliams, author/poet, and Melba Colgrove, PhD, a scholar in the areas of literature and counseling, to name a few.

The book is a healing tool. The words create a shovel of relief to dig out your innermost grief. You come face to face with your own turmoil in a way that's deeply moving. It allows you to hold your loss closely and feel it for what it really is.

This collection of prose,  a natural flow of words and tenderness, is the most healing book I've ever read.

Types of Loss

The book covers the various types of losses a person experiences: obvious losses, like the breakup of a love affair or marriage; not so obvious losses, like illness or drastic changes in your life; loss related to age, like growing old or feeling 'empty nest syndrome'; and limbo losses, like a partner leaving suddenly or not knowing the 'is it or isn't it' in a situation. 

The prose also describes inevitable losses, like facing death or the realization that a loss is about to take place.  Each loss is described in a way that is easy to understand and deeply moving, making you feel like the writing is directed specifically at you.

The Stages of Recovery

How to Survive the Loss of a Love touches on the stages of recovery when one is getting over a loss. These stages are:

Shock, denial, and numbness.

Fear, anger and depression.

Understanding, acceptance, and moving on.

Counselors and psychologists agree that these stages are real and necessary to fully recover from a loss.  There's no set order in which the stages take place.  Some people bounce around from one stage to another, feeling extreme anger to despair to relief in one day.  

There's no set time period etched in stone of how long it takes someone to recover.  Each of us has our own unique system of dealing with loss.  This book reveals it in a touching manner, allowing the reader to experience each emotion in a clarifying realization that the loss-feelings are normal and natural.

Encouragement for the Soul

The book offers encouragement and uplifting reminders that we're only human. Each emotion we feel is not wrong, in fact, each sentiment is necessary to recover and move on. Reminding us that we're not alone in our grief and that it's okay to feel the pain, the healing words support the fact that it's also helpful to be with the pain. The expressions in the book lead us to the knowledge that we, ourselves, are wonderful! We deserve to take time to heal.

Understanding the Loss

In addition to building and encouraging us, the words in this book remind us that healing has it's ups and downs. We may feel recovered one day, but sad and defeated the next. This is part of the healing process and perfectly natural.

The book articulates and models new coping skills for recovery. It suggests reminding yourself that things won't always feel this bad and, most importantly, take care of yourself! The book suggests breathing deeply, getting plenty of rest, and staying on schedule to promote your body's ability to handle the loss. In addition, the book maintains," trying to minimize making big decisions and remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes."

In Summary

The suggestions and tools in this book are communicated in a way that makes the reader feel as if the authors wrote the words especially for him/her. It's not boring, lengthy, or hard to understand. The best way to describe How to Survive the Loss of a Love is summed up in the text itself:

"I must be happy with myself
or I have
nothing
to offer.

Two halves have
little choice
but to
join,
and yes,
they do
make a
whole.

but two
wholes,
when they coincide. . .

that is
beauty.

that is
love."


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • DTroth profile image

      Diana Owens 5 years ago from My Little Hole In The Wall, HubPages, USA

      Great review. I think I may have to get this book...for a few different reasons, or should I say, "losses."

      Thanks for sharing, DoNotFear. You're much appreciated.

      Voted UP, useful and awesome.

      may peace be in your heart...always,

      Diana

    • donotfear profile image
      Author

      donotfear 5 years ago from The Boondocks

      Thanks Diana! I love this book.

    • Jlava73 profile image

      Jennifer Vasconcelos 5 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

      Nice review!

    • susanlang profile image

      susanlang 5 years ago

      Good review my friend! ;)

    • donotfear profile image
      Author

      donotfear 5 years ago from The Boondocks

      Thanks everybody!

    • Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

      Ian D Hetri 4 years ago from Papua New Guinea

      A wonderful review. The bookl sounds a must read for me. I strongly relate to this book as I am also nursing the loss of my hero, friend, mentor and dad.

      When my dad tragically passed away in 2007, I was in college, getting ready to sit for my final year exam. It was the toughest choice I had ever made. To give up school and return to mum or complete my college years and get my degree. I was caught in the middle, torn and dreams shattered.

      One thing I would surely find useful in this book, which I did, was to accept the loss, understand it and move. You really cant wake the dead up don't you? So I accepted it.

      Its really painful as you said but time is a healer. But make an effort to heal. If you don't, you wont heal. It is very unhealhty to punish yourself with something you cant change. Death is death and birth is birth, naturally programmed to occur at their own timming. See it this way.

      Back to the hub, I enjoyed the way you reviewed tha book. I also do reviews of books but enjoy how others do theirs. Yours is a good one. I like it when the review comes from the reviewer, not the author of the book. As a matter of fact, some book review lives you wonderingwho reviewed it, the author of the book itself or a different reviewer like you and me.

      Great hub and great review. I am definitely looking for this book.

    • donotfear profile image
      Author

      donotfear 4 years ago from The Boondocks

      Thanks Ian!!

    • profile image

      art4life 2 years ago

      Great hub dear friend

      I will be looking for this book

      hugs

    • donotfear profile image
      Author

      donotfear 2 years ago from The Boondocks

      Thanks!!!

    Click to Rate This Article