How to Cause a Big Scene Out in Public
Bring On the Drama!
Have you ever wanted people to stop and stare at you out in public? Have you ever wished people would start whispering to each other about you? Do you enjoy getting angry glares? Do you like being escorted out of public places by security guards or police officers? Well, have I got some advice for you! Keep reading to learn more about how to cause a big scene out in public.
Some people are natural drama queens or scene stealers. To those of us who are not, but we will still want to get all the attention, it is time to explore some new strategies. Check it out!
Wear Something Ridiculous
Do you like feathers and sequins? No? Well, you should! The more sparkly and feathery, the better. Can you find a feather boa? Embrace it! Take it everywhere you go. Remember to wear bold colors - the bolder the better. If it is hot outside, don't let that stop you from wearing tall black boots. Just throw some shorts on with it and it will be OK. Never forget to wear your thong as high as possible so the public can see it above your low-rise jeans. If possible, get a sparkly thong!
You know what makes a great fashion accessory? A small dog! Get a big purse and put a dog in it. Make sure to dress the dog in something outlandish, too. When going in stores, pretend you don't realize there are rules against dogs. Make sure to flaunt the dog, and look for compliments and attention that way. If anyone makes a negative comment about the dog, start yelling about how he must go wherever you go. If they kick you out, make sure to yell or cry while leaving.
In general, this is a great attention grabber. Make sure to bring some friends with you and start a random fight about nothing. It helps if someone accuses another person of being fat or trying to steal a boyfriend. From there, begin a big, ugly riot-like fight. If more than one friend can start crying - SCORE! Everyone anywhere nearby is going to stop and stare. Make sure to scream a lot. The more creative the profanity, the better.
Perhaps your friends won't go out in public with you anymore. Don't let that stop you from being a drama queen. Call someone on the cell phone and start a loud fight out in public. OK, so none of your friends will pick up the phone anymore either? That is OK. Leave some loud, whiny messages on their voicemail and burst into tears. Perfect!
Drink Too Much
What better way to make a scene than to get drunk and be foolish? So why not get a group of people and hit the clubs? Even if the club scene is not for you, go out to a bar instead. Maybe you can just simply crash a party. Nothing creates a big scene more than crashing a party.
Once you are out in public, it is time to start the party. Make sure to drink more than you can handle. When you start to get out of hand, drink more. If you begin slurring your words, that is even better. The key to creating a scene now is either picking a fight for no reason or being a disgusting, annoying flirt. Either way you are going to get some attention.
To top off the evening, it would be great if you started to vomit. If you really want to make a scene, throw up on a person. If you are trying to maintain some sense of dignity (what - why are you're reading this then?) you may opt to just vomit outside or in a potted plant. That will be just enough to make the evening special for all the spectators.
Throw a Tantrum
When all else fails, throw a tantrum. This works no matter where you go. If you don't have the nerve to throw the tantrum, take a small child with you. Eventually, the child will freak out for you (they all do) and it will cause a big scene. Here are some great locations for a tantrum:
- Grocery Stores
- The Pool
- The Park
- Amusement Parks
- Bowling Alleys
- Chuck E. Cheese
- Toy Stores
- The Mall
Once a child starts throwing a tantrum, it is a perfect time to get into an argument with another adult. This is a great time to fight about parenting skills or a lack of parenting skills. If the argument somehow ends with a slamming door, even better!
Time to Create a Scene
I hope you've enjoyed these easy instructions on how to cause a big scene out in public. Now that you've read this, I am sure you are ready to run out the door right now and find a public place so you can act foolish. So go out, be an embarrassment, and make some new cop friends now. The world awaits you and your drama!