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How to Tag & Bag Any Man Using Astrology

Updated on June 20, 2011


Astrology, is it a science or a bunch of hogwash? Perhaps you see it as just a vicarious thrill and there's no harm in reading your own horoscope on a daily basis.

For me, astrology has always been somewhat of a hobby. My shelves are lined with various tomes on the subject and my prized possession is a rather dog-eared copy of Linda Goodman's "Sun Signs" which I've had for nearly three decades. While I make no claims to being an expert astrologist, I have upon occasion given friends a more expanded view of their natal chart or a compatibility analysis of their current relationship when requested to do so.

This hub was inspired by an innocent, or not so innocent, conversation with some of my favorite hub-friends. At first, it seemed a cut and dried topic...a tongue in cheek look at astrological signs as they applied to men and how they could be used by women for their benefit. Unfortunately, the more I wrote, the more I wanted to know (which is quite typical for a hobbyist) and before I knew it, the entire hub had expanded into a monster that I could barely fit a cage around.

I'd like to acknowledge one particular source that unwittingly aided and abetted this hub. If astrology is your thing and you'd like to learn more, I encourage you to check out this website: Loonsounds Astro Humor.

Also, the wonderful good/bad images were provided courtesy of Clayboys, Inc. If you have enjoyed the artist's work as much as I have, drop by and say hello at www.clayboys.com or drop a line to theboys@clayboys.com.

Now...let's have some fun!

Aries

The Ram
The Ram
Good Aries
Good Aries
Bad Aries
Bad Aries

Aries Male 101

Aries (3/21 - 4/20): There is a reason why this sign is considered the child of the zodiac...and most men born under this sign will behave like children. Keeping in mind that Aries is a cardinal sign AND a fire element it is not surprising that this man can try the patience of a lot of women. If you happen to like your men on the immature side and don't mind indulging in their constant "look at me" behavior, then you will get along fabulously with your little he-sheep. The perk of being with an Aries man is that life will never be dull. They need constant stimulation, mentally and physically, or they will sulk and become morose. Luckily, they aren't very difficult to entice into an adventure and you'll enjoy it every bit as much as they do. Just remember that acknowledgement of their enjoyment is more important than yours.

Aries Prayer: "Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!"

How many Aries does it take to change a lightbulb? "Just one. You want to make something of it?"

Aries Daily Affirmation: "I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws."

What an Aries says after sex: "Okay, let's do it again."

How to Bag & Tag

Coo over him and make a big fuss. Show him all of your bright, shiny interesting gadgets and then try not to lose your temper if he happens to take one apart and loses interest before he puts it back together again. Don't even hint that the world doesn't revolve around him.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Be a mouse grabber. Never follow their lead. Keep a steady dialogue with all of your exes. Fool with their hair after they just fixed it. Forget their birthday. Try to order them around.

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

You find yourself alone, standing amidst blowing dust and flecks, strips of black tire tracks, heavy gasoline fumes, and very little else. Slowly, slowly, the sound of the roaring engine recedes, thundering silence taking its place.

Taurus

Taurus the Bull
Taurus the Bull
Good Taurus
Good Taurus
Bad Taurus
Bad Taurus

Taurus Male 101

 

Taurus (4/21 - 5/21): The symbolic figure of this astrological sign is the bull...probably because the Democrats had already taken the donkey. A Tauren is simply put the most stubborn and pigheaded male in the entire zodiac. The more you push, the deeper he will dig in those hooves and nothing you can do will change his mind...except for feminine charm. Taurens are suckers for creature comforts...whether it's food, a cozy home or an enveloping hug. They are generally good-natured, sentimental at heart and prone to romantic gestures once their needs have been met.

A Tauren's Prayer: "Dear God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET."

How many Taurens does it take to change a light bulb? One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

A Tauren's Daily Affirmation: "Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot."

What a Tauren says after sex: "I'm hungry - pass the pizza."

How to Bag & Tag

Feed him a home-cooked meal, tuck him into a warm cozy bed and assure him that he is completely in charge and doesn't have to go to sleep if he doesn't want to. You just wanted him to be comfortable.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Acquire some credit cards by placing their name first on the application. Don't tell. Sit in their chair. Hide/eat all the sweets in the house. Insist on joint accounts. Refuse to sign a prenup.

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

You offer extravagant food, they say they've lost their appetite and when you turn away from them in bed, they just turn away from you in the opposite direction (instead of poking you with their horns). Taurus: Either they're all over you, or they're gone.

Gemini

Gemini the Twins
Gemini the Twins
Good Gemini
Good Gemini
Bad Gemini
Bad Gemini

Gemini Male 101

Gemini (5/22 - 6/21): Meet the zodiac's original multi-tasker. He can bury his nose in the computer so deeply that you would swear he didn't hear a word you just said. Do yourself a favor and don't challenge him though...it's insulting. Not only has he heard everything you have said, he's also processed it in his usual rational manner and has come up with a solution to your problem...even if you were just commenting on the weather. Unfortunately, unless you are a completely rational woman (and let's face it...not many are), his advice will usually fall far short of the mark of what you consider to be normal for most humans. But understand...this man isn't really human...he's more of a machine.

A Gemini's Prayer: "Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...Who are you?...What are you?.....Where are You?.....How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!"

How many Geminis does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the job never gets done - they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

A Gemini's Daily Affirmation: "I am at one with my duality."

What a Gemini says after sex: "Have you seen the TV remote?"

How to Bag & Tag

This man will fall for a human puzzle...so be enigmatic. He's not threatened in the least by your intelligence, so don't be afraid to use it. Ignoring him will also work as he really hates to be ignored

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Don't let them get a word in edgewise. Regarding gossip, make it clear that you are "above it all." Be Possessive. Get call waiting and put them on hold. Avoid sexual experimenting.

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

You hear it from a friend who heard it from another, who over-heard it from a third (who, not realizing that he/she was on speaker phone), discussed his/her opinion on the latest gossip which he/she picked up vis-a-vis the MMORG you used to play together.

Cancer

Cancer the Crab
Cancer the Crab
Good Cancer
Good Cancer
Bad Cancer
Bad Cancer

Cancer Male 101

Cancer (6/22 - 7/21): And now we bump right into our first truly emotional sign. Oh sure, he has you fooled doesn't he? There is no way this man could be all smooshy deep down because he's downright sarcastic and cantankerous, right? Wrong. He's so squishy inside that he has to wear that nearly impenetrable shell to keep people from taking advantage of his tender bits. A Cancerian male loves food and usually you'll find him in the kitchen or at the very least knowing the best places to dine. Unfortunately, being a Cancerian male also increases the likelihood of him being a mama's boy. Unless his mother was somebody like Lizzie Borden, you'll never be half the woman that his sainted mother is or was. Don't even try to argue with him on this point...because if it's a choice between you and Mom...you might be packing your toothbrush.

A Cancerian's Prayer: "Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners."

How many Cancerians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

A Cancerian's Daily Affirmation: "I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain."

What a Cancerian says after sex: "When are we getting married?"

How to Bag & Tag

Show him your photo album or year book...or even better, let him show you his. Then if it seems to be working...invite his mother to have dinner with the two of you. You'll never get rid of him if you follow this advice, so be careful. Cancerians can be rather clingy and are apt to stalk you.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Be rude to their mother's face. Never laugh. Insist on having it done your way in the kitchen. Be moodier than they are. Sabotage their family reunion. Chip away at their nest egg.

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

You become a strict vegan, and they say nothing about it. Weeks later you cut yourself badly while cooking your own veggie plate dinner. When you cry out and show them jets of blood, they look up from their call with mom just long enough to say "Oh. Bummer".

Leo

Leo the Lion
Leo the Lion
Good Leo
Good Leo
Bad Leo
Bad Leo

Leo Male 101

Leo (7/22 - 8/22): Just as the lion is the king of the jungle, so Leo is the benevolent ruler of the zodiac. Like the Tauren, Leo men tend to be big ol' teddy bears when content. When they aren't content, be prepared for a lot of moping and wounded looks that will make you feel guilty as hell. Leos love to spoil their women, even more than they love to spoil themselves...which is saying a lot. Leos love the finer things in life and will only want the best. They love to be the center of attention and will literally and figuratively always be found basking proudly in the limelight of their success. However, keep in mind that their display of ego is usually well-earned.

A Leo's Prayer: "Hi, Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your kid!"

How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo to do the job for them while they're out.

A Leo's Daily Affirmation: I say nice things about myself. I do nice things for myself. I find someone to buy me nice things.

What a Leo says after sex: "Wasn't I fantastic?"

How to Bag & Tag

Act helpless and damsel-like. Leo men love to feel needed...it makes them feel all heroic and masculine. Once "rescued"...be prepared to show some gratitude. Luckily, Leo men are very easy to please. Stroke their ego, reassure them that you could not imagine the world without their presence and you'll have him purring in no time at all.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Laugh at them instead of with them. Yawn when they are talking (don't cover your mouth.) Criticize their hair, then say you are only kidding. Remove all the mirrors. Majorly outshine them.

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

They perform a colorful skit for you wherein they portray themselves as the hero/ine who tried, and failed, to ‘make it work' . They then flounce off with several of their long time admirers from the audience, leaving you clapping as they go.

Virgo

Virgo the Virgin
Virgo the Virgin
Good Virgo
Good Virgo
Bad Virgo
Bad Virgo

Virgo Male 101

Virgo (8/23 - 9/22): If you long for a life where everything is organized, then a Virgo man is tailor made for you. Virgo men value consistency above all else and will have a contingency plan for any event. Check their cupboards or medicine cabinets if you doubt me. Unfortunately, sometimes their nit-picky ways can be rather aggravating to some women. He won't understand why you are upset and trying to explain it to him will be met with a rather perplexed look. Obviously you are having one of your irrational womanly type moments. This sign also has more than its fair share of hypochondriacs and pessimists...so beware.

A Virgo's Prayer: "Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw it up like you did the last time."

How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

A Virgo's Daily Affirmation: "I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me."

What a Virgo says after sex: "I need to wash the sheets."

How to Bag & Tag

Chasteness and helpless disorganization. Virgo men don't usually go for the promiscuous type of women because they prefer quality over quantity. Ask them for advice on how to get more control of your life, your finances, your stock portfolio, your car's engine performance, the best cough medicine to use and then listen attentively. Whatever you do...do not ask for help with anything that is emotionally messy. He'll run...possibly in a state of complete panic.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsound)

Criticize them. Be extremely vague. Continue to have sex, but don't let them satisfy you. Blow your nose often, scattering used tissues all around the house. Call them at their job to chat.

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

They drive you to a new apartment, give you the key. Inside you find it post-it notes stuck on every mirror, cabinet and appliance, each containing mind numbingly detailed details; recommendations on your life. When you glance out the window they're gone

Libra

Libra the Scales
Libra the Scales
Good Libra
Good Libra
Bad Libra
Bad Libra

Libra Male 101

Libra (9/23 - 10/22): Balance and harmony are what Libra men are all about. They appreciate beautiful things and while that might sound intimidating, understand that they don't always subscribe to the popular idea of beauty. In their opinion, only they can fairly judge what is beautiful and what is not. Libra men thrive in peaceful environments, so if you are a shrew...forget it. Nothing will turn off this man quicker than a woman screeching in his ear or nagging about what is to him an inconsequential matter. Libra men are great at rationalizing everything...even your emotions, which might actually cause you to scream...but don't. Libra men are notorious for being fickle, possibly an unavoidable side effect of their natural charm and charisma.

A Libran's Prayer: "Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?"

How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb? Er, two. Or maybe one. No - on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

A Libran's Daily Affirmation: "To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting."

What a Libran says after sex: "I liked it if you liked it."

How to Bag & Tag

Ask him out. No other sign appreciates a direct approach more than a Libra. But beware...if you ask him out to dinner and the meal sucks, he'll point out that it was your choice. Don't be offended...he can't help himself. Besides, he'll say it with one of those patented charming smiles on his face and you'll forgive him.

How to Get Rid of HIm (Loonsounds)

On your paired outings, gawk at other babes/dudes. Rant when they talk about their exes. Women: fart and belch a lot. Men: Scatter your soiled tighty whiteys (inside out) & miss the toilet

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

They pen you a lovely thank you/apology note on their personal monogrammed stationary about all of the beautiful times they had with you ‘back iin the day.' It will arrive in your mailbox two days after they moved out, tucked into their wedding invitation.

Scorpio

Scorpio the scorpion
Scorpio the scorpion
Good Scorpio
Good Scorpio
Bad Scorpio
Bad Scorpio

Scorpio Male 101

Scorpio (10/23 - 11/21): Everyone has heard something about the sexual mystique of this astrological sign. It's true. Scorpio men are passionate to the point of excess...in everything they do. However, unlike other signs, they have an unnerving amount of self-control over their passions...which is probably what makes them so attractive. Scorpio men are ego personified. They feel they are superior and in some cases this might be justified, hence they usually can be seen with a rather smug, amused look on their faces and a bit of a strut to their walk. Never toy with a Scorpio...ever. Not only will you lose, but you'll probably need a fire extinguisher to put out the flames that just engulfed your ass. However, if you like to play with fire...as I do...a Scorpio man can be very challenging and fun.

A Scorpio's Prayer: "Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards don't deserve it."

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

A Scorpio's Daily Affirmation: "I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia."

What a Scorpio says after sex: "Perhaps I should untie you now."

How to Bag & Tag

Throw down the gauntlet. Scorpios love a challenge. Once you have managed to catch his attention, make him chase you around a bit before letting him win. I don't mean running around the coffee table a few times...even though later he might enjoy that, I mean mentally and emotionally...allow him to think he is manipulating everything to get closer to you. He doesn't ever need to know that he's walked right into your trap. Trust me...it's one secret you want to keep to yourself. Scorpios can get downright nasty when they find out that it wasn't them pulling the strings.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Stop hiding things. Tell them you are renouncing sex for Lent or call them by the wrong name during sex. Make unilateral decisions on everything. Always be late. And you drive. Period.

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

You come home and your keys don’t work. When you try to break in the police come and arrest you for violation of a restraining order you didn’t know existed. From jail you receive an autographed copy of their new scandalous publication namely, The Unauthorized Biography of You.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius the Archer
Sagittarius the Archer
Good Sagittarius
Good Sagittarius
Bad Sagittarius
Bad Sagittarius

Sagittarius Male 101

Sagittarius (11/23 – 12/21): If there was ever a knight in shining armor in the zodiac, Sagittarius would be it. Unfortunately, they’re more like Don Quixote than Sir Lancelot. They pick the strangest causes…usually the lost ones…to fight for. Sagittarian men are brutally honest. If they tell you that you need to lose a few pounds because you are starting to look like a heifer, they will be completely baffled about why you are offended. It’s just the truth…geesh. You can usually recognize a Sagittarian male by the fact that he usually has at least one foot stuffed into his mouth at all times. However, on the flip side…there is a lot to be said for honesty. They just don’t understand the word tact.

A Sagittarian’s Prayer: "OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING, ALL-LOVING, ALL-POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES --- HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!"

How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb? The sun is shining, the day is young and we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light bulb?

A Sagittarian’s Daily Affirmation: “I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.”

What a Sagittarian says after sex: “Don't call me - I'll call you.”

How to Bag & Tag

Be smart and give him lots of room. Sagittarian men need lots of space to explore and feed their endless curiosity. Don’t be jealous of his natural tendency to talk to complete strangers…everybody interests him. Once he’s realized that you aren’t going to hobble him, he’ll hand you his leash…albeit a very long leash.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Cry whenever they are painfully honest. Threaten suicide on their cell while they are overseas. Take the only vehicle, then stay out all night. Hide their keys. Make them to-do lists

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

You no longer fit into your own bed because they let all their dogs growl and snap at you when you try to sneak in. Later when you ‘mistakenly’ glance in their suitcase, you see a 12 pack of condoms (you don’t use them) and the book:Breaking Up for Dummies..

Capricorn

Capricorn the Goat
Capricorn the Goat
Good Capricorn
Good Capricorn
Bad Capricorn
Bad Capricorn

Capricorn Male 101

Capricorn (12/22 – 1/20): Once again we have a man that prefers quality over quantity. There will be women he may toy with, but there is a difference between those women and the one he will introduce to his family and friends. Image is everything to the Capricorn man. He considers himself upwardly mobile…socially, financially, emotionally. He will never tolerate a woman that drags him down. On the outside, he may appear a taciturn loner…but that is only because he is always aware of his responsibilities and takes them seriously. But get past that façade and you’ll find a man who has some amazing dreams. The difference between Capricorn men and other men is that he usually finds a way to make those dreams a reality through hard work and determination. It takes a lot to deter a Capricorn from his course of action, but once he makes that decision it’s an abrupt one and there’s never any turning back.

A Capricorn’s Prayer: "Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

A Capricorn’s Daily Affirmation: “I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.”

What a Capricorn says after sex: “Do you have a business card?”

How to Bag & Tag

The goat is tricky to catch simply because he is so careful about his choices. You can’t really fool him by being something you are not for as long as it will take to convince him to take a chance. I will say this though, if you come across as being equally choosy, have a good dose of healthy self-respect and take pride in your appearance…a Capricorn just might decide to put you through your paces to see if you measure up. You can’t really fault them for this though…they truly do have a lot to offer a woman.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Do everything to excess. Hang all over them in public. Get drunk at their office party, and make out with their colleague’s spouse. Stop strangers with strollers to drool over the babies.

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

Instead of splitting the check at your birthday celebration as usual, they lay it all on you, along with a ‘what’s yours what’s mine’ check list, and copies in triplicate of all the prenuptial agreements, attorneys documents, and zero balance savings.

Aquarius

The Water Bearer
The Water Bearer
Good Aquarian
Good Aquarian
Bad Aquarian
Bad Aquarian

Aquarius Male 101

Aquarius (1/21 – 2/19): Aquarians are naturally friendly and consider everyone to be their buddy, their pal or their mate. They have a tough time getting truly serious about any one woman and when they do, it is a rather threatening feeling. They’re natural dawdlers when it comes to declaring their intentions…usually. It’s not that they want to lose you…they are just rather uncomfortable with deep emotions. They prefer to keep things light and easy.

An Aquarian’s Prayer: "Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!"

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so...

An Aquarian’s Daily Affirmation: “In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.”

What an Aquarian says after sex: “Now let's try it with our clothes off!”

How to Bag & Tag

Keep secrets. If you are one of those overly-chatty types that divulge everything about yourself in the first fifteen minutes, you won’t stand a chance. You’ll notice a strong reaction to your mysterious behavior and while it’s not what you expected, it’s a sign that you are succeeding. Aquarian men get downright cantankerous when they can’t solve a puzzle. They’ll turn their back on you and walk off in a huff…and then their curiosity gets the better of them and they’ll be back trying to pry those secrets out of you. Give them plenty of rope and just allow them to gradually hang themselves.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Loudly oppose their latest cause. Initiate daily heart to heart chats about your personal feelings and moods. Tell them what to wear. Reiterate: “Baby, it’s me and you against the world.”

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

What makes you think you were ever paired up with Aquarius to begin with? What happens when you hold a magnifying glass over a hologram or view it through a telescope? What about a reflection of a rainbow as seen in a mirror?

Pisces

Pisces the Fish
Pisces the Fish
Good Pisces
Good Pisces
Bad Pisces
Bad Pisces

Pisces Male 101

Pisces (2/20 – 3/20): More moody than a Cancerian and with less control than a Scorpio…we come to the old man of the zodiac, Pisces. Unfortunately, their experiences in life heavily influence their outlook. If the world has been kind to them and they’ve found a measure of success, then you will know immediately by their tendency toward a cheerfully dreamy disposition heavily laced with optimism and romance. Beware the Pisces that has suffered miserably. If you want that experience, just tie a boulder around your neck and jump off the nearest bridge. Otherwise, Pisces men are very compassionate and tender souls.

A Piscean’s Prayer: "Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory."

How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? Lightbulb? What lightbulb?

A Piscean’s Daily Affirmation: “As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.”

What a Piscean says after sex: “What did you say your name was?”

How to Bag & Tag

Show you care. Hold their hand and indulge in all the silly little romantic gestures you want. They love that kind of thing. Listen to them. Keep a well-stocked bar and buy tissue in bulk.

How to Get Rid of Him (Loonsounds)

Quit drinking (or at least, quit drinking with them). Overuse the word budget. Make them give you every detail of their day. Share athletes foot. Go #2 while they are trapped in the bathtub.

Signs You've Been Dumped (Loonsounds)

You’re confused. They just went ‘poof.’ . Slowly you convince yourself that he/she is sick/ maimed/dead. Longing for closure, you launch a global search. Truth be told, they’re only drunk (again) and getting laid (again), this time on some garden rooftop uptown.

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So what's your sign?

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    • spryte profile image
      Author

      spryte 2 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Molly - thank you!

      U&U - Lol! Why do I have this odd feeling that I know you? Have we met? :)

    • Molly Layton profile image

      Molly Layton 2 years ago from Alberta

      This is an incredibly amusing hub. I was in stitches the whole time. Your play on the traits of each sign is brilliant (and by that I mean associating Cancer and crabs or Libera and scales). Thank you for posting this brilliant read.

    • profile image

      Unbaggable & Untaggable. 2 years ago

      Bag and tag!!! Are men livestock!!! What kind of impudence is this!!

      Men are to be respected and loved. Not BAGGED and TAGGED. Get your shit together, HUBPAGES.COM!!!!!!! *makes disgusting face accompanied with disgusting noises*

    • profile image

      Rachel 3 years ago

      Very funny. Especially that I wad indeed asked by an Aries male I was dating to join him in changing a light bulb and to make something of it. It really was something.

      And as a Leo, I really do think that after sex. Heh.

    • profile image

      cass 5 years ago

      Odd never meet a male lybra females plenty but male none but thanks for the advice I am most grateful

    • spryte profile image
      Author

      spryte 5 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Hi Cass - I answer EVERYTHING (most of the time). Interesting combination there....Leo woman/Scorpio man. Not what I would have picked out for you, although I admit I understand completely how it could have seemed irresistible at first and there's nothing you can't handle (at least this is what YOU believe) :) You are adventurous...courageous...and you have a very big heart that you mask with gruff affection. You love to be wined and dined...BUT...it does not have to be fancy...just interesting and unusual for you to feel special and loved. Careful though...Leo women have a tendency to expect it as their due and you can't always be the queen. Scorpio is not a good long term choice for you...although I have seen it work...usually when the couple pursues their own interests outside of the relationship. I would put you with a LIbra Male...it seems like a better balance for you. I think the two of you would bring out the best in one another.

    • profile image

      cass 5 years ago

      and I say the bus thing of course in exageration I just get the strong feeling I am right about the bus he just does so many things in my eyes that r selfish and he always takes easy way out comeing clean any responsibility in any matter ihe is involved with

    • profile image

      cass 5 years ago

      Well don't know if anyone gonna answer but what is a good match for a leo woman currently with a scorpio passion is great but his heart is cold he is cold and very selfish not a kinda guy that would throw himself in front of bus to help another which bothers me a lot

    • deblipp profile image

      deblipp 6 years ago

      I love astrology humor!

    • profile image

      Capricorn 6 years ago

      This is so hilarious!!! hahahaha! I'm a capricorn girl but I read all the descriptions there....so insanely funny!! 'it's me and you against the world baby!' I love that line hahaha

    • oliversmum profile image

      oliversmum 7 years ago from australia

      Hi. I dont know too much about Astrology,but i thoroughly enjoyed reading this hub,especially the Virgo Sign,it is spot on. Thank You.:) :)

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      spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Puddytat:

      First off...let me tell you that I absolutely adore Leo women. They're fiercely independent, sassy and a lot of fun to be with.

      Second...you are going to have your hands full with your Libra/Scorpio man, but that's not to say it isn't doable. It will just require a lot of work on your part which is something you would never shy away from anyway.

      On the bright side, both of you enjoy the finer things in life and know how to indulge in creature comforts (which in my opinion is not a bad thing at all). However, you like to be in charge and as a Leo...when you do, gestures tend to be larger than life and occasionally you can get a bit heavy-handed. Not to mention that after you've moved heaven and earth, accomplishing the goal, you expect to be petted and told just how wonderful you are.

      Libra is more concerned with the end result and not necessarily how it has been accomplished...as long as none of it disturbs his lovely dreams and sense of peace. With the Scorpio influence, I have a sense that if he's ever disturbed, he can become rather sullen or nasty and that will always hurt the tender feelings of the female pussycat. "Why is he angry...didn't you just do something wonderful for him?" I'm sure you have several examples of just that scenario.

      Start purring more and using those softer feminine wiles that you possess to soothe your mate. Make his favorite dinner or take him out to his favorite restaurant. Wear his favorite perfume and talk in a softer voice....

      Do you remember the old Love's Baby Soft perfume commercials? It's like that..."You can try hard...or you can try soft." He is actually very proud that you are so capable...just lose the combat boots and put on your slippers. :)

      Oh...and don't ask him what's wrong or worry so much about that. If there is something wrong, a Libra/Scorpio will never tell you anyway and your doubt will only make him think that maybe there IS something wrong when in fact nothing is wrong.

      Continue to be you...trust me, he doesn't want you to be anything else than that...just do it quietly. :)

      Good luck and thanks for commenting!

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      Puddytat 7 years ago

      Hello everyone, well first of all I had a blast reading this...I'm a leo born Aug 13th, I was married to a gemini for 13 yrs, I'm currently dating a Libra, not sure is he is a cusp..10-22. But it has been a most rewarding relationship...until he has been a little on the lazy side...so here is my question to Spryte...Please tell me is this going to work...or am I just wasting my time. I've dated almost all the signs but never a libra and here he is my knight in shining armor...will he stick around long enough...we have loads of fun, our dates are exotic and dream like. He just recently got into this quite mode...and I'm just scared as to why. I've asked him and he says nothing is wrong...but I do feel there is...I'm trying to give him some space and time to sort this out as I've read that libraians sometimes needs this to figure what direction to go...or to measure things out. I'd really appreciate it if you would get back to me...thank you in advance.

      Puddytat.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Well dee...I can't fault your taste in men. A woman would have to be pretty much dead to be immune to the charms of a Scorpio male. While perhaps not a match made in heaven...an Aquarian/Scorpio match is not really a total write-off either. On the upside, if it works out...you can pretty much guarantee that you've gotten yourself a prize specimen. Personally, I'd say that a Scorpio can only benefit from a relationship with an Aquarian as it keeps them from becoming too full of themselves. :) You might want to remind them of that if they forget...

      And thank you for the lovely comment :)

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      deestew 8 years ago from Kentucky

      This was a very good hub! I am an Aquarius who seems to be attracted to Scorpio Males which is crazy because many things I have read say we are not the best match! Sometimes they almost seem too exhausting to deal with because being the way that I am, I am sure to piss one off! I have before and man its not fun. But I seem to be a magnet to them or perhaps there is just an abundance of them...hmmm.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Well it really depends on the type of fish that you are! Some fish like to fight the current and swim upstream, while some are content to hang around in placid pools all day.

      For the calm fishies, Cancerians and Leos are both good choices provided you don't allow your natural tendency to melancholy to over-dampen the puttytat's high spirits. As for the fighting fishy...you'd do well with a Cancerian there too...a Virgo, Libra, Scorpio and possibly a Capricorn would suit.

      Like the Aries, which is the child of the sign, Pisces as the old man requires a lot of attention...just of a different sort. They require nurturing and tenderness...whereas the Aries simply just wants everyone to "look at me!" So look for the signs with patience, compassion and the ability to dream for compatibility and you won't go wrong.

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      Kari Poulsen 8 years ago from Ohio

      I had a lot of fun reading this and trying to figure out which one I would find appealing. Tell me what sign are pisces most suited to? (I'm a pisces) I may as well ask an expert, before I decide :D

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      Hillary C. 8 years ago

      Nice article. I'll keep my fingers crossed I don't do any of the DONT'S!

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      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      Hugs back! Have fun with your dad!

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      I promise in the New Year there will be more spryte on the hubpages. I think I just needed a recharge...and spending the holidays with my family is DEFINITELY a recharge. And I thought I was the only insane person in the group..

      Besides I've missed all of you as well. And now...I have to go shower. My father is going to be here soon and that's always a fun time...lol! Big hugs to you!

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      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      Merry day after Christmas, Spryte! It's nice to see your name popping up in the hubtivity again! It just hasn't been the same around here.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      The happiest of holidays to you too Gaby...and to all my readers as well!

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      Gaby 8 years ago

      Thanks Spryte!I def do tend to play hot and cold with guys.I try not to but sometimes I get annoyed if they are being to clingy.I did forget to mention that my mom is a Taurus and both my dad and brother are Cancers.however, my brother is more emotional than my dad or at least he shows it more.like way more.when he was little he would cry for everything if someone came to visit us and left he cried, if my parents fought he cried,if they scolded him he cried.If was interesting bc it would bother me bc I get sentimental and emotional but I don't like showing it.Happy Holidays btw Spryte and everyone else!!!!!!

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Gaby: LOL! Well...your nickname is well-suited to you :) You were born on a cusp, so your personality will reflect both of those signs, even though you seem to lean more toward Aquarius, there are definite Capricorn influences in there as well. I can probably make an educated guess that you drive most men crazy with your hot and cold personality.

      Leo's do tend to spoil their women, but remember they are also very sensitive. As much as it might seem they are putting you are on a pedestal, part of the reason you are up there is to get a better view of their own magnificence. If you don't pamper the puttytat he'll sulk off and leave you to get off your own damn pedestal faster than you can say...WTF?

      Taurens are a good choice...but be prepared for some stubbornness. You won't always get your way, which in some cases is a good thing for you. You have an idea of what you would like, definitely what you don't like...but you get distracted easily and sometimes talk yourself out of a good decision. A Tauren won't allow that...or he'll only allow it for so long before he'll put down a hoof and blow some steam out at you. But if you are into domestic bliss...that's what you'll get with this sign.

      Stay away from Pisces and Cancer...they'll drown you in emotion and judging from your statement, that's the last thing you want. You might consider a Sagittarian for a partner, but be prepared to give as good as you get. They won't be leashed unless it's a long one.

      I wish you all the best in finding just the right guy for you! I'm sure he's out there and you've got the right idea not to settle. :)

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      Gaby 8 years ago

      I am an aquarian female and I was born 1/21.It's quite confusing because few astrologers put me as a capricorn.However,I totally 100% fit the aquarian description.I mean I run at slighest sign of a relationship getting too serious too fast,too clingy.I runaway from needy,emotional people.Although I do tend to always get teary eyed for almost anything,except when we spend thanksgiving with my mom's second cousin and they all cry while saying thanks,that annoys and I wonder why the f are they crying.We are very open-minded and personally I dislike people who can't at least respect other's opinions.I'm aloof and unattached.I hate doing what everyone else is does.The guy I am interested is a Taurus, is that a good match?what would we both have to do to make it work?or how is that relationship going ot work over all?I had this other tauren guy chase after me for a few years I said no in every way possible.I even had to be mean to tell him no even though I felt bad but he just wouldn't get it.I don't know if he still does get it.I've been talking to a Leo,however, I've only gotten to know the part that they spoil their women.that is so true.he probably has me on a pedestal,which I'm not sure it's a good thing.Aquarius/aquarius don't work at all I don't think.I tried it and I felt like I was dating a friend.So after an entire essay written.What sign would work great with an aqaurian?

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      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      Hey! Good to see you up and around! It's just not the same around here, without a spryte!

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Gwendy: LOL! Damn...and here we were trying to keep it a secret :P

      Nah...I'm fine. Just a combination of work, holidays, flu, WoW and lack of ambition to write anything at the moment. December is always an insane month for me (as an accountant).

      *hugs*

      How you being?

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      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Hey Spryte, glad to see you alive and well. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to return. You know everyone is saying that you and Shades have run off with one another and that is why you guys have been so sparse around here.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Izetti - I know of another Tauren/Aquarian relationship that has lasted for years...so it must be a good pick for you. I think they're getting ready to celebrate their 40th. :) I agree...Scorpios have a tendency to heat things up, although occasionally they do have a rather sadistic tendency. I adore female Leos as friends, but as male lovers...hmm...they do have a tendency to require a lot of petting and reassurance that they are in charge. Although at times...I truly think I'd rather spend my days reassuring a Leo than trying to get my Aries husband to quit whining and eat his dinner or I'll send him to bed without any....err...

      I have this tendency to forget he's not really a child...and with my maternal Cancerian instinct it can make for some rathe ramusing moments.

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      Lizett 8 years ago from The Great Northwest

      What a FUN topic!Linda Goodman's Love signs book is so eerily right on. I stole my mom's copy when I was in high school and I admit I'd check it out whenever I began dating someone new. I went against the better advice of Linda's book and had the worst dating realtionahip ever. Sorry Leo's, you are not my cup of tea- I fare better with any other sign but them. I am a Taurus now married to an Aquarius -oddly never dated one before him and I haven't even checked out our signs together so this hub reminded me I should do that (thanks!). Tauruses are sensual by nature and I know my husband does not appeal to that side or bother with the extra (wink wink) stuff romantically, etc. On a side note- Scorpios are hot in bed. Leos need too much assurance and attention- ugh! My mom is a Leo too and we have been known to clash.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Having been the recipient of several noxious gag inducing emissions produced by my own beloved husband, I would whole-heartedly concur on your sentiments.

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      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      A leaf falling in Africa could lead to a tidal wave in Indonesia.

      Don't worry about Gwendy's beans. In this green and fertile land of which I appear to have become surrogate wise and benevolent father, as well as Lord High Poo-Bah, any foul smell emitted in the open immediately freezes solid and is exported to Rotorua to add to the ambiance of our tourist industry. And if you think that I'd let Gwendymom or her smelly kids inside anything other than a fish-processing factory, you've got to be out of your tiny little minds!

      Aquarians may be altruistic, but we're not completely crackers.

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      countrywomen 8 years ago from Washington, USA

      Spryte- Maybe I am getting old (memory loss) or due to your lack of providing us gas masks in time for the party at Greenland (being hosted by Gwendy's beans ammo has affected my dumb intellect into temporary amnesia).

      You are right maybe I should be too proud since Iam humble/modest...LOL

      I guess we can find out our Majesty's Royal Sign and include it ourselves in the poll....(What do you say your Highness Christoph since your one roar is equal to hundred of us ordinary subjects)...hehe

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      country - Those pictures have been there since I published...hehehe. I'm sure you aren't a negative aries, you are just too humble to see all of your positive traits :)

      And that doesn't surprise me about Leos, although they may be visiting, they might be far too royal to participate in this humble poll. :)

      Lgali - thank you!

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      countrywomen 8 years ago from Washington, USA

      Spryte- When did you add those pictures? I feel I have more negative aries qualities than positive...Oh NO!

      Btw my favorites Leo are only 5%(one of the lowest) visiting this hub. No wonder I haven't been spending enough time on this hub...hehe

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      Lgali 8 years ago

      good advice

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Hahahah! So true! It's hard to get a Cancerian to part with anything...even trash :)

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      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Love your analogy!  It's perfect.  Too bad Cancers are loyal to a fault, makes the suffering last longer.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Shirley - Pisces are actually a good match for Cancer BUT...and here is the important BUT part...occasionally you can get a bad fish, or maybe even two as you've discovered. And of course you know what happens when fish goes bad. It starts to smell to high heaven and you have to take the trash ALL the way to the curb so it doesn't stink up the rest of your house. Luckily most fishies aren't so stinky and your son sounds like a fine example!

      Feline - Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed this!

      As for the rest of you instigators, I think CR decided to keep his shower to himself and is not sharing, hence the lack of invitation. I'm fine with that as I hate sharing the hot water anyway! :P

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      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      It's a good story. Maybe I'll do a true confessions hub or something.

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      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Nah, high on theory, low on practical. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.

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      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      TOF - Sounds like you've done this before. Good advice!

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      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Shirley: if you gonna let it all hang out, be discrete. That way you can come back for seconds.

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      Feline Prophet 8 years ago

      Haha...truly hilarious...apart from being almost spot on!

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      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Group shower? You gonna have a hub-cam?

      I am a Cancer Horse. Love it, wouldn't want to be anything else. We are supposed to be perfectly matched to Pisceans, but whoever decided that was so, was off their rocker! I married one and dated another (not at the same time) and their moods, deceitfulness and addictions were more than this little Cancer girl could handle. It was kinda freaky realizing that they were both practically the same person in a different body. The Piscean that I gave birth to however, is exactly the opposite. In fact, he's perfect. :) As are his sisters, but they're not Pisces, either one.

      This is a great hub, Spryte! Tons of fun to read, too.

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      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Great, glad to have you back, even though it may not be full time. I am taking breaks while writing a new hub. It's nap time here and I am trying to catch up with everyone. It seems like it has been forever since I was able to be on here and just BS with everyone. I am hoping that CR hasn't had that group shower yet, I am ready now and will be disappointed if he has already had it.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Hey Gwendy! Don't worry...I'm just off terrorizing the world of Azeroth and defending it against the evil forces of the Lich King with my Undead warlock, Cuddles. :)

      Two more levels to go...but I haven't maxed out my skills (except for fishing) so far...and lots of the new continent left to explore. But I'm still replying to comments and trying to read whatever others are writing when I can. Of course, since I'm at work right now...I'm not playing the game...so I can peek in between work!

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      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Hey Spryte, glad to see you around, was beginning to wonder what happened to you.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      :P to both of you!

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      Peter 8 years ago from Australia

      Ag gets smacked on head by passing Hub idea!, glasses fall off and break!

      "sigh"

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      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      I'll get Maxi Farad, the elective eel, to pass on the fondling. They seem to have a thing going.

      See you 'round the post elective trail.

      Cheers, T.O.F.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      TOF - I used to love getting rowdy and singing that song! As for Aquarian's being egotistical...they are much too good natured to ever make any such claim seriously and hence the reason why they are always welcome wherever they go...people just love having them around.

      Please give my fondest fondling (platonically of course) to Tink. LOL!

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      The Old Firm 8 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      High Spryte, just to let you know that Tinkerbell the bear, who's desire for lady bears you destroyed at B.T.'s behest sends his love (platonically of course)

      There was a song that came out in the early eighties: "Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble, (When you're perfect in every way! - I can't bear to look in the mirror, for I get better looking each day.)"

      The bit I like most goes: "Some folks say that I'm egotistical; Hell, I don't even know what it means. But I think that it has something to do with the way, that I fill out my skin-tight blue jeans!"

      This of course doesn't fit me as I'm Aquarian, and above all that.

      Love,

      T.O.F.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Hiya Aggie :)

      I've been peering in every now and then. I'm trying not to force anything...that's usually when it sucks. I can feel the beginning of an idea tickling the edge of my brain though...just waiting for it to come up and smack me on the head hard enough. :)

      Have you checked on top of your head for your specs?

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      Peter 8 years ago from Australia

      I think your muse must be with me on vacation because my specs have gone missing and I cant' see what i'm writing! I missed the "shower"

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      I did see all the "shower" activity going on....tsk!  I figure I need to write a hub to earn my place back in here...

      And damn it!  I've started several...they just didn't flow at all.  My muse seems to be on vacation.  :)

      I miss all of you too! *hugs* to each and every one of you.

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      Peter 8 years ago from Australia

      Well spryte I've been keeping out of trouble, I swear. Its all those other ones, honest.

      Sorry to hear you havn't been well we have all missed you. Get better quick huh!

      (Hugs)

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      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Spryte, get better soon. We miss you sooo much!!!I am glad someone is keeping an eye on us, we need supervision. Honestly I can't even get a god hubjacking going without you. So come back soon.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Gwendy - I'm so glad you are back! Welcome home! Sorry I've been away so long...but I caught a bug and I've been down for count the last couple of days. I have about 4 unfinished pieces that I've been writing but I can't seem to finish them...LOL! I am keeping an eye on you guys though...I swear!

      *hugs*

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      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Spryte, I have returned and miss you terribly. I hear that you are playing games with your husband, I hope you are having tons of fun, but not so much fun that you won't return to us on HP. Come back soon, we need your charming wit around here, it's kind of dull without you!

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      :( No laptop huh?  I'll miss you...but have a safe trip okay and no worries,  I was having a little fun over in a forum thread watching Shadesbreath duel Mark Knowles (in a friendly fashion).

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      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Sorry Spryte, I was planning on coming back to visit with you this afternoon but I couldn't make it. I am headed to Colorado in the morning and I am not sure when I will get back. I will be hanging out here tonight, not sure how long.

      I didn't get Shades cornered like I would have liked to, but that's the way things go.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      LOL! Define this "cornered" thing...

      Hubby just swung by my office to take me to lunch, so I'm back at work now, sort of working...sort of not working...so good afternoon to you too!

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      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Hey miss Spryte, how are you this morning? Sorry I didn't make it by here sooner, I was busy trying to corner Shades. I've got him cornered now so I thought I'd drop by to say Good morning, guess it's afternoon now, but you know what I mean, I hope.

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      ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

      Hi Spryte Hope you can find the info re. the "I feel" etc. And re the possibility of cancers not having great marriages I have to say although that wasn't fantastic my twin brother and son - all 7/2 - are very close indeed and we have fantasic time when all together particularly on our birthday date. cheers.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      LOL rachael! If anyone could tolerate a Sagittarian's frankness it would be an Aries person. I can't see the two of you sitting still for very long...must be a lot of fun! Thanks for dropping in and sharing that!

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      rachaelc 8 years ago from Austin

      Excellent hub, Spryte! I bagged a Sagitarian and am convinced it works so well because, as an Aries, I'm too impatient to wait around for his too-frank comments...

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Hi Nicole: I'm certainly glad I made you laugh out loud! :) I'm not sure how well I could do one on women since this list was compiled after much research (dating) and I've never dated a woman before...but perhaps I could find something or approach it from a different angle. I'll think on it some more and see if it's doable.

      Hmmm...Ajcor, now that you mention it, I do recall reading something about the "I feel" and "I know" sort of thing. This will probably bug me until I remember it. Unfortunately, you are right that sometimes same sign relationships don't work out. Two Cancers together would probably butt heads quite often since they are both natural born leaders...and when you double the tendency to be able to depress yourself, it can be rather melodramatic. However, when it's funtime...two Cancers together would have a GREAT time.

      I had a Cancer/Cancer relationship just once and felt that nobody understood me better. But we had a tendency to try to outdo each other too...which irritated me to no end.

      I have a 7/1 brother and a 7/21 sister...and we're VERY tight. Perhaps it's because we are siblings and when we don't get along we could either beat each other up or tell Mom. :)

      Anyway...I'm leaving work early today (yay!) so I'll see you all tonight.

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      ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

      Hi Spryte - just back from a few days away  - and thought to tell you that I was married to a cancer first time around and it wasn't pretty - cancer/cancer - but my second son was born on my birthday 7/2 and we are remarkably compatible. My older son is a Sag. and is a traveller (as is no 2 son) and ambitious but in the right way (sheer hard work). I see from your hub that sixtorso, You, me and who else are Cancers?

      I once read a book that said that astrological signs can also be categorised by their emotional personalities - e.g. Cancer "I feel" and Acquarius "I know" Pisces "I am" etc. Unfortunately am unable to find the book and that is all I can remember. Maybe Leo could be "I roar" Capricorn "I will" Gemini "Me too" cheers.

      ps gwendymom I knew that you were a wise woman! always good to write somethingout and get rid of it. .

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      Nicole A. Winter 8 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Wow, spryte, this is excellent! I laughed so much my daughter kept asking me what the joke was... any plans to do one specifically for women?

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      It's definitely a good idea to keep a list at hand for when you do consider upgrading. ;) LOL!

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      rowanelayna 8 years ago from York, PA

      He actually thinks it's easier to remember the size of the book instead of the author. Ugh. Next husband I have will enjoy reading as much as I do! : )

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      froggie: You take good care of your Cancer guy! And he would be the complete opposite of you since he's completely opposite your sign on the zodiac chart. I happen to think though that it's a winning combination. You'll keep the eye on the prize and he'll be willing to not do anything that won't get you there...how can you lose? You'll just have to deal with all that Cancerian moodiness along the way and make sure to give him a rah rah speech if he gets all gloom and doom...but I assure you, from the bottom of my unbiased Cancerian heart, that it'll be worth it.

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      froggie21 8 years ago

      Hey, just wanted to say that the good cancer and bad cancer totally fits my fiancé. He's the complete opposite to me. I'm a Capricorn. I would say that I'm a little more open minded although that could be because of life experience. I do have nice taste. The only difference is that he isn't a momma's boy, more of the father's boy, lmao. Oh well, I'm dealing with that as best I can. lmao. Good job though. Kept reading and reading. Very funny and cute.

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      cgull - Unfortunately, I'll have to leave that up to a man to do since portions of this were drawn from experience and I have none when it comes to picking up women. :)

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      cgull8m 8 years ago from North Carolina

      I hope you will do write How to Tag & Bag Any Woman Using Astrology soon :)

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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Rowan:  What?!  Everyone knows that personal books should be put in alpha order!  *shudder*  What kind of OCD monster are you living with!!! :)

      It would drive me nuts too.  Luckily, the hubby doesn't have an organizational bone in his body...but then again, that's sometimes worse.

      *hugs*

      Get back to work!

      Hiya Sun Sand - No cusp for you! You are all Pisces. :)

    • rowanelayna profile image

      rowanelayna 8 years ago from York, PA

      Very good description of the male virgo! Both Matt and I are virgo's and our mutual OCD either works out very well or causes huge fights (example- Matt changed the organization of MY books from alpha by author and within author by publish year to biggest to smallest...ergh. Good thing he doesn't have access to my CDs! I think I'm getting hives just thinking about all the things of mine he could reorganize and screw up!!!).

      Anywoo...thanks for helping me kill more time at work in a fun way. Between your hubs and darwinawards.com I can get through the week. : )

    • profile image

      Sun Sand 8 years ago

      Hi

      I'm a Pisces, February 25 or a CUSP ?

    • spryte profile image
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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      N'nite Gwendy - sweet dreams.

      I'm going to take that comment and those relating to them to limbo now...just in case when you wake up. I'm just gonna do the discreet thing...but let me know if you feel differently. 'K hon?

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Spryte, I am off to bed and wanted to express my thanks to you one more time. Good night and sweet dreams.

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      MM, Thank you, I am glad I got it too. I hope everything is ok with your family. Hugs to you sweetie!

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Ag, I don't think there will be a publishing of the hub. I just needed to spill my guts. More so for myself to just get it out of me. It was a pretty persoanl thing in my life and it has been eating at me for awhile. I don't usually talk to my family or even my close friends about my most intiment moments because I reallly am a private person (based on the things I say here you probably didn't know that about me) and I know that the people in my life have to still look at me and my husband and make their decision about us based on things like what is going on now. I would never ask anyone to choose sides, or say a bad thing about my husband that made him look like an ass and then expect my family be ok with it. That kind of thing is ust not fair to anyone. So basically I haven't talked to anyone about it and it has just become a huge burden for me that I needed to get rid of. Sorry if you are disappointed.

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      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hey gang. G-mom, I'm glad you got some 1-on-1 Spryte time!!! Chris and Ag (aka PP), hi gentlemen. I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. I just wrote about mine in my newest rant hub. But now I'm off to zzzzland. Dad was taken to the hospital tonight after Hubby and I left. So I will be heading back over there tomorrow. Gotta get a little kitty squish in to boost my stamina.

      This time I will be taking my trusty Internet therapist (aka HubPages) with me for relief! Hugs to all who need them... as I know they will be returned to me in kind.

    • spryte profile image
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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      What comment did Gwen make that should be sent to limbo?

    • agvulpes profile image

      Peter 8 years ago from Australia

      Er Gwen I think you better send that last comment to limbo?

      don't forget they can be recovered!

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      ok, I am here.

    • spryte profile image
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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Gwen...I'm back.

    • spryte profile image
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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Okies :) Let me take a peek

      Is it about men? Just teasing you...

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      it is men are stupid.

      i might have to change the title as I wrote it when I was a little mad.

      Thank you.

    • spryte profile image
      Author

      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Gwendy - I'll go and take a look at it now.  Misha must be reading the stuff I sent to him.  :) Which one is it?

      Sixty - A perfectly good date...but I was hoping we'd have the same one.  LOL!

    • sixtyorso profile image

      Clive Fagan 8 years ago from South Africa

      Sprite I am 29th of June.

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      MM, thanks for your offer I truly apprecite it. I might need support and love from friends when and if I publish it. I have given my password to Spryte and Christoph for their opinion for another hub I had written and I think I better keep it to a minimum for people who have my password. This does not mean that I do not trust you oe anything like that, but I know that Spryte will give me an honest answer and a female perspective that I could use. That is why I did not have Christoph read it. I hope that neither one of you are offended by this.

    • spryte profile image
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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      ...A Perfectly BIG ego :)

      Hop on your horse and come help me save Little Timmy, cowboy.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

      Who says Leo's have a big ego? I'm too perfect to have an ego!

    • spryte profile image
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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Thanks MM and lol...sort of.

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      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      I can only imagine. Let me guess. Misha is advocating that internet predators are good people and probably deserve to be a protected class or some such. I'll go check the action!

    • spryte profile image
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      spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

      MM Thanks! I'm in a bit of a battle on my Timmy hub with Misha. LOL! Or I would, Gwendy. If you want to come and peek...both of you...you'll see why.

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      I'm here too G-mom if you need... xo, MM

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Spryte, I am glad you are on. I need a female perspective. Are you up for it? It is long and I'm just not sure what I think about making it a public hub. I would appreciate your thoughts on this one.