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How to know you're in a Korean Drama:
1. You like someone, who likes someone else, who conveniently happens to like you. It's like a spider web of confusing love. And to make it worst, the person you like most likely will have romantic feelings for either a childhood sweet heart or a really, really older woman/man. How do you even compete with these two category?
2. The guy that likes you is handsome, charming, well educated, stable, rich, and he adores you to the core whole heartedly. But you will always choose the asshole. You must have stolen candy from a baby. Unfortunately for you, that baby was cupid. And now karma is a b***p.
3. It rains when you cry. At least you know farmers love you and as long as you still reside in that city, there's never going to be a drought season. Your country needs you. Plus, whenever you're sad, nothing helps drown away worries and sorrows better than hard on, pouring rain, right?
4. You will most likely walk in the pouring rain while crying. I don't know why but it's Korean physics that dark clouds follow people who cry. But what makes it extra amusing is your willingness to walk IN the rain instead of seeking shelter. A miserable person should always emphasize how miserable they are by walking slowly in the rain clutching their heart while sobbing uncontrollably. If you want to go down with a bang and add more dramatic effect, then get down on your knees in the middle of the sidewalk while doing all of the above.
5. You'll faint from a fever. Fevers always make people feel woozy, hyper-ventilate and faint right? This happens ALLLL the time. (Probably wasn't the best idea to be mourning in the rain on the side walk like a maniac now, is it? )
6. You'll probably have a terminal illness or get into a car accident and have amnesia. But don't worry, even with your cancer and multiple tumors or the excess chemotherapy treatments, you'll still always keep your luxurious hair and smooth skin. Just dab on a little beige lipstick and slightly less concealer and you're good to go! Everyone looks this beautiful with cancer.
7. You'll meet and fall in love with a handsome, intelligent, well educated, sensitive, honest, loyal, devoted, and SINGLE man. Oh, and he's a Chaebol. Just for people who don't know what a Chaebol is. Well,... they make businessmen and entrepreneurs like Donald Trump look like sh!t in comparison. These men are so filthy rich with so many international enterprises that it may take a whole dozen other article to list their net worth and they can probably build another Dubai. And you'll be the lucky girl to win the heart of this one of a kind specimen. This is like winning 10 lottery tickets in one day and surviving the Titanic.
8. You run towards the airport in full on anxiety attack, searching frantically for your departing lover. This is your last chance to express your feelings to the one you love and you may never be able to see them again if you don't. You run through intersections and highways, steal a stranger's cars and nearly miss killing a dozen people on the way. And guess what? NO COPS! Sweet! Then you run frantically through the airport screaming, crying, and yelling your lover's name until you finally find them just as they are about to enter the forbidden gate. What a heck of timing you have there. ...I'm going to make a bold suggestion, but maybe next time, try using something called "a cellphone?"
9. You're really poor. Can't afford eggs kinda poor. ...And you have an Iphone/Samsung/android phone. It's amusing how you are struggling through life. barely able to afford rent or food. And during extreme cases, you are whoring around low status bars and districts, but for some miracle by the Korean gods, you have the most luminous hairstyles, really nice put together outfits, expensive handbag, watches, AND an android (most likely requires a data plan) phone.
10. As you walk out the door, you turn back with slight tears in your eyes, a generous, sincere smile spreads across your face, and your hair flips back perfectly. ...You're going to die. You know you're about to be killed off for the sake of mankind when you exit a scene with dramatically sad music and you get your last 5 seconds of limelight to bash in all the glorious beauty that is you. Enjoy it while you can cause your impending death is coming in the next scene. And if we all know Korean drama, it's going to be a really painful, dramatic death.
11. *(recently added)* BIG AGE GAPS. Love ain't no getting the way of love for Koreans. Newest dramas like "I love Italy/Lee Tae Ri" or "BIG" or " Flower boy ramen shop," all incorporate sick, put-you-to-jail-if-you-lived-in-North-America types of love. Now I'm not against age when it comes to love, but that big age difference should come AFTER, when the person is far more legal. Say pass 21? 22? Come on, humour me drama! Give me something pass high school students to help ease my mind that my little boy isn't losing his virginity to his 10-years-older home room teacher. If I ever live in Korea, I'm going to make sure I home school! Or actually, during old age, I would definitely go to Korea to look for suitors =p bwuahahah!
I would recommend watching "I love Italy/Lee Tae Ri" to see the big age gap in full blown light. The kid, who is 14 years old IN the drama, falls in love with a women 14 years his seniors. Yup, that makes her 28 years old, dating a 14 years old, kissing a 14 years old, dating a 14 years old. This would get you put in the gutters where I come from, but hey, that's just North America right?
There you have it folks. Just in case one day any of these things or ALL of these things start happening to you, then most likely you're being followed by a film crew and director from Korea meddling with your fate and destiny. This is how you can tell you're in a Korean Drama. :)
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