Humor Reflected In the War of The Sexes
In the beginning there was humor.
Humor could be a his and hers affair.
Of the many areas of life in which humor has played a major role, it has been in the war of the sexes. Never has differences and contrasts been greater than when the two sexes are involved in humorous comparisons. Gene Weingarten and Gina Barreca, are two comical geniuses, whose humor is featured in the very popular book, I’m With Stupid. They both give incredible insight into what make us tick as men and women. In this insightful and hilarious book, on the differences between the two sexes, Gene and Gina do a fantastic job of comparing notes.
In the chapter one titled “Sex and the Single Cell: How It all Began” Gene and Gina talk about the creation and the Garden of Eden. This hilarious conversation is as follows:
- Gina: Why are there two sexes? Why not just one, or three?
- Gene: I’d say the answer depends on your system of beliefs. According to the Judeo-Christian tradition, for example, it was a decision of God. God created Adam in His own image, and then as an afterthought fashioned Eve from Adam’s rib to be his an I quote “helpmeat.”
- Gina: Helpmeet.
- Gene: Translation from ancient Hebrew is imprecise. The point is clear. To the rigorous theologian, the central and inescapable conclusion of this biblical allegory is: God has a penis. To repeat, documentary evidence establishes persuasively that the deity is a man---with a prominent Adam’s apple, a disdain for romantic comedies, and an almost religious appreciation of televised sporting events. Still there Gina?
- Gina: I am.
- Gene: Why aren’t you objecting?
- Gina: You haven’t said anything I disagree with.
- Gene: You concede that God is male?
- Gina: Yes
- Gene: I thought feminists would disagree.
- Gina: Feminist do not ignore the plainly evident just because it happens to be annoying or inconvenient. God creates the world in all its splendor and plenty---poof, a cornucopia of all things good and sweet----and then proceeds, as His first administrative act to place everyone on a diet? A food restriction? This is a male God. In a female God’s paradise, you eat what you want. Plus there is no river named “Pishon.”
- Gene: Pishon?
- According to Genesis, that the name of the first river, Phishon is a name a guy God comes up with. It takes Him four seconds. He’s busy, He’s got a lot on his plate, He doesn’t care. “Okay, lessee, we got a river here, We’ll call it, I dunno, Pishon. Next!” A woman God names the first river something like Sweetbriar Estuary.
From this example, you can see that men and women have definite ideas about how the opposite sex thinks. In this conversation, it's obvious that Gene was expecting Gina to come at him with a feminist retort. When Gina didn’t, he was surprised. Gina then explains her reasons, by expounding on how simple, and confining she thinks men are. She says that God must be male, because he put everyone on a diet, and then gave the first river, He made, a moronic name. Throughout this very funny and insightful book, Gene and Gina give hilarious examples of the idiosyncratic nuisances that make men and women what they are.
Gender related humor relate to different areas of our existence as men and women. One area is the division of labor. This area of who gets the burden of doing what has been a debated issue between men and women since the dawn of time. The following joke illustrates this point in a humorous way.
A husband is at home watching a football game when his
"Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."
He looks at her and says, angrily, "Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead? I don't think so."
Then his wife asks, "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."
To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."
She says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break."
"I'm not a darn carpenter and I don't fix steps," He says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so."
"I've had enough of you," he said, "I'm going to the bar!"
So he goes to the bar and drinks a few. Soon he starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife and decides to go home.
As he walks up to the house he notices that the steps are already fixed.
As he enters the house he sees the hall light is working.
As he goes to get a beer he notices the fridge door is fixed.
"Honey," he asks, "how did all this get fixed?"
She said, "Well, after you left I sat outside and cried. Then a nice young man came along and asked me what was wrong. I told him and he offered to do all the repairs and all I had to do was either give him our television or bake a cake."
The husband said, "So what kind of cake did you bake?"
She replied, "Helloooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker Written on my forehead? I don't think so."
I really chuckled when I read that one. Another of my favorites, takes us back to the beginning, to the Garden of Eden. I would like to present a couple of Adam and Eve jokes to show that even at the very beginning of time there were a few objections.
One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Adam?", God replies.
"Lord, I know You created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens.
"Lord, I know You created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely."
"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you."
"What's a 'woman', Lord?"
"This woman will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you," replies the heavenly voice.
"She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam."
"How much will this 'woman' cost me Lord?", Adam replies.
"She'll cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, "Ehhh, what can I get for a rib?"
Here’s another one that I’m sure will put a smile on your face.
God had just finished making Adam.
God said to him
"Adam, I want you to pick out a partner from any of the animals in the garden."
So Adam looked around trying to find a mate. After a few minutes Adam said to God
"God, none of these animals will do."
So God made a woman for Adam.
Adam looked at the woman and said to God
"God, why did you make her so beautiful?"
and God replied
"So you will like her Adam."
"But God, she is just SO beautiful why is she so beautiful?"
"So you will like her" God replied.
Then Adam asked,
"But God, why did you make her so stupid?"
God replied "So she will like you."
A lot of jokes that reflex on the difference between men and women take us back to the beginning of time. But what about the present? What humorous statement do we have for the here and now? Here is one from a man, who is truly frustrated with the female mystery. He deals with the feminine mystery in the following way:
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
The man who wrote this one, at least, I think a man wrote this one, must have been very frustrated with his marriage.
Oh Gosh," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"
As you can see from the previous examples, men and women do not always agree with each other. Men and women do not approach life the same way. Humor is one of the many ways, we have of expressing our appreciation of the opposite sex. Most of all, it is a great method of expressing our frustrations, in an amicable way. So next time, you do not agree with the status quo, or just feel like letting out a little steam, consider a good joke. Remember humor is the best medicine.