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I Am Numb

Updated on December 4, 2013

What's The Thrill

I must be missing something

I have heard one reason people have turned to drinking and doing drugs

Is they try to escape the real world

They keep on doing it and go back to that special place

It becomes home away from home

A secret hide away

They black out and don't remember a thing

Well I can honestly say I have felt just a taste of what they get

My thoughts were in a fog

Every time I tried to think of something

Another emotion would take over

But mine was for different reasons

I went a little to far

I should known better

I kept on pushing my limit

Now I pay the pipper

It happened early one morning

I happened to look at the clock

The time was 11:35 and I had second thoughts

An old expression popped in my head

You can't kill a dead horse

I tried to do things but my mind kept doing a full circle

I couldn't even do what I love to do most

That is write

It happened not because I wasn't thinking

It happened because I had faulty thinking

I went out into my car early in the morning

I decided to clean it out

There was old newspapers in the back seat

Candy wrappers tucked under the seat

Some summer clothes and books tossed in the trunk

Some gifts that we recently bought left in a bag

Then some car stuff we don't use any more

A few empty water bottles tossed in the back

It didn't take long

When I brought the stuff into the house

I knew then it was colder than I thought

I moved quickly while I was cleaning the car

Everything I did could of waited

I was stubborn and foolish

My hands were numb

I could of grabbed gloves from the house

It would of only taken a few minutes

That would of been too easy

Sometimes the weather is so cold and it doesn't take much

When I came in I tried moving my fingers and getting the circulation going

They were still numb

It took awhile and I said how stupid would that of been

Getting frostbite and having to deal with a bigger problem

The rest of my life

I know a friend who not only did the same thing

But did something so much worse

He was at a job and kept working outside in the bitter cold

Taking off his gloves occasionally finishing up some roof work

Then sure enough he paid the price

Three of his fingers were numb

After carefully doing whatever he could to save them

He was lucky two of his fingers came back to normal

They had to cut off half of his middle finger

Stopping the infection so it wouldn't spread to his whole hand

I seen him the other day and he has a sense of humor about it

He told me

What are you going to do

Things happen

I got to thinking these things don't have to happen

He made light of a bad decision

That cost him plenty

Now he says if somebody bothers me a little I give them the little finger gesture

If somebody bothers me a lot they have earned the big finger

Well now my fingers are o.k. and I got a pretty good scare

I have learned my lesson and my friend had to learn the same lesson the hard way

Now life goes on

The same for all those people who have stopped drinking and doing drugs

They now make a better decision than they have made in the past

To put their old bad habits behind them

Finding better things in their life

That create good and not bad

Make them happy naturally not in need of any artificial stimulants

There will be days that are not the best

There will be times you will be tempted

I can only pray you make the right choice

Then sometime later you will realize

Life has it's struggles and troubles

We all face

It is how we handle them that counts

Sticking them out when it is really hard

You might think nobody understands what you are going through

You might be surprised they have done it too

Sharing their story and reminding you they made it and so can you

Do what it takes to survive

That's what makes people great

We learn to adapt and change

Maybe you could even take the time to tell your story

Hoping someone else may be spared

A life of trouble and heartache

Life can be tricky and it can also be filled with unlimited joy

Let's make it a life to remember

Instead of one we try to forget


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    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 4 years ago

      Gypsy Rose Lee We are able to adapt and survive. So lets do what we do best and keep on making it work together. Finding new ways to bring about a better future. Thank you so much for reading and seeing what other people miss.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      And we always seem to find the strength to go on....