I Just Give Up
I would like to preface the following poem with a to-the-point explanation of where I was in life when I wrote it years ago. After my divorce, I stepped away from Christian fellowship, and retreated into friendships with old high school girlfriends. This led to no GoOD. This led to evil communications corrutping GoOD manners. Still in my early mid-twenties, and feeling as if I had to make up for missing out on my "freedom years", I accepted invitations to join them for "girls'/moms' nights out". This led me to behaviour that I didn't know I was capable of, and a self-preception that was being torn apart.
I Just Give Up
In the mirror, Who is this I see, Staring there, Right back at me?
Not the girl I know, Who have I become? My life is so different, It seems all undone.
I hate this place, I hate this life, I hate this world, And all of it's strife.
Don't know what to do, Don't really care, I'm not really living, I'm just there.
Just clubbin' and parties, "Nothin' but fun", But I'm sad and alone, When the night is done.
I hide it well, No one else can see, Through my convincing charade, That this isn't really me.
When I stop and think, It all seems so wrong, Everything goin' on around me, I just don't belong.
So I push it outta my head, I just don't think, Go with the flow, And have another drink.
I'll just let life go by, Not knowing which way to run, After all... who cares, What else can be done?
What's Your Opinion:
Do you wait too long, keeping your emotions, confusions, and pains inside of you as it pulls you down?
I'm so amazed the Lord stuck by me, and pulled me out of my days of wondering without Him as I tried to find my own path. I'm so thankful my wonderful God never stopped protecting me as I went out and had to learn my lessons my own way. I so glad my loving Daddy took me by the hand, and led me back to His path of peace, joy, and happiness that He had in store for me. I'm so happy my gracious Savior saved me from how I used to feel about myself and this life. Thank the Lord. Praise the Lord. All and the glory and honor is to the Lord Jesus!