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I Met Someone Very Special Today

Updated on January 19, 2017

I Tried To Keep It A Secret But I Can't

This person is someone who lights my fire

Excites me like nobody else can

Loves and hates me both at the same time

Talks back to me in the loudest tone

I try to ignore and act like I'm not listening

But that's not true

This person knows better than me

I can say and do anything this person will always be listening and watching

Critical, judge mental almost for certain

Out of control

Cruel, unkind and unforgiving

I get tired and just want to sleep

Hide me from what I think

Then when I awake

My mind starts to race

I feel my inner strength

So much energy and free spirited

Such a good feeling runs through me

So different than being angry and upset

Hot tempered, self centered and real complicated

Mad at the world and the people we know

This person is so loving and giving

Thoughtful and kind

Then why do I feel cold as ice

Ready to chew off somebody's head

When they look at me the wrong way

I can't keep this person out of my business

It is as if

We are one

That's not what I want or need

To much for me to handle

Have you ever felt this way ?

Like it or not

It is what it is

So instead of fighting and bringing up all the conflict

I decided to make amends

I forgive myself for what I have done or not done

I have become my own best friend

Not so fast

You are going to let all those years just erase like that

I can remember what I want to

Forget what I need to

Change my outcome

Forgive and learn to give and live again

Yes I can and so will you

Because I am in control

I have always been

Maybe just asleep at the wheel

Now we can work together

Sharing the good

Listening to the bad

It can no longer hurt me like it has

I don't have to look for help

I am now taking my time

Getting to know me

My feelings and my thoughts

There is nothing for me to cover up

I am me and I am so proud of it

No matter how I feel or think

I give myself the right to feel awful or sad

Even mad

Then I can and will make it work

Feeling better when I want to and when I am ready

Because the first time in my life

I am in control

If you say something you think I should do or not do

I say thank you for your help

Then I decide what I choose to do

On my own

Because from the beginning to the end of this story

I have learned

I know now what I have to do

My life is all mine

I have every right

To love myself

Morning, noon and night











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    • DREAM ON profile image
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      DREAM ON 7 months ago

      Nellieanna I have found in my past I have spread myself to thin and something has to give. It usually is my body or my mind and my thoughts. A lesson learned and I continue to mix into to my life the new views that combine with my core values. Thank you for reading and sharing. Happy Friday.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 7 months ago from TEXAS

      You are so right. When one exists to be kind and helpful, it’s a shock to realize that there are people willing to use and exploit one’s help & kindness. The good news, as you’ve discovered, is that we have the option to choose the people to be with & protect ourselves from what is oddly a combination of ‘their’ willingness to take advantage and, at the same time, our own nature which pushes us to put so much into it that it feels awful & so it almost backfires or boomerangs on our own peace-of-mind and hurts our own self-image. So we can and should choose our associates and our environment so that it best promotes our own welfare and benefit.

      It’s sort of like the advice given on airplanes, telling the adults or parents to be sure they have their own gas-masks on in the event of an emergency before they start trying to protect the children even though their first instinct would be to help the children and not to think of their own essential concern. If they followed that first instinct, though, while they focused on the children, the poisonous fumes will get to the adults who are capable of helping the helpless children and, if the adults are poisoned by the fumes, - so then, both adults AND children will perish. Also, it only takes a little time for the adults to make sure they are in the gas-masks and there will still be both time and being alive to help the children. All it takes is for them to realize how essential THEY are in the situation, even though it almost seems to go against their own natures to put themselves ‘first’.

      More good news is that one learns to help without risking one’s own emotional safety. It’s not the full-steam-ahead plunging headlong into someone else’s problems. It’s being fully alert and aware to what their problem is and whether or not it’s a do-it-ourself job for the person owning it. If there are signals that a situation and one’s participation in it somehow damages oneself more than it helps the person, whether or not it’s even intentional on the other person’s part, if it just brings out one’s negative emotions, as you mentioned, like making one feel angry at oneself for ‘not trying hard enough’ (I know that one all too well! I always thought I could and should TRY HARDER, even when it was a brick wall!), and feeling too ‘easy’ or silly for allowing oneself to be pressured corralled. And then one feels all irritable with oneself and even less able to ‘make it happen’ wonderfully for someone else. In other words, when trying to help is back-firing and damaging one’s effectivelness, not only with the other person’s situation which is their responsibility, but with one’s own which IS one’s responsibility. We have to both see how much good it was doing or whether it was an exercise in futility and frustration for us and of no real value to the other person, unless that person enjoys the ‘game’. We certainly do not need to be a checker on their checkerboard! That doesn’t even do them any real ‘good’, but encourages a very bad attitude in them. We can become enablers for selfish people to continue being selfish.

      In most instances, as one becomes more free to take ‘OWN’ one’s own viewpoint and choose what is best all-round, the situations in which it becomes a problem to avoid being sucked into things we can’t change for others seem to become fewer and fewer.

      Maybe we wore an invisible sign before saying ‘here I am, exploit me’. haha. But when we are sure of our own real responsibility, our sign may say, ‘I’m a kind person, but don’t tread on me’. For good people, that makes perfect sense to them and the last thing they’d want to do would be to tread on others. For the ‘takers’ it’s a strong warning, and they may go desist. If not, they’ll learn, so we’ll have done some good in that way.

      As you say, you can still help when you see real possibilities of making a difference and you can also choose to let the other people find their own way, or as the Bible says to do, go ‘work out their own salvation with fear and trembling’. In a way, it is doing people a disservice to try to take on their problems which they need to work through themselves.

      It’s also nice to be able and free to really choose what one can and feels right about doing for others, and still to feel one’s own self-direction being secure and intact and not at the mercy of others.

      And, finally, you are wise and fully justified to deliberately reserve your own time and energy to do the personal and preferred things that are part of your own destiny, and good ones are to be a good influence and example! That comes naturally from BEING a good influence and example, rather than trying to ‘fix’ the other people. haha It doesn’t guarantee that others will see the good influence or heed it. They may even try to fault it or cast guilt on it if it didn’t suit their preferences. So, it’s still and always 100% up to them to avail themselves of ANY kind of help from oneself.

      Being discouraged is one of the worst contributions one can make in life, while being true to oneself is one of the best contributions one can make in life! Our entire effect as a person and our whole field of radiating influence is based on our courage and the positive use of the powers we were born with. SHELLS

    • DREAM ON profile image
      Author

      DREAM ON 7 months ago

      Gypsy Rose Lee I love alone time and think of all the things I want to do by looking at all the things I have done and even the things I have tried that didn't work out. I continue to find people who encourage and excite my dreams. Thank you for reading and sharing. We can be happy being alone or together. Have a wonderful day.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 7 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      Wonderful thoughts and so true. I have always looked upon myself as my own best friend.

    • DREAM ON profile image
      Author

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      Nellieanna As we age we develop a pattern of what we have to do and how we should be. Influenced by many molded in different ways to who we are. Somewhere in all of this we have to remember we are the one who casts the final vote to change or stay the same. Being a loving and giving person we can be easily taken advantage of. Then when it happens we feel it was meant to be and our fault. We offered to help. We helped. They accepted and for all our time and effort we could of been used. Why someone would do this to another person I have trouble grasping the concept. When if I did nothing like many other people this person or persons would have the same troubles. I think sometimes when we want to solve the worlds problems we have to let them unravel and spiral out of control. I still will offer to help but in a different way. Some people are takers and will always be that way. Other people are born givers and love and wouldn't have it any other way. I just have to make sure I carefully choose with who I want to be with. I thought I was strong enough to mix with anyone. Then when I see it didn't work out the way I wanted. I beat myself up for not trying harder. For not finding a better way. To much pressure and it only makes me irritable and confused. Realizing I made the choice and I can now make a new choice and continue to change and grow. Those people will find their own way. As I listen and appreciate those who have and continue to help me. I am set free. To appreciate what I have in me. ( not material) My own inner strength to follow my dreams as far as they will take me. I have always known what I like to do but when you put others in front of you it takes time and energy away from you. I thought it just builds character and makes me more humble. Only bettering myself. I have made a mistake that I would not admit or agree. Thinking this makes me weak and a quitter. Giving up on those who call for help. They have to want to change and until they see that no one can help. Thank you as always for reading so many of my hubs and poems. Writing takes us places where we have never been. I find it so magical. I laugh when people say how great Harry Potter was. If they only knew they could pick up a pen and write a story about their only life and it would be more exciting, funnier and all the things they found in a movie they loved so much. Thank you. Shells

    • DREAM ON profile image
      Author

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      ChangingTides2331 It is amazing what we can find and learn about ourselves and then with the slightest change move and do this by ourself. I find it so revealing how did we not know. It takes time and sometimes we get so preoccupied with so many other things we forget the most important (me). Thank you both for wonderful comments. May today be a creative and loving day in so many new ways.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 8 months ago from TEXAS

      There is no way I could adequately express my joy for you to have fully realized your own power and RIGHT to be YOU, but it's 'bigly'! I've watched you for quite awhile as you've unfolded more and more. This seems like a major blossoming!

      You're taking charge of your own driver's seat and the reins to your own multitude of many facets and powers. When this happens, not only are you more free but also more responsible. It's finding 'wholeness'. It is you 'doing' you. You are no-one's puppet. You take full credit for your accomplishments and accept full responsibility for any errors. You are your own standard-setter. All your replies to people's comments further express your new-found (but always 'in there') freedom to BE.

      A book I read a long time ago titled "The Courage to Be" set me thinking of what it means to simple BE. It's not as if one can 'not-be' but in trying to please everyone else's view of what they think we "should" be, we can lose sight of WHO we ARE. That is what we have to work with - our own true BEing. We alone have access to all of it

      We alone know what matters to us and what other issues may be affecting it. When we trip up, we alone know the full story and exactly where to make adjustments to our environment or our thinking to prevent doing it again. We alone can even love our little oddities and peccadillos which make us who we ARE, unique among all the other beings walking around with theirs.

      The best part is being able to accept and forgive your own so-called negative emotions if & when they arise, including, as you named them off,:

      ". . . I give myself the right to feel awful or sad

      Even mad

      Then I can and will make it work

      Feeling better when I want to and when I am ready . . . "

      WOW! It's powerful. You have so much to enjoy, give and to contribute. Being and feeling all-free to be yourself opens the doors you choose to open.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 8 months ago from Orlando, FL

      This is so true. We must learn to feel comfortable with ourselves and love ourselves before we commit to relationships with others. I am finally learning about "me time" and enjoying it very much.

    • ChangingTides2331 profile image

      ChangingTides2331 8 months ago from Danvers, Mass

      Great thoughts

    • DREAM ON profile image
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      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      Michael-Milec There is so much love to be enjoyed. Sometimes we give to others forgetting what are needs are. Shanmarie You think we know ourselves and it is easy to get so driven in our endeavors we lose part of us in the process. When we can fully appreciate quiet times alone we can see the beauty in our life unfold and expand in all directions Shanmarie our dreams change and the things we enjoy may also differe. Then again we can look back at our greatest passions and see how they have guided us in our life. Pushing us to do and be more.MsDora Finding the strength to be who I want and searching for ways to help others can be a fine line easy to cross. Mixed opinions can send me in a frenzy. Shyron E Shenka Carefully respecting others opinions but living my own life. Giving and taking care of myself first so I don't burn out. Keeping grounded in a world of so much diversity. Directing my passion to good things not always trying to fix what's wrong.Thank you all for your wonderful support and comments. Happy Sunday.

    • DREAM ON profile image
      Author

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      Discord srocks I try to take every day struggles and see them through a continuing spiral of colors that bring happiness just by watching. Thank you for reading and caring. When we look in the mirror we love what we see.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 8 months ago from Texas

      Love yourself, but not so much overlook all transgressions

      But enough to forgive them all

      And forgive others who have committed their own

      Never lose sight of your values

      But share them with anyone who wants to atone.

      Blessings my friend

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 8 months ago from The Caribbean

      What a beautiful, healthy concept! When we treat ourselves special, it is easy to treat others likewise.

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 8 months ago

      You met yourself? What a powerful poem here. One that I think many can relate to, including me.

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 8 months ago

      You have expressed it clearly DREAM ON: Discovering "self-love" the sooner the better. We read in the Book 'love your neighbor as yourself.' A problem solved. If I "'love" myself, then I love my "first and closest neighbor " my spouse. What a discovery! I will share my best with my wife only to get the best in return. It will create an extraordinary energy for work and production for giving and receiving, for happiness and healthiness. Yes Sir, people who love themselves never hurt others, you know that and you are a blessed man.

    • Discordzrocks profile image

      Gavin Heinz 8 months ago from Austin TX

      Beautiful poem, its very smart in its wording. Very nicely done indeed.

    • DREAM ON profile image
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      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      Jodah When we are small our parents did the best to instill special good core values that help us through our life. Other people including family members and friends also help us along to help form our lives. When we get older we fine tune what we like and who we are. In our busy lives it is easy to lose focus spending too much time in work that can take away from our family goals. Thank you for reading and commenting. Making sure our health doesn't suffer in an effort to accomplish and do more.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 8 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Most of us share our lives with other people, Dream On, and we have to make compromises in certain situations to ensure harmony. Sometimes however, we try to please the other person at the expense of our own happiness and what is good for us. We need to remember that we have to take time to sometimes put ourselves first. As Ann said we need to love ourselves first before others can love us.

    • DREAM ON profile image
      Author

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      annart We meet so many people in our life that have an influence on what we do. We can forget who we are and what we want. Spending time alone getting to know ourselves makes us whole again. Thank you for reading and sharing. The sun shines so bright I have to look away from the light. Wouldn't it be great if that light was the light from inside of each of us finally revealed. Have a great day.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 8 months ago from SW England

      Amen to that! 'To thine own self be true' - is that Shakespeare? I'm not sure. However, it's a saying worth living up to.

      If we can't be ourselves and love ourselves then who can we be. They say that if we love ourselves, then we can love others and they can love us. I believe in that.

      Great poem.

      Ann