I Still Love You
I live each day wearing a fake smile,
Beneath which lies a sad heart that only cries.
I heard your voice today after a long time.
I don't remember when I had heard it for the last time.
It felt as if I had found a part of me that was missing.
Something for which I would give away everything.
The voice I heard today is forcing
All the long buried memories back into my head.
Silently the tears I had stored in my eyes,
Are flowing out making my pillow wet.
The pictures of the moments we had spent together,
Are blocking my vision like the black thunder.
Lying here at this time of night,
I ask myself if loving you was such a big blunder?
You've ruined my life & have taken away
Almost everything I've ever wanted.
Leaving behind your memories,
By which I'm being haunted.
You betrayed me though I loved you sincerely.
You gave me nothing but tears,
When all I ever wanted was to see you smile.
I've always dreamt of spending my life by your side
But now all I wanna do is die.
You said you loved me
And that you cared about me.
You lied to me all this time,
Can you please tell me why??
I childishly pray that someday you would return to me
Hold me in your arms & swear to be true to me.
But when I see you with another girl,
I'm forced to wake up & accept reality.
I know you love me not.
I even know you want me not.
But the desire to want you
And love you is killing me.
Can't you see how much I love you
Even when all you've ever given me is pain?
Can't you see I'm ready to die for you,
Even though you've cheated me again & again?
You were everything I had dreamt of,
But for you it was nothing but a mere game.
How can I forget you, when my lips know only your name?
I know its stupid but yes its true
Even after all this "I still love you!"
© Hajira Ehsan