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A Letter From a Policeman

Updated on October 6, 2010

To: Council and Citizens Alike

I was showering one day when this thought came to me. Why do people get angry at me for doing my job? I decided to write a letter to the concerned public.

Dear Ordinary Citizen:

Do you like people who are lazy?

People who work harder at not working than working?

Those are simple enough questions which have complex answers.

Before I ran out of hot water in the shower, I came up with a few analogies in reference to my query. While they are a petty attempt at humor it is an all too real scenario which often happens to me because I do my job. I refuse to be the cop eating donuts while sitting at The Waffle House, which happens to be an excellent segue into this subject.

Do you enjoy going to a restaurant with your wife only to see your waiter over in the corner laughing and joking with other workers, even smoking cigarettes or worse scratching their buttocks, while your beer glass has gone empty and you still haven't been served your 24 oz. Ribeye cooked to a glorious medium rare?

Your kids are clamoring for more yeast rolls and honey butter. Your wife found her fork was dirty, she is pissed, but the waiter is smoking and scratching, so you wait!

I think the answer to that question would be a resounding no. You would probably seek the manager to lodge a complaint. Then you would want to go into a huge tirade about welfare and lazy ass people and how it is always your luck with waiters. After all, you only wanted to have a nice steak and a beer with your wife. This lazy waiter has ruined it all, but you leave without saying anything and have your tirade privately in the car. Besides you paid the waiter back by not leaving a tip.

These are the people you should be angry with, but life is funny, you get angry at the guy doing his job and doing it well.

With this in mind we move on to the next question.

Under normal shopping conditions do you ask the cashier to let it slide or look the other way? Do you ask for a discount or a break on normal merchandise in the checkout line at Wal-Mart?

No, you pay full price and move on out of the store on your way home.

Did you get angry with the cashier for having the audacity to scan your merchandise then read what the register displayed as balance due?

That would be ludicrous! Who, in their right mind would act in such a manner?

How could anyone be angry at someone for a simple thing such as doing your job?

It happens to me every day. I am ridiculed and threatened. People call in to my office attempting to, "Have my job".

My job is how I feed and house my wife and kids. Why do people want to have us starve to death and be homeless when I simply do what I am expected to do by the same people they call at the office to complain?

When you balance your checkbook at the end of the month, do you get angry at the bank for charging a fee to hold your money, the very money you earned?

No, you keep putting your money in the account. You made a decision to do that. Not one time did you go and try to have the accounts receivable department fired for doing their job.

One day, you were driving down the road on your way to the same Wal-Mart, the one with the honest cashier. This time you were in a hurry, because you woke up later than usual, time was running out to get what you need and get back home to get ready for work. You were driving a little too fast, the speed limit was 55 but you were doing 70, a conscious decision.

A Police Officer pulls you over and writes a citation for speeding. He was as nice as anyone could be, but you were angry and started verbally berating the guy because he was doing his job. After you get done with your tirade he hands you your stuff and a copy of your ticket that you earned and grins.

Apparently grinning is an offensive thing to people, I have grinned a time or two when people act foolish. Without fail they will try and have me fired and left to starve to death because of something they did and I had the balls to grin about it.

They also think I should give them a pass or let it slide. Nobody expects that from the cashiers or any other person who works and does their job.

This makes no sense to me. I'm not a "Gung-Ho" Police Officer, I simply do my job when I see someone violating the law. You have due process! Use it.

I have played both sides of the fence on the cop eating donuts at The Waffle House issue. I made an attempt a couple of years ago to be lazy and do absolutely nothing but drink Diet Mtn. Dew and eat ribs. I was forced into this by other lazy ass cops with titles. I let people slide and did nothing, I had to stop cars for paperwork purposes to make it look like I had been working. Nevertheless, even being sent away with a friendly warning, I grinned one time too many and calls came in. This went on for a year, I decided being lazy sucks, I learned no matter what an Officer does, people inherently will try to have them starve to death and be homeless. I weighed it out in my mind and decided to get them before they get me.

The next time you are at work and need to get something done or the boss is going to fire you, please do it half ass and without any effort. According to you this is to be expected and rewarded.

Do it for the police. That's what you want us to do, that is until your house is burglarized and we know who did it.

All of a sudden I'm your friend and valiant. I haven't forgotten what you said to me when you were violating the law.

This is a different crime, a different day, maybe you were correct after all. I think I will let it slide, look the other way and hand out free passes. People make mistakes, maybe they didn't mean to steal your TV and cash.


Ole Number One


When you see me, I don't find it amusing for you to hold up your hands while saying, "I didn't do it" or "It wasn't me."

I want to kick you in your spleen when you say that!


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      ollie 7 years ago

      it wasn't me!!