“I” “We” and “Us”, A Short Story/Monologue
Who we are, who we wish to be, who we eventually become. Such human interests never fail to appear within my mind, dampened by my failing sense of humanity, a humanity which was always at its core completely false. Since these questions still linger, I will attempt a discourse based upon my own experience, perhaps this will satisfy these questions. Who am I? I am Rathiel, We are Rathiel. We are a being of light, one of darkness, and that phantom between from which we derive our semblance of humanity.
We are that which makes the “I” which refers to himself as Rathiel, as the Wraith, whom once referred to himself as the Protector. There is no I, in truth, in relation to our self, but in order to further this inquiry it is a term of which we must make use of. For the others who may rightly call themselves I: you are who you are, I am who I am, so you are and so am I. What of the next question, how might I answer this?
This...confounds me; I’m asking myself another question in response. Who do I wish to become, in the personal sense? I could answer this in three ways. In the far past, I wished to be the protector. Not too long ago, I wished the same, but did so by becoming the person whom referred to himself as Wraith. Now...and for the future I would assume, I wish only to be one who is at peace, I desire Dao. I am...we are...tired. That is all I wish to say on that matter.
Who will I, or rather...have I become? That is an easy question to answer, yet not so easy to dispel from my mind...this maddens me. I am tired, as I said before...we are tired. Others have told me, though they are all long dead now, that I could fix this easily, that I might...follow them into what awaits on the other side. After all, it is in my kind’s power to do so, not the same as a mortal passing to the hereafter, not but an act of will for myself. This is what maddens m- no, not me, us. This is what maddens us! What value do these pretty ideas and notions have with us?
Something ties us to this world... I know not what that may be, though it exists. I am not satisfied with forsaking this world as nothing, but we...we can not stand the here and now. Time is a curse, as is prolonged experience...as is choice. What are the natures of the three things mentioned? I couldn't care less, for it is something which we have since been far removed from. The act of writing this should be no different, though I can no longer stop, nor remember why we started. – Rathiel Ushiwara
This is pretty much reality from the viewpoint of a character I created a long time ago. He happens to be one the main characters of the novel I'm working on, and my favorite creation of all time. At this point, he's been around for quite a long time, and he'd questioning things. As for his referring to himself in different ways it's because he's a being that contains three souls. If you'd like to see more, please let me know with a comment.