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I Woke For You

Updated on October 4, 2013

The first time I woke for no apparent reason, I felt around the bed.

Even with sleep in my eyes I knew you weren’t there. The icy

frost on the windows didn’t compare to those sheets. The space

where you belonged was empty and cold. Where were you? Soon

I was awake enough to walk through our home. The smooth dark blue

blanket warmed my shoulders as I moved. When I heard running

water I knew you were working. Ron crawled out of bed and started to run

ahead of me. I smiled. That dog loved his fluffy bed

but the loyal hair ball would always come out from his baby blue

blanket to see if the coast was clear. I shivered. There was ice

on the windows. I tightened my grip on the blanket. Soon

we’d see our breath. I went into the kitchen. The smaller space

was warmer. The cup of water was next to your work space.

I wrapped the blanket around us both. You would have run

yourself into the ground at that pace. Soon

you broke the cozy silence. You said we’d need a bigger bed

for when the baby crawled in. I looked at your flat belly and iced

up. Planned as it was, I was still dazed. You asked if I wanted blue

or pink. You wanted an answer; good health wasn’t enough. Blue

was all I could say. You watched silently so I said pink. The Space

between our words grew. I looked at a kitchen window. Some ice

had melted. I saw the moon and thought of him. Was running

away genetic? You knew me so well. Going back to bed,

we snuggled close as you assured me of myself. You said soon

our baby would be there. You said we’d be a great team and soon

we’d start. We talked for hours before you asked again. Blue

or pink? I said I didn’t know. When small noises came from Ron’s bed

we wondered how he’d react to sharing his home, his space,

with a baby. We wondered if our child would want to run

after the dog. We thought ahead to the first steps, words, ice

cream cake. Would ours be that awkward child that didn’t like ice

cream? I smiled at the idea of you carrying our baby. Soon

we grew tired. We were silent for a while before I vowed not to run.

You smiled, knowing you were right to have faith in me. Blue

or pink didn’t matter. We both knew there was too much space

between my father and I for me to be like him. I’d see our child go to bed

every night. I wouldn’t run. We’d see him in his first blue

little league jersey or see her eating her first grape icy. Soon

our space was warm and we slept comfortably in our bed.

© 2013 info-overload


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