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I could share it more

Updated on July 15, 2012

I’m as human as you are

As bent and broken

I just understand it better than most

Not all

I doubt myself, I hurt myself, I hate myself

But I’m wonderful and beautiful too

I believe in myself, I heal myself, I love myself

Perhaps that’s why I feel caught in the middle sometimes

I have a great anger in me

I touch it to understand

But its source eludes me

I try to quell its flame

Yet it burns anyway

I have great kindness in me

I show it when I care

A gift I give when I choose

I could share it more

I’m lost but yet I’m not

It hurts and brings me pleasure

Sometimes I can’t tell which is what

I want to find myself

But I hide as best I can

I try to live in the moment

But I’m pulled to what was or might be

I try to understand

But part of me doesn’t want to know

I think that if you look deep within

You’ll find much the same in you

©2000 R.Kane

AKA Richard Kane

I wrote this in a period of my life when I had lost my lover of 14 years, I was having major medical problems and it was just before I found sobriety. The anger has faded, the self hatred has withered away and I recently decided to stop hiding. So here I am.



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    • rkane3 profile image

      Richard Kane 5 years ago from Oakland CA

      When I loose someone, aside from the grief. I'm always thankful and treasure the time I did get to have with them.

    • pennyofheaven profile image

      pennyofheaven 5 years ago from New Zealand

      You explain well the battles within that happen in all of us. It is never an easy time losing a loved one. The battle tends to heighten. It is true though deep within the surface of our minds is the kind and loving person that you are. Very deep and meaningful. Thank you for sharing!