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I Need Lots of Money

Updated on April 12, 2016

The Power of Money

Everyone loves you, everyone is looking for you. I love you too my dear, but you hate me. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I can assure you, you are beautiful to all. They admire you; they all stare at you and they are amazed by your power(s). People can do anything for you, and what about me? Can I do anything for you? Well, I am not sure.

Money Used in Kenya

Some Kenyans notes used as a medium of exchange
Some Kenyans notes used as a medium of exchange | Source

Money, Why Do You Hate Me?

Money, why do you hate me? I love you with all my heart, but it seems like you hate me, you detest me. You are plotting to kill me, to exterminate me from the face of the earth. Yes, that is something you cannot deny. Can you tell me why you have been hiding from me? When you see me passing by, you jump into trenches, you hide in dark corners and crevices like a heathen roach, but when I pass, you come out of your hiding place and start rejoicing, mocking me, telling your cousins, “look at him, he can’t see us, he can’t find us, he will die poor”. And then you laugh at me. You jeer at me and when I turn back you run as fast as deer.

Coins Used in Kenya

Coins used as a medium of exchange in Kenya
Coins used as a medium of exchange in Kenya | Source

The Disappearing Money

On several occasions when I have been lucky to have you in my pocket, you end up tearing my pocket and disappearing, leaving my pocket with gaping holes. Where you go to I don’t know. Allow me to sing this song to you, ‘where do you go my lovely …’ sorry I am not talented in singing; I don’t even know the rest of it. Oh money where are you when I need you desperately? Why do you hate me? Why are you always hiding away from me? Or you are a coward? Yes! Yes! Now I know you fear me, you don’t want to come close to me. But why do you fear me? Why do you hide from me? Why do you mock me? Why are you driving me crazy, what did I do to you? Tell me, I need to know.

Money Goes Where There is Money

Money, why do you love other people than you love me? I even have a feeling that they don't love you in such a way you think, you only befriend them. Let me ask you, why do you follow them wherever they go? What did they give you that I haven't? Tell me and I will give it to you right now. We are told that some were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Let me ask you, where is mine? I should be having one. Who stole it? Who took it away from me? Look at the cars of those you have befriended, they are fuel-guzzlers whereas I can't even afford kerosene for cooking my food. You are laughing at me now. You are asking me why I can't use gas or electricity. You have forgotten how expensive they are.

Befriending Money

Tell me money, what can I do so that we can be friends. Every time I have you in my pocket you are always busy that you can't even rest for a moment. You are always eager to fly away like a bird. I almost forgot to ask you, what is wrong with my pockets? Why can't you stay in my wallet? Or is it because it's old, very old indeed? And mind you, it hasn't been aged because of carrying a lot of money, but because I keep on constantly checking if there is anyone of you left in my pocket.

I Hid You in A Bank

The last time I thought I was very clever, I hid you in a bank, how did you manage to escape because the last time I went back there to get you, I was told that my account was overdrawn. Oh I remember, I had left you there, many of you and your children, where I was promised you would start reproducing. I was a very happy man. I remember what you did, you kept on crying for me to come and get you. You used to say that that was a jail and you did not belong to jail. So, instead of adding more of you, I ended up subtracting. I would take you for shopping and you would refuse to come out of the supermarket. I would leave almost all of you there, only to be given some coins. I remember now, sometimes you could call for me to come and rescue you. Then, after that you would advise me to go and water my thirst throat in the nearby club and I would follow your bidding without a question. There, together with my friends we would enjoy ourselves, drinking beer after beer. On Monday I would report to work with a murderous hangover the size of Mount Kenya. My pockets would all be empty safe for the handkerchief and my old mobile phone.

Man Made Money

Tell me, why do you keep on tricking me? Why do you control me instead of vice versa? But of all, I would like to know why you hate me. Please tell me money, why are you and your kids plotting to kill me. You know very well I can't leave without you. Everything I do in this world except breathing I can't do without you. What did I do to you so that you can punish me like this? Have you heard of what humans says?

God made man,

Man made money,

Money made man mad.

Dreaming About Money

Okay, tell me this, why do you torment me at night. I told you that you are plotting to kill me, yet you have not proved me wrong. All night long, I dream of you, I dream of nice cars, a nice home, good food, good clothing, I dream that I am rich, we have become friends with you and you are now working for me. I dream that all my debtors have paid me back to the last coin. When the alarm wakes me up in the morning, dazed by the haunting dreams; my heart aches when I remember that I don't even have bus fare to enable me reach my place of work. Without an option I join other hundreds of people with hungry eyes and we trek to work with our empty stomachs rumbling like thunder.

I Am Hardworking, Yet No Money

Aha! Look at me; am hardworking, waking up very early in the morning before dawn break and returning home late at night bone tired, creeping silently like a cornered thief not to wake my sleepy neighbors’. And when I reach for my wallet to count how many of you I have, what I find is only coins burdening my already tired wallet. The best of you have flown away from me.

Hardworking Nairobians

Nairobians walking to their places of work
Nairobians walking to their places of work | Source

Working Smart

Money let me tell you this, I am not afraid of you, keep on hiding from me, but I am going to catch you, and then you will start working for me. When that time comes, I will stop working hard as a donkey and start working smart.

I Need Some Money

Money Question

Are You Comfortable With the Money you Have?

See results

© 2012 Patrick Kamau


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    • Patkay profile image

      Patrick Kamau 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      dwachira, thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad you liked it.

    • dwachira profile image

      [ Danson Wachira ] 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Very interesting Patkay, i like it.

    • Patkay profile image

      Patrick Kamau 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Emmanuel Kariuki, things are bad. Imagine even with the discovery of oil in Turkana, they are still pushing the prices up. What will happen to those with gapping holes in their pockets? Well, let us wait and see. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • Patkay profile image

      Patrick Kamau 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Thanks Teresa Schultz for your compliments. I am glad that you enjoyed reading the hub. I am hoping that money is not giving you nightmares!

    • Emmanuel Kariuki profile image

      Emmanuel Kariuki 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya


      I was attracted by the title and thought I would find a way to set snares for the elusive money. Now I realize we might need to call the elders and 'sacrifice a goat.'The Petrol price just went up and that means the little in the pocket will flow out faster, and the expected one will be more pocket-phobic than ever before.

      Thanks for getting me out of a reverie. I have to go and work.

    • Teresa Schultz profile image

      Teresa Schultz 5 years ago from East London, in South Africa

      Oh what an enjoyable read that was! - very creative and clever how you can take the topic of money and turn it into this excellent piece of creative writing - well done!

    • Patkay profile image

      Patrick Kamau 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Thanks gramarye for reading and commenting. Glad that you liked it.

    • gramarye profile image

      gramarye 5 years ago from Adelaide - Australia

      Very well written and funny!

    • Patkay profile image

      Patrick Kamau 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Thanks suziecat7 for dropping by and commenting. Thanks for the compliment too.

    • suziecat7 profile image

      suziecat7 5 years ago from Asheville, NC

      Great Hub - glad I found you.

    • Patkay profile image

      Patrick Kamau 6 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Dr Kavita Shaikh, forget about my 'love-hate relationship' with money, this is just madness that sometimes attacks writers. But when writing I had to question myself about money and I did not find many answers I can assure you. Thanks a lot for reading and commenting, I appreciate your stopping by. All the best.

    • Dr Kavita Shaikh profile image

      Dr Kavita Shaikh 6 years ago from MUSCAT

      Patkay, money is not everything, but definitely is something. Money is the root cause of all evil, yet people crave for this evil as if their lives depended upon it. Anyway best of luck to you in earning more and ending the love-hate rationship between you and money. Voted up

    • Patkay profile image

      Patrick Kamau 6 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      lucy patrick thanks a lot for reading and commenting. I agree with you, we all need money.

    • profile image

      lucy patrick 6 years ago

      Beautiful. We all need money patkay.