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In My Bedroll

Updated on September 2, 2014

By: Wayne Brown

The stars are a-twinkling and oh a heavenly sight

It’s great to be under the broad prairie sky tonight

That starry night sky is ever so big, bright, and bold

But I’m worried…I think something is in my bedroll

I made my camp over here in the shadow of the rocks

But there ain’t no walls around and no door that locks

I heard something rattle and it scared me to my soul

Damn! I think I there is something hiding in my bedroll

I keep sitting out here drinking hot coffee by the fire

There ain’t much wood left; enough for another hour

But when I yearn of sleep, I shiver like I’m really cold

I cannot imagine what is hiding there in my bedroll

I know the prairie night can play tricks upon the mind

But I know this world is froth with dangers of all kind

I wish I could get some sleep in the warmth of a blanket fold

But I’m pretty sure I hear a rattling comin’ from my bedroll

Maybe I ought to move it over here; heat it by the fire

Get it so hot that what’s hiding there will run for its lair

Oh I would do it if I could muster the courage to grab hold

But I’m scared to touch it; there’s something in my bedroll

The fire is dying down now and I’m sitting in the dark

There’s nothing left for light; only some char and spark

And just as I’m about the give in for a sleep out in the cold

A big ol’ fat rattlesnake slithers out the side of my bedroll

I jump up wide awake and do a big ol’ funny hoppin’ dance

It is the best I can muster to keep from pissin’ in my pants

But that ol’ rattle-tail don’t notice, just simply crawls away

And I grab up my bedroll and move quickly along my way

If you plan to sleep out underneath the big prairie sky

Keep in mind there are lots of critters in the nearby

Remember if want to keep on livin’; to grow very old

You had better check for critters hidin’ in your bedroll

©Copyright WBrown2013. All Rights Reserved.

11 January 2013


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    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @Vincent Moore....Amen to that, Ken...too close to home. Thanks much! ~WB

      @Sunnie Day....Thanks Much! ~WB

      @PegCole17...Good story...I don't like spiders and snakes either! Or was that Jim Stafford who said that? LOL! Thanks much! ~WB

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 5 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Oh Wayne, this was so funny. I could picture the 'funny hoppin' dance' that you must have done. What great imagery and a fun read. Snakes in a bed roll is worse than snakes on a plane. lol

      We gave a snake the "Vincent" treatment too. One was curled up inside the hubcap of our truck, so we got in on the passenger side and took off. You could hear the thump, thump as we drove away. I don't think he made it in one piece. Bye bye snake.

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      lol...well the title alone had me scrambling over...will not forget to check my bed roll for critters for sure..very funny and creative! Thanks for the smiles!

    • profile image

      Vincent Moore 5 years ago

      You got that right cowboy. Those critters show up when least expecting and can make for some pretty bad company. When I was truckin I was in your beautiful state, comes out of a truck stop after having my lunch to a rattlesnake sunbathing on my drivers side front tire. I got in the passenger side, started up my rig and drove off, don't don't if he fell off or became part of my tire tread? lol Yup we don't want a rattler in our bedrolls or anywhere for that matter thats to close to home.

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @carol7777....Thanks much, Carol, so glad you enjoyed it! ~WB

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 5 years ago from Arizona

      Great poem and so many true words.

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @teaches12345....Glad I could create some fun for you. Thanks much! ~WB

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      That is why I do not like camping -- those critters are everywhere! Thanks for the humor in my day.

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @CMerritt...That's way I stay at the Holiday Inn Express, makes you smarter! LOL! Thanks much! ~WB

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      I think I now understand WHY I always wanted to be a cowbow, when I was.......... a KID! Heck, now I have a hard time crawling into a Holiday Inn bed without checking it out real good first!

      Funny stuff! lol

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @drbj...Doc you gotta start writing some could be making big bucks like me! LOL! Thanks much for the verse! ~WB

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Before I go to bed I plan to shake well my bedroll

      If any critter is hiding I'll make its ugly head roll.

      Now that I have your attention,

      Perhaps I should also mention,

      Snakes and scorpions are not welcome as I said LOL.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 5 years ago

      Dear Wayne,

      Your Dad gave you great advice!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @breakfastpop...My Dad always taught me (from his Army days)....never walk when you can fly and never sleep on the ground if there is a bed available...still there can be critters there! LOL! Thanks, Poppy! ~WB

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 5 years ago

      Wayne, this is exactly why I never camp out!!!!! Up and funny. I don't even trust a mattress in a 5 star hotel!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @fpherj48....The power of suggestion can do some tricks on us they say. I wouldn't know! LOL! Thanks, Paula! ~WB

      @Gypsy Rose Lee...I would hav been right there with you, GRL! Snakes and I do not get along at all! Thanks much! ~WB

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. This was so delightful. I loved it. I'd probably have run so fast I'd be in the next county if that bedroll had started moving. lol Passing this on.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! One incredibly long, loud, piercing & blood curdling scream ...and I would drop DEAD!......Now I have the Heebie-Jeebies, Wayne! Power of suggestion. I feel creepy crawlies all over me. And we don't even have rattle snakes!.....Thanks!...UP+++

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @WillStarr...Yeah, Lord...check my britches! LOL! Thanks much! ~WB

      @Becky Katz...Sorry, Becky...I'm not retaining! LOL! ~WB

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      Wayne, it was his brother, not my dad. heehee

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Good one, Wayne!

      Those cowboys who once slept out under the stars learned to shake out their boots and pants of a morning, because critters liked the warmth and safety! There was no telling what might be in there!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @shiningirisheyes...That is very true from Fort Worth to west of Phoenix in this side of the world...critters everywhere! Thanks much! ~WB

      @Becky Katz...Sounds like a good plan and one I will try if I decide to sleep under the stars anytime soon. That scorpion would have been a real home-wrecker if you dad had not vacated when he did! LOL! Thanks much! ~WB

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      My great uncle always said that if you didn't want rattles in your bedroll. to loop your lasso around your bedroll. They don't crawl over that scratchy thing. Mu uncle never found a snake in his bedroll but he forgot to shake out his pants before climbing in them. He climbed out real quick when he felt the scorpion in there with him. Flashed my momma when he did too. heeheehee

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      LOL! Great advise as critters can be found in ANY type of bead roll! Whether under the stars or under a roof, ALWAYS check for critters in your bed roll. giggle giggle....