If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time What Would Have Changed
Sitting outside with mom who has been battling Cancer since October 2009 , looking out at the trees, listening to the birds and quiet reflecting what was happening at the moment. I thought quietly to myself, " If I could turn back the hands of time", things would have been different. Our father would still be here, my Uncle would not be battling for his life either, people in the past some of them would not have even existed. There are people that are missed and others I would rather not see ever again, life was different. Looking at mom's eyes I know that God is getting her through each passing day and she has finally accepted that when he does call her home, she is fine with it. There are things that we still have to do and other things that is a little speckle of dust that we can overlook right now. I have learned to forgive those who have harmed me or caused pain, out of anger people do hurtful things. But if I could turn back the hands of time, the decisions that I made would have been different. I would embrace those who were truly our friends, find more time for those that we loved, laugh more, love more and not worry about the little things that appear so large when in reality they are nothing but a tiny speck of dust that really isn't as important as life itself.
Many times we ask ourselves what we could have done differently , maybe we should have held the door open for the elderly woman at the grocery store. Is there really any reason to yell at someone when they cut you off on the highway/freeway? Certainly it was a mere oversight or they didn't pay attention. Are all of us so perfect that we have forgotten our manners? Sometimes we wish that we could have said, " I love you", one last time. Why do we regret things after they happen? Out of anger humans in general do things they should not and then realize they have harmed the person unintentionally. We love , we laugh, we cry but if we could turn back the hands of time what would we do differently? With mom talking I became oblivious to what she was discussing, her speech a little impaired from the Gamma Knife she went through, her hands trembled as she sipped her glass of water. The mother I knew was happy, full of laughter and edgy. Now her words trembled, Was I wrong for taking her back home one last time to Iowa in 2008? The same time we were trying to save a house, sale the house, and pray that we would have great jobs and remain in Iowa? We enjoyed Iowa and we also ran into hateful people along the way. But sometimes people do things out of anger, stress or feeling overwhelmed so forgiveness is always given. Would anyone have done things in the past differently? If only we had more time with the person we loved, if only we could laugh more with the ones that are now gone. We could never turn back the hands of time, but we can learn to love, laugh and appreciate those who are near and dear to us even more. We can stop worrying about the person on the highway/freeway who cut us off, it is only a speck of dust. We do not know why they cut us off maybe there was a family emergency? Don't we have families to? We could forgive the person who has harmed us or was hateful to us, life is to short isn't it? We can correct our wrongdoings with doing right to others, and we can treasure life isn't that what is important? Being wrongfully accused of crimes that are not committed are also a sin, so forgive those who have harmed you. Act out of love and not anger, listen and learn from each other so we do not have any regrets because yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised. Live each day like it is your last, embrace those that you love and forgive those who have hurt you. Do not let your heart turn into stone and always take responsibility for your actions,the next time someone upsets you just let it go, without any regrets and forgive them, those moments are just a little speck of dust compared to what life really is.
Open the doors before tomorrow is gone.