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If I Were. . .

Updated on August 14, 2016
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You were expecting a kitten, not a pole cat?
You were expecting a kitten, not a pole cat? | Source
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If I were a small turtle

I'd tuck my head inside my shell

Then I'd stay right there a spell

And if I were a turtle

Then I might play peek-a-boo

See me staring back at you?


If I were a kitty cat

I'd sleep all throughout the day

After chasing the mice away

If I were indeed a cat

I think I should like to purr

'Cause I'm more than sleep and fur


If I were a black widow

You would live in fear of me

You'd tremble when it's me you see

And if I were that widow

I'd take a big bite of you

That's exactly what I'd do!


© 2013 Shannon

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    • Sunny River profile image

      Sunny River 3 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality

      Hahahaha that's great! Drawing us in with the cute things and then bam! Deadly spider attack! Lol. Great poem! :)

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      So glad you enjoyed my humor, Sunny River!

    • RealityTalk profile image

      RealityTalk 3 years ago from Planet Earth

      I like the picture of the pole cat. I was expecting a picture of something a little different.

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, RealityTalk. I'd sure love a pet skunk, but that one was just one that hung around my back door for several weeks a year or two ago.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Yipes!!! I am afraid of spiders and i'm not very fond of turtles, but i like your poem.....

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Ahahaha, Ruby! I don't like spiders either, don't mind most turtles (except maybe those ugly aligator ones and the snapping ones that might bite me), but I love cats (including pole cats)! I don't like spiders either. I was almost afraid you were going to tell me about a real spider addiction when I read your spider solitare poem. ;)

    • RealityTalk profile image

      RealityTalk 3 years ago from Planet Earth

      shanmarie, when I was a kid (when dinosaurs walked the Earth), a friend of mine had a pet skunk. His mom actually approved of it. She claimed it made a great pet. They said they had the "stink" glands removed, so it was harmless. So there is hope if you want one as a pet.

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      If that's a current profile picture, you're no dinosaur! I'd love to have a pet skunk. They do remove the glands, but they are not legal to own as a pet in Texas. Otherwise, I'd totally have one!

    • RealityTalk profile image

      RealityTalk 3 years ago from Planet Earth

      shanmarie, It's a current picture. I'm 56, but well preserved.

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Yes indeed. :)

    • MrsBrownsParlour profile image

      Lurana Brown 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

      These are really fun, well-written verses! Excellent job! :-) Lurana

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, Lurana. I was just goofing off here. haha

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      Wonderful shanmarie and voted up of course. Enjoy your weekend.

      Eddy.

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, Eddy! You have a wonderful weekend as well!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Cute and delightful poetry.

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, Gypsy!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Aww... this is too adorable; I particularly like the kitty cat :D

      Four weeks ago? How did I miss that? Oh... and I pushed your Google+ ... but it didn't bring me to you!

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      I don't know how you missed it. LOL. Was on a day I think I published a few hubs. My Google+ button....lemme go check that out. Might go to my CMN page, but I merged those accounts, I think.

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Cat, the Google+ on HP profile? It goes to me.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      No... it's not working for me... are we already Google+ friends? lol

      I'll check again... and yes, aren't you supposed to be sending or posting a link for that interview?

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      I could swear that I did. LOL, but I'll do it again. And, it says you +ed me back, so guess we're following each other now. haha

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Yes... you don't even want to know what I had to go through to find you! lol... and I'm telling you, when I push your google+ button... it just brings me to Google+?

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Dunno why. When I push it, it goes to my Google+ account. Hmmmmm

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      hmmm is right... I'd like to know what it's doing for others.... I'm going to go check min now.

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      When I click on yours it goes to your page.

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Just how cute is this? :)

      I think you would make a great children's writer.This one was quite magical.It would be a crime of conscience not to share this one, as it's awesome in its simplicity.

      Enjoy a wonderful weekend;

      Yours Sincerely,

      Romeo's Quill

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      A crime of conscience, eh? Thanks for that. Not quite sure the spider is quite child appropriate, though. Hehe. You have a good weekend, too.

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Perhaps you could 'Cartoonify'(is there such a word? - there is now lol!), the creatures to make them more kid-friendly? Who knows, but you could be on to something here.

      Have a cracking night;

      R.Q.

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Um, cracking is not a phrase used to mean what I think you mean around here. ;) But, you have a good night.

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 3 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      What a cute poem! This would be great to read aloud to kids!

    • shanmarie profile image
      Author

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Hahaha. . .thanks, Rebecca! I was merely goofing off when I wrote this one. I'm not so sure the end verse is so kid-friendly. LOL

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