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If It's HOT Here.....I Can't Go to Hell!

Updated on December 21, 2013

I am not alone.....

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OH MY!

It just don't make no sense how hot it is here! I know it is summer all over this hemisphere, and I know that my state is not considered to be the hottest place in the nation, but, I don't care how hot y'all are.... all I know is that this heat here... (OOOOOh , help me please!)

I suppose I shouldn't complain, but I am. I know most of you folk have healthy air-conditioners blowing a steady stream of cool air all around you. In fact, you probably relish coming into your homes when you have finished your daily duties.

Well, I did too until my central air died. In my mind its death was premature. It should have had a long and fruitful life.... but noooo... it just jumped up one day and said, "I am ready to go to glory!", and without further discussion, it departed. Leaving me high and dry.


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It's HOT!!!

I'm sitting here with sweat pouring down my back. It's running like water, my breathing is shallow and my vision is beginning to blur... should I stop writing and get some Gatorade? Surely my electrolights are diminishing...

I'm pretty educated so I understand that summer is the result of the location of the earth with regard to the sun. But, that information doesn't help stop the sweat that is running in my eyes.

I am in the South, fresh lemonade, sweet ice tea and all other local refreshments are not cooling me off. They taste mighty fine, but as soon as I finish one glass, the sweat pops out on my forehead. Jeez Louise it's HOT!

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It Don't Make No Sense!!!

Originally from the west-coast and able to literally walk to the beach; no matter how hot it got out there, one could make it to the water and cool off. Additonally, summer out there was reasonable. Hottest in the day and cooler in the night.

Gawga, (Georgia) is not as reasonable. Hot in the day before dawn, hot in the mid-day, hot in the evening and hotter after dark. How is that possible???!!! I was taught that the sun shines brightest at noon-day because it is at its highest point. I took that to mean that the hottest part of the day, regardless of season would be noon-day... Well, that just ain't true in Gawga.

The hottest part of the day could be anytime... I know that the hottest time in my house is after 3pm! I miss my air conditioner.

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Whole new meaning to the term "fire-hose".
Whole new meaning to the term "fire-hose". | Source

I Repent...

I love old movies and when I lived on the west-coast I saw plenty of them. Most, if not all of the movies that took place in the south depicted people walking slowly, moving slowly, and sweating profusely. Most of them held their hair together with heavy grease or some goop that made it stay in place. If the movie was reflecting the old south, there would always be a Southern Belle fainting or a man wiping his neck and brow with a handkerchief and barefoot children looking for the riverbank.

I used to laugh at that. I was smug and thought they were being melodramatic. That is until I got down here. (Help Me, Father, Help Me!). I REPENT!

We drove across the country from the west-coast and when I drove into the visitors center in the great state of Louisiana, I was in for a surprise. It was lovely, beautiful flowering trees, the greenest green grass and a fabulous blue sky.

I politely exited my air-conditioned car with great expectation to smell the tree blossoms. Well, honey-chile, all I got a whiff of when I got out of that car was hot, wet air. My nose was in shock and couldn't smell.

I finally understood the concept of "sweltering heat". The air was 3 inches thick and wringing wet. My finely designed coiffure fell into a flat mess on the top of my head... If I hadn't had a perm it would have shriveled up into a reddish brown cotton ball. (Thank God for perms). I now understood about the greasy hair look....I now understood why the men were wiping their necks and wiping their brows, and, I was now looking for a barefoot kid who could lead me to the rivers edge.

I tell you, I wasn't out of my car 5 minutes when my cute outfit began to cling to me like I had showered with it on. Are y'all listenin'? I mean, I wasn't outta that car 5 full minutes before droplets of sweat were converging on my forehead, my arms and my legs... lawdy, lawdy, lawdy... It's HOT!

I now understood why Southern Belles fainted, men wiped their brows and people crawl instead of walk. It's because it's HOT!

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How Much Longer? Me Thinks T'will N'er End!

How long is summer? 3 months? And, 3 months is roughly 90 days, right?

We have had 63 days of +90 degree days. Do you believe it...? That's almost the whole summer. There are only 27 days left until Fall... Well, I pray that Fall actually does "fall" right here on top of us and push this devastating heat out into whatever section of the world it is complaining about being cold and waiting for Summer.

Praise Him! (my hair looks like a reddish brown cotton ball). I am playing it off though...I'm telling everyone that I want to wear my hair natural...(I need to get some braids!)

In an attempt to entertain myself during this prolonged heat, I am going to try what that woman in Texas tried. I am going to get some cookie dough and lay it on a pan which I will set on my cars dashboard. Hopefully, I will get some nice baked cookies like she did. I will let you know what happens.

Just the right size!
Just the right size! | Source

It's Cooling Off Now...

Can't nobody tell me that God ain't good. As I write this, the sun is setting and the air is cooling off. The humidity has eased up and the heat is dissipating. Oh happy day....I know that it will be 95 degrees tomorrow, and we will face more of the same the rest of the season. But, after living here these many years, I have learned to take the good when it comes and to tell the Lord, thank you in every situation. So, regardless of your theology, won't you please join me in saying, "Thank You Lord!"

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    • LeslieAdrienne profile imageAUTHOR

      Leslie A. Shields 

      4 years ago from Georgia

      I am so glad this hub made you laugh... there is no higher compliment... FYI, it has been hot all day and it will be in the 90"s(F) the rest of the week. It would be less challenging if there weren't so much humidity.... hot and wet.... yuck!

      Thank you for your comment... God Bless You!!!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      4 years ago from England

      Lol! I couldn't stop laughing! thanks for that, made my day! My friend went over to America and lived in Georgia, in fact her daughter is now called Georgia! lol! and yes she said it was hot hot hot! funny stuff!

    • LeslieAdrienne profile imageAUTHOR

      Leslie A. Shields 

      7 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks Rachel

      I hope you guys cool down soon.

      Nell,

      An ice bath would have been a good idea. Thankfully, Fall is coming and I am so grateful.

      Thanks for the comment.

      Acaetnna,

      Thank you for the comment... I suppose I can agree with you for one more day of tanning sunshine...

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 

      7 years ago from Guildford

      Ah brilliant now lets pray for the sun to last more tan one day at a time!!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi, I am sorry but I did laugh! we moan in England when it gets too hot, about 90 degrees, I think I would have just jumped in a cold bath and stayed there! hope its cooler now, cheers nell

    • rachellrobinson profile image

      Rachel Woodruff 

      7 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Leslie, while we haven't really broken any records you are right it isn't supposed to get that hot in Missouri. I think the last time it was in the hundreds was back in the 1920's.

      Rachel

    • LeslieAdrienne profile imageAUTHOR

      Leslie A. Shields 

      7 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks for the comment Rachel...

      I know what you mean because we are down to 88 in the day and 72 or so at night. We are sooooo grateful for the change....

      Fall is in the air...

      p.s. I didn't know that it got that hot in Missouri...

    • rachellrobinson profile image

      Rachel Woodruff 

      7 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Another wonderful hub. I live in Southwest Missouri and until about two weeks ago it was 110 everyday. Then it rained and since then I haven't had my a/c on. Today was 82 it is amazing what a difference twenty degrees makes.

      Rachel

    • LeslieAdrienne profile imageAUTHOR

      Leslie A. Shields 

      7 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks for the comment Whisper..

      I will visit your hub

    • TheWhisper profile image

      TheWhisper 

      7 years ago from Macomb,MI

      This was a nice, fun little hub. Fortunately, I live in Michigan so the heat here is bearable, but the winters are relentless. :)

      Please visit the new hub I created in honor of my mother's birthday called "Brenda's B-DAY". Please comment happy birthday. :)

    • LeslieAdrienne profile imageAUTHOR

      Leslie A. Shields 

      7 years ago from Georgia

      Amen to that Paradise...Thanks for the comment

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 

      7 years ago from Upstate New York

      I know the feeling of melting like the Wicked Witch of the West. Hot and humid here, too--too hot to sleep. I may run a cool bath and lay in it for a while. Light a candle, put some very soft music on, and lay in a cool tub and meditiate.

    • LeslieAdrienne profile imageAUTHOR

      Leslie A. Shields 

      7 years ago from Georgia

      I remember being in Tulsa Ok. At a Campmeeting. I meant a woman form OKC and she said she had to be careful as she drove from there to Tulsa because the tires on her car might start to melt... Is that amazing???

      Guard your air conditioning unit with great care....

    • onegoodwoman profile image

      onegoodwoman 

      7 years ago from A small southern town

      Currently, I reside in Oklahoma City.........

      I have lived in San Antonio,Texas,.....Yuma, Arizona, Phoenix, Arizona, Tucson, Arizona, the deserts of California, have lived in Mobile, Alabama, New Orleans, Louisiana, Atlanta, Georgia, Jackson, Mississippi, and a host of other great cities............

      I have spent time in the nw cities, reputed to be "rainy" and or " humid"............

      Through the years, I have joked....you can roast, steam or bake.........

      NEVER, have I been so miserable.

      OKC is not even a " humid" or "hot" city!

      Weather wise, this will be a memorable year to all who survive it......be it the heat, the floods, the fires or the tornados.

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