ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing

If not for you - a poem of loss & gratitude

Updated on February 13, 2012
In Gratitude from mimbrava Source:
In Gratitude from mimbrava Source:

‘If Not for You'

By Tony DeLorger © 15/9/2010

If it weren’t for you I would not know the pain of impending loss,

or the exquisite longing to be by your side.

If not for you I would never have experienced confusion and doubt

and feelings of jealous rage surging through my veins.

If it weren’t for you I would have fallen prey to my idealism

and incurable romanticism.

You, your enticing flesh and irrepressible smile have intoxicated me

for too long, my mind lost in a cloud of obscure perceptions.

I have dreamed a life, entwined in untruths and wishes,

unable to grasp my own reality.

Life has become a mirror, a reflection of dreams,

spent of all authenticity.

If not for you I would not know the light that has passed me by,

chosen not to bathe my weary soul,

nor conquer the darkness that surrounds me.

You have taken what you need and judged what you don’t,

unable to face your own mirror.

I thank you for your intuition, your sense of balance and economy.

You have been my teacher, my greatest lesson.

If it weren’t for you I would not have discovered what love is.

Far from the flesh and as uncomplicated as truth can be,

love is like a silent current

that weaves its way through life, touching everything.

We judge relationships through culture,

what is expected as a taught process.

But love is not a process but a state of mind,

given not just to a partner but to all that is life.

How can I love a partner when I do not love humanity,

every child, animal and being sharing our world?

Love pours from every positive intention, action and kindness.

We are all surrounded by love in all its forms but still relate it to sex

and selfish thought.

You have taught me all this.

I now find love in abundance: in my child’s eyes, my cat’s purr,

a stranger’s smile, human struggle and achievement

and every act of kindness.

If it weren’t for you, I would not understand

what a real relationship means,

what it looks like and when it is right.

No longer will I act out of need or dream, but search no more,

ready to love my life and experience all that is positive.

I will no longer strive, knowing that if love wishes to find me,

I will recognise it.

All this you have done for me.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Tony DeLorger profile image

      Tony DeLorger 7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Such kind words dallaswriter, Thank you. Hope you read some more of my work. Cheers.

    • dallaswriter profile image

      dallaswriter 7 years ago from North Carolina

      This is beautiful and so honestly true. Love cannot be contained in our small definitions of it. Far from the flesh and as uncomplicated as truth can be, love is like a silent current that weaves its way through life, touching everything.

      That line is beautiful and yes, it touches everything and everyone. :)

    • profile image

      Tony DeLorger 7 years ago

      Thanks Jay. Been married four times; must have a lot to learn?

    • JayDeck profile image

      JayDeck 7 years ago from New Jersey

      Very nice Tony! How many have been in the same boat and "learned" the same lesson?



    • profile image

      Tony DeLorger 7 years ago

      I'm so glad you connected with the piece.

    • tnderhrt23 profile image

      tnderhrt23 7 years ago

      This is an intense piece, amazingly insightful, intimate, beautiful and thought provoking. It made me reflect on my own loves and the many precious gifts that have lay hidden in pain. I grew from the reading...thank you!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)