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I'm A Broken Man
Looking out of the window watching the world go by and I feel nothing.... not even amused by the playful antics of two birds fighting over food. Funny isn't it, that even on a warm sunny day I still feel cold.... surrounded by loneliness and unconvinced by love.
The sense of purpose was withering away and the empty bottle of whiskey slowly rolled across the floor. Closing the blinds I take another puff and inhale the fumes of nicotine. Some would say I was an alcoholic, I just saw it as making a friend.
I was bitter and I couldn't bear the thought of anyone being happy, only becoming more intoxicated seemed to be the only thing that made sense . So I search for another bottle when I stumble across a picture, and within that moment I’m reminded of how broken I am. She was the love of my life, the sweetest person you could ever think of. Her hair was soft and her smile was warm. She was quite glamorous and she knew it too, marrying her was the best thing I ever did.
I still remember our honeymoon, teasing me for wearing that purple shirt to dinner. I couldn't stop laughing at the funny faces you made, I bet the tourist guide thought we were a couple of idiots in love. Holding on to those memories made me numb and the sudden rush of emotions came flooding back to me. Within a second the picture frame shatters and there lies me and you, a thing of the past, the forgotten couple....
It’s been months since we last spoke and time doesn't seem to be on my side. I heard through the grapevine you were off to Mexico with your new toy boy enjoying deep pleasures and learning new cultures. Although my hand was bleeding from the shattered glass I was unmoved, still thinking of the one night where it all went wrong. It haunts me to this day.
We didn't exchange numbers or names, just a handshake and our eyes made contact. From that very moment I knew this wasn't going to end well. Hoping not to do the unthinkable I try to resist but her golden skin and swan like figure was too tempting for me to turn down .I wanted to hold back but the egotistical man inside of me came alive.
The room was quiet, and the sense of guilt lived among us . She offered me a cigarette but I refused,instead we just watched the light bulb flicker until daylight . Who would have thought, one night of stupidity and a drunken game of twister could lead to such a disaster.
Losing you was the worst thing I've ever done,and the sickening look on your face kills me. I used to hear the floor boards creek and thought it was you ready to give me another chance but all i'm left with is an empty home crying for love to come back.
The stormy weather takes siege and i'm forced to sit down in that brown polished armchair next to the fireplace.The flames looked warm and gentle, it was the closest thing to being next to a woman. With Its belly dance movement swaying from left to right It looked at me, and I looked back. I wanted to touch it, but the amount of heat racing towards my hands quickly snapped me back into reality and I'm suddenly aware of the shattered picture frame still lying on the floor .
Years went by and we never did speak again. I prayed to the heavens for you to come back but you never did. So as I lay on the side of the bed where you use to sleep, I'm left with that gut wrenching feeling in my stomach.I'm broken and I don't know what to do.