I'm Old Enough to be a Grumpy Old Man!
I'm Qualified to be Grumpy
Ok, I'm in my forties. I think I'm now old enough and qualified to be a grumpy old man! These are my top 10 gripes.
1 Why does everything have to be smelly? Smelly washing up liquid, smelly fabric conditioner, smelly furniture polish.
2 Why do cookie tin lids have to be rectangular and not square? I mean honestly, I’m not a jigsaw fanatic, why do I have to start twisting the lid around in order to match it up and replace it on the tin?
3 Why does everything have to have a digital display? Toasters,irons, washing machines. What ever happened to good old fashioned knobs pointing to symbols on a panel?
4 The Greens and the environmental movement. While I don’t believe in pollution, what’s the harm in having a good old fashioned bonfire in your garden? The greens will probably eventually ban farting and peeing in the open because it might cause air and water pollution!
5 Health and Safety – Kids can’t run around the playground any more, you need a qualification to use a ladder, stupid warning instructions on every food product to the effect that it may contain nuts, even if the product contains nuts! Warning notices plastered over lawnmowers and dead man’s handles to make them idiot proof and prevent users getting their hands chopped off while removing grass from the underside of a deck on a running engine.
6 The Weather. I don’t live in Sunny California and have to put up with rain all the time. Usually this arrives right on cue when I have planned to do outdoor yard work or travel somewhere.
7 Packaging – This is designed to be a challenge to open for even the Einsteins amongst us!
8 Ubiquitousness – If there is such a word – Token sex scenes in movies, baseball caps, hoodies, barrages of F-bombs and silver cars.
9 Lack of common sense - It's not very common, is it?
10 Know alls - You know the type. They are expert on everything, opinionated and are always right. Life is too short to waste time reasoning with them and making them see sense.
© 2012 Eugene Brennan