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I'm Sorry (Short Poem)

Updated on July 20, 2011

I still remember the last time we spoke.

Folding to my peers, we made you the joke.

Painful memories of childhood torments.

A life of bad decisions, regretting many moments

So few of them haunt me as the day that you died

To go back and change things, like my childhood pride.

They didn't accept you, but you were my friend.

Afraid of their judgments, I wouldn't contend.

I wasn’t willing to fight

To stand up for what’s right

Cowardly siding with them, I joined along

Knowing throughout it was so very wrong.

Walking away, seeing tears in your eye.

Unknowing that this is the day you would die.

We went and we played forgetting your pain

Was my betrayal the last thing on your brain?

As I walk in my house, my mother sits alone.

Telling me a call had come on the phone.

Into the line your mother had cried.

That her only son had just today died.

So young he was taken, only twelve years old.

His last moments of life, the story she told.

He had climbed up the tree, and sat there alone.

He had been crying, his mother had known.

He wouldn't come down, down out of that tree.

Ignoring every single one of her pleas.

She had given up, and walked back in through the door

Not knowing that she would see him no more.

He came down after the passing of enough time.

But he did not see his foot hitting that power line.

Out of the tree his lifeless body came falling.

His sister was screaming, mom! Mom! She was calling.

Thinking back to the day’s events,

Tearing our friendship away as I’d went.

Had I fought with them, stood up for my friend?

Demanded he come with us, come too and play pretend.

My pride and my fear got in the way

I was unwilling to try, you just wanted to play.

I just wished I could say I was sorry.

I still wish I could say I was sorry.

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    • mcrawford76 profile image
      Author

      Matthew I Crawford 6 years ago from Greeley, Colorado

      Thank you for you kind words bbnix, and thank you for reading.

    • bbnix profile image

      bbnix 6 years ago from Southern California

      mcraw'...not only does this experience, and your sharing of it affect and change your life, but it does mine, and I suspect, all of his here that shared in it with you. know that my friend...these most tragic of experiences who make us who we are are both intolerable and precious at the same time....

      Godspeed, my new friend......

    • mcrawford76 profile image
      Author

      Matthew I Crawford 6 years ago from Greeley, Colorado

      Thank you both for reading. This was one of those moments, despite how difficult it was, that really shaped my life in a positive way. I think he would be thankful for that. I chose after that day to never again bow to peer pressure when I know what’s going on is wrong. And for that I will be forever thankful to Nick.

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      This brings me a similar happening in my life, I tried to persuade a friend not to climb a power line, he refused to listen and was burnt badly, the only thing saving his life was the type of footwear he had on.

      Little did I know that I would sustain an injury and end up in the same children's hospital with him. He was badly burned and the doctors had to perform rapid skin implants on his elbows, back and face. I was in for falling on my head and receiving a fractured skull.

      Although he lived his body was messed up pretty badly. I am sorry to hear of your loss, it's difficult to forgive oneself, however we have to eventually move on with our lives. I pray you have done so my friend.

    • profile image

      ExoticHippieQueen 6 years ago

      I'm so sorry, mcrawford......the only goodness that may come of this terrible event is that your poetry may make some person aware of his/her hurtful behavior towards another person, and make positive changes that will have a happy ending instead of such a tragic one. Thank you for sharing.

    • Extinct Soul profile image

      Extinct Soul 6 years ago from 14°35'N 121°0'E

      this is such a tear jerking piece...

      :) things happen for a reason, and I believe our life was meant to be of help on other person lives. (in a special way that you sometimes is not aware of.)

      Thanks for sharing!

    • mcrawford76 profile image
      Author

      Matthew I Crawford 6 years ago from Greeley, Colorado

      Thank you both for your kind words. This event shaped my life perhaps like no other could. And I hope that you are right, Amy, that he sees that his death helped change my life and make me the better man that I am today.

      Thank you so much for reading.

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      We are, each one of us, capable of cruelty through words or silence. Not one of us hasn't hurt someone whether intentionally, inadvertently or unknowingly. You haven't turned away from your friend, because you still grieve. It still impacts you. He knows and understands from his vantage point in Heaven. This is a beautiful confession of sadness, grief and guilt that has changed your life. Although your part saddened him, it did not cause his death. Let your compassion allow you to forgive yourself, mccrawford. Your friend's suffering ended long ago, and you continue to suffer. As children, sometimes, we turn away from conflict rather than engage in what might turn into a useless battle. You learned early that time waits for no man in a very profound way...a burning bush, so to speak. I'm not a bible thumper, but I believe in our creator and it appears he shared a heavy message with a little boy. I don't think anything so profound is coincidental. He sees great things in you, mccrawford. Thank you for sharing this message.

    • LisaMarie724 profile image

      Lisa Stover 6 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      I am so sorry for your pain. I could not stop crying while reaing this. I hope that you find the courage to forgive yourself.