I'm in love with a lesbian
It was a night I would never forget.It was a nice night to relax,the beginning of fall,the breeze was blowing just right,me? I was sitting on the porch listening to the stereo and knocking back a couple of beers.Getting my gage on.It was about nine o'clock at night,a car pulls up and its my road dog Kurt."Whats up dude?" he says as he takes a seat beside me. " Chilling." I respond. " Yeah,whats up with the brew?" he asks,I point to the kitchen "Get it out the fridge,and fix me a glass of gin while you're in there."About thirty or forty minutes pass,and Kurt comes out of no where with "So where's the old lady at?" I pause for a second wondering where this is going and where did it come from. "Out." I respond.
whats really going on?
It's about eleven thirty now,and both of us is feeling pretty good. "I'm just saying...do you know where your girl is at right now?" for about two hours now this has been the dominate topic,and I'm getting a little bit pissed."Yeah man I know where shes at, but what is it that you are trying to tell me?" Kurt pauses for a second and then responds "nothing. I'm just saying do you know where your girl is." Now I'm more than ticked off "Yes I know where she is! If you have something to say to me then go ahead and say it!" Kurt stands up and goes into the house, " bring me one." I said as I'm starting to think that my girlfriend is cheating on me,and by now I'm pretty sure Kurt knows something and I'm getting ready to throw him up under intense interrogation as soon as he steps on the porch.After about thirty minutes of idle chatter and a little bit of power drinking I start in with "O.K. man whats going on?" Kurt looks at me and says "Nothing man.." I come back with "Nothing!?? come on man, somethings going on! and you need to man up and tell me!" Kurt responds while getting up heading to his car throwing his hands up "I don't want to get in it!"
O.K. lets see whats Really going on.
Its going on one O'clock in the morning now,Kurt is gone my buzz has gone and now I'm sitting on the porch..... wondering.My curiosity is building and I am seriously thinking about crossing that line.You know,that trust line.Once you cross it you can't cross back over.Trust is out the window....forever.O.K. I can't fight it,I find myself cruising to the club where my lady and her friends are having their private party... invitation only.As I pull in I notice that the club is packed.I make my way to the entrance hoping that my feelings are wrong and that Kurt doesn't know what he's talking about.I make it to the door and ask the guy at the door "How much..?" and he responds "Oh,nothing honey! Its free go right in!" Snapping his fingers and shaking his head.I'm looking at this dude in shock like "O.K. what the hell is really going on!??!!" As I make my way through the crowd I immediately notice that these are NOT straight people and I'm wondering "What in the world is my girl doing up in here!?!??" I make it half way through the club and I say to myself "I don't want to see it." I turn around and exit the club quickly making my way home.
O.K. now what am I going to do?
I make my way home take a shower and get into the bed.Laying there in the bed thinking "How do I handle this?" A light in the window and I can hear a car door shut."She's home.How am I going to approach this?" I'm thinking.I hear the shower running and I'm laying there really not knowing what to do."This one's over my head." I think to myself.Now she's climbing into bed whispering in my ear "Hey Baby." I turn over and look into her eyes and just like that we're going at it like wild animals from wild kingdom.Super hot.Super Intense. The next morning it was the same thing.My first conclusion on how to deal with this situation was to drop the hammer.Dropping the Hammer means when it comes to matters in the bed room you simply go all out,leave no stone unturned,understand?Over the course of the next year I did a lot of detective work,with the help of Kurt,I found out just who my girl was messing around with and where she stayed.I also went to the only person who could give me advice on the situation.My Great Uncle.With three ex wives and twelve children,I guessed that when it comes to women he should know a little something about the subject."There is nothing you can do." was the advice he gave."Its not you its her,and no matter what you do you will not be able to satisfy her,you're better off letting her go." But me being me I couldn't give up I had to keep trying only to come home one day and find all her stuff gone.A few days passed and she eventually came back with her new girlfriend trying to explain her side to me,Our relationship evolved into a casual sex kind of thing before totally fading away,I ran across her and her girlfriend about a year after as I watched them walking away from me the only thing I could think was "Ain't this a bitch!" Peace I'm Audi 5000.