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In Desperate Grief

Updated on December 21, 2010

She cries...

raging against the sky and self...

taking God knows what from shelf...

seeking masochists in white coats...

subjecting self to doses...

sick for her effort...

maybe successful..

maybe not...

subjecting to the sting of still more hope...

great white buildings where she lay on altars...

giving unholy sacrifice to the heathen priest in white...

money dearly departed...

submitting to being raped with metal...

cold hands violating...

searching for the cause of emptiness...

maybe they find it...


praying in her way...

all this being not for naught...

a right of passage nothing more...

some acts to prove valour...

being rewarded with her heart's desire...

maybe, maybe not...

still she hopes and plods onward...

a path of tears and blood.


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    • Jaggedfrost profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      And you are ever welcome to. I enjoy your analytical view point and discourse.

    • hillrider profile image


      7 years ago from Mid-west United States

      Sometimes we as poets have an ability to keep our thoughts and ideas coherent while the readers have no inkling. I have been way off on other poems I read and managed to discern the theme here. I liked the references but hated the torture that was evident within the character. Well depicted since it is an obvious empathetic voice from which it has been composed. I will continue to read and enjoy.

    • Jaggedfrost profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      You actually are quite observant Hillrider, and correct. I have stopped trying to tell people they are wrong or even insinuate as much when responding to comments though, especially when they miss the point.

    • hillrider profile image


      7 years ago from Mid-west United States

      Wow, I feel foolish having read the comments.

      I thought it spoke of a woman and her desire/efforts/dashed hopes,etc. to become pregnant. Certain words lent themselves to this error yet it sure seemed so to me.

      Just plain old life struggle. Maybe I need to rest...

    • Jaggedfrost profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      lol and for all this, this bit of writing was a contemplation on a possible future. True, there are bits that have already come to pass but not the majority yet, thank the Maker.

    • twolittlehands profile image


      7 years ago from Utah

      So sorry for her suffering and sorrowing disappointment! I have a deep and abiding belief that all will be well someday. It is that hope, perhaps, that gives her the power to continue in spite of the pain.

      She is heroic, and magnificent!

      Heroically written as one who suffers along with her. Keep it up, please.

    • Jaggedfrost profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      It was about a rather sad subject but I intended it to be more heroic. Perhaps they are one in the same.

    • Jaggedfrost profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Vincent Moore, I am glad you got something out of it. The power of empathy once attained and properly calibrated has given my pen new life more then once. Especially when I am tired of facing my own troubles.

      Acaetnna, I am glad you enjoyed the verse. I will take that praise upon myself with good grace and speak nothing of my many flaws. It is nice to see you dropping by.

    • acaetnna profile image


      7 years ago from Guildford

      You convey so much through your amazing use of words. You are a great talent.

    • profile image

      Vincent Moore 

      7 years ago

      Oh to plod onward a path of tears and blood? So true to often we must be driven to the brink of madness before our souls let go of the relentless pain within. I have walked in the dark shadows and have felt the sting. Well written and conveyed, I respect your artistic flair. Bravo...


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