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In the Pursuit of Sexiness

Updated on June 9, 2013

In the pursuit of sexiness, she will spend hours and tons of money at the MALL.

To be stunning and fly, appealing to the eye, graceful and TALL.

Dressed in spectacular fashion, the masterpiece is COMPLETE.

Immaculate would be accurate to describe her appearance from head to FEET.

Strutting around in six inch heels, knowing her tootsies could barely squeeze into THOSE.

In the pursuit of sexiness, she will endure corns, bunions, and even blisters on her pinky TOES.

Through out the pain one thing is clearly UNDERSTOOD.

Dressed to kill and turning heads at will, Ms.Lady looks GOOD.






In the pursuit of sexiness, she will get the job DONE.

Without any doubt, she will go all out and be second to NONE.

Ms.Lady will go on any and every crash diet to fit into that two sizes too small DRESS.

In the pursuit of sexiness, EVERYONE she has to IMPRESS.

To accomplish her goals, the poor girl will barely EAT.

On her plate you will only find two carrots, a leaf of lettuce, one boiled egg, and no sign of MEAT.

Down five pounds and gee, it took only three DAYS!

As you can see, she makes it happen in so many WAYS.





Uh oh! Ms Lady is getting OLDER.

In the pursuit of sexiness, her actions have become more calculated and BOLDER.

She's taken to going under the knife to have work done on her nose, eyes, and LIPS.

To recapture the figure of her youth, she's having fat sucked from her thighs, stomach, and HIPS.

Well just look at her, LOOK at her I say, she's as good as new with her brand new body and FACE.

In the pursuit of sexiness, Ms.Lady now looks like a cross between Gary Busey and Joan Rivers, in other words, something from out of SPACE!



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    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Thanks Epi,

      I enjoy writing, but I have no formal training. In high school, I wanted to be a columnist, but didn't really pursue it. Thanks to HP, I'm fulfilling a passion of mine. Thanks for everything.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      5 years ago

      Not only are you a man of strength but also a man of good humor and wisdom and I always read that intelligence on every page (or subject) that you write. Also you are the king of satire and have a very perceptive eye and quick mind - hubbravo from the epi-man and sending a high five from two human hands and 4 furried paws at lake erie time canada 3:04pm

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      I'm not sure, but she could even be dead? :D I thought the ending the first time around was still great... this just gives us all another reason to laugh :D

    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Yes Joan Rivers, is beyond ridiculous. After re reading I thought that ending was better than having Ms. Lady dying.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      MOS,

      Thanks... now I look like a fruit loop talking about the 'death that doesn't exist' :-) I'm kidding... I look like a fruit loop anyway and this is a much more playful ending... and funnier! Awesome!!! Joan Rivers; now she's 125 right? She only looks 40, but she also looks plastic and STUCK LIKE THAT :D

      Gary Busey... ha ha ha!

    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Thanks for stopping by and complimenting. I sincerely appreciate it.

    • blondey profile image

      Blondey Hubpages 

      5 years ago

      Good poem, pointing out that beauty is better inside...and outside...well you just better off be graceful! Nice

    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Hi Kris,

      Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. i tried to inject as much realism and humor as possible. I have one about us men in the works. Stay tuned.

    • Kris Bell profile image

      Kristen Bell 

      5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Hello there! I loved the message in this piece, and you are so right! Plenty of women put themselves through so much unnecessary changes and pain just to fit into the idea of what sexiness is. Also this piece also had a steady rhythm that was easy to follow. Your last line, though, gave me a nice chuckle lol. Upvoted :)

    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Hi Cat'

      I'm glad you enjoyed it and found humor in Ms. Lady's plight. When you have time go back and read it again. I changed the ending, but I think you'll like it. Thanks as always. ;-)

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      He made me do it! ha ha ha; that's all I could think! You guys are like devils... you make us do this and then you pick on us for it :D ... oh my goodness, I laughed so hard; though I probably shouldn't at the thought of death, eek!

      ' In the pursuit of sexiness, she will endure corns, bunions, and even blisters on her pinky TOES.' -That's when I really started to lose it... then again... with no sign of meat! Ha ha.... I pushed every button on this page! This is hilarious!!!

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