ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Interview With a Revolutionary War Soldier on the 4th of July

Updated on February 9, 2018

Well....he just appeared there on the street corner. He looked pretty lost so I decided to help him out. I introduced myself and he told me his name, Paul, and so we started a conversation. He asked me if I had any tobacco and I handed him a cigarette.

He was really impressed how it was shaped so perfectly. I asked "How about some lunch...I'll pay?" He nodded and we walked across the street to Smiley's Pub. Before we stepped in the door I told him " have to put out the smoke and you can't carry that rifle in here."

He leaned his rifle to the side of the door and broke the cigarette off at the ember to save for later. We went in, sat at the bar and I ordered two drafts and a couple of hamburgers. He looked over at two beautiful women standing by the juke box and yelled at them "Wenches, bring your asses here and give me some kisses!" I nudged him as the women snarled and turned away. I whispered "You can't talk to women like that!"

He grinned and said "How would a man talk to a woman of this day then?" I said "You must be polite, women are far more sensitive....they don't like being called wenches." I went on "Women are equal to men in today's world." He laughed and said "As they were in my on me lap and one in each arm was a pretty good balance my friend."

As we ate our lunch, we got on the subject of politics. I gave him a basic outline of politics and social issues. When I mentioned the welfare system, he grunted and said "Ah friend, if a man be too lazy to work ....I be too lazy to feed him!"

He began to get really aggravated that he had to leave his rifle outside. I told him about gun laws, search and seizure methods, along with other eroding rights. I told him how the banks control all of the money and the politicians were just worms in the fat apples of the peoples' tree.

He listened intensely as I ranted about how things were in such a mess. I began slamming my fist on the bar and I shouted "This is the fourth of f****ng July and I for one am sick and tired of taxation without representation....I am sick of a totally incompetent legislature....from the local piss head politician to the leader of the country, we have an unbroken line of dumb asses!"

The old soldier just patted me on the back, with a big grin, he laughed and said "Bloody hell mate....we won the bloody dammed war....this country is as much a shit hole as England.....Ha...ha ...ah...We won the bloody war!"

We finished our lunch and drinks, went outside and he picked up his rifle. He brushed the dust from his red coat and shouted "Long live the King!" The old British soldier disappeared into thin air.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      Sgt. Savage....thanks...yip...a smoothbore. You also have a point about the wenches....maybe one could tip the bottle? Thanks again for stopping by. :o)

    • profile image

      Sjt. Savage 

      7 years ago

      As the Redcoat imaged above, the only thing I am upset with is that the author called my weapon a "rifle". It is most certainly a smoothbore!

      Technical note: a wench in each arm does not leave me a free hand to drink beer!

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      9 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Charlie. :)

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I missed this one. Right on.

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Chef Jeff....LOL....steal away! :)

    • Chef Jeff profile image

      Chef Jeff 

      10 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

      LOL!!! I'm going to 'steal' that one! Public serpents! Great!

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Chef Jeff....I'll bet Civil war reenactments are interesting! I painted a house for a friend who had an old Union rifle in museum condition. He was a big Civil war buff...I loved hearing his stories.

      I think that many politicians are public serpents. :)

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

    • Chef Jeff profile image

      Chef Jeff 

      10 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

      As a Civil war reenactor I also get into first person and stick with it. It can cause some very interesting situations!

      And politicians are supposed to be public servants, not served by the public!


      Chef Jeff

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      James....thanks much! Big grin! :)

      Dr. Larkin......yavolt commmandant! :)

    • Dr. Larkin profile image

      Dr. Larkin 

      10 years ago from In the portrait of a madman

      Auf Wiedersehen, Liberty. Denn wir fahren, gegen Engelland!

      Good hub, Dad

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      10 years ago from Chicago

      Awesome twist at the end, brother.  And yet another great story.  You old raconteur you!

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      comp3820.....thank you much! :)

    • comp3820 profile image


      10 years ago from Michigan

      Good hub! I really like the way you turned it around in the end!

    • Beth100 profile image


      10 years ago from Canada

      Happy 4th of July!!!! :)

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 

      10 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      Excellent hub Tom!! Tho, I must say I don't mind being called a "wench" from the right man!! LOL!

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 

      10 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 

      10 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      I liked your take on this story. Thanks, Tom...always a pleasure to read your hubs

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      As Newt Gingrich said : "Politics and war are remarkably similar situations."

    • Ginn Navarre profile image

      Ginn Navarre 

      10 years ago

      Oh yes, Pete said it best---still happy--4th!

    • Pete Maida profile image

      Pete Maida 

      10 years ago

      Unfortunately the government is far more complex that an eigthteenth century soldier would understand. In general we are doing exactly what Ben Franklin warned us of. We are giving up liberty for security and in the end it may bite us on the butt.

    • agvulpes profile image


      10 years ago from Australia

      And if you had lost ?

      Happy 4th from an Aussie :-)

    • Hawkesdream profile image


      10 years ago from Cornwall

      Yeah we did , won the bloody war, enjoy the celebrations Tom

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      10 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      At the least the spirit of the Fourth is still alive in the hearts of many, like yours. Happy Fourth my friend, despite....

      Oh btw, I have posted your wallpaper as you requested! Hope you'll like. If not, well I'll LYM you just the same :D

    • treading concrete profile image

      treading concrete 

      10 years ago from Jungle of steel.

      Oh that was nice! Awesome thought for this weekend.

    • Ivorwen profile image


      10 years ago from Hither and Yonder

      Sad, isn't it?

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Steve...thanks for stopping by! :)

    • Steve Rensch profile image

      Steve Rensch 

      10 years ago

      Fooled me.

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Happy fourth to you too! :)

    • advisor4qb profile image


      10 years ago from On New Footing

      Happy fourth!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)