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Interview With a Revolutionary War Soldier on the 4th of July

Updated on February 9, 2018

Well....he just appeared there on the street corner. He looked pretty lost so I decided to help him out. I introduced myself and he told me his name, Paul, and so we started a conversation. He asked me if I had any tobacco and I handed him a cigarette.

He was really impressed how it was shaped so perfectly. I asked "How about some lunch...I'll pay?" He nodded and we walked across the street to Smiley's Pub. Before we stepped in the door I told him "Uh...you have to put out the smoke and you can't carry that rifle in here."

He leaned his rifle to the side of the door and broke the cigarette off at the ember to save for later. We went in, sat at the bar and I ordered two drafts and a couple of hamburgers. He looked over at two beautiful women standing by the juke box and yelled at them "Wenches, bring your asses here and give me some kisses!" I nudged him as the women snarled and turned away. I whispered "You can't talk to women like that!"

He grinned and said "How would a man talk to a woman of this day then?" I said "You must be polite, women are far more sensitive....they don't like being called wenches." I went on "Women are equal to men in today's world." He laughed and said "As they were in my time...one on me lap and one in each arm was a pretty good balance my friend."

As we ate our lunch, we got on the subject of politics. I gave him a basic outline of politics and social issues. When I mentioned the welfare system, he grunted and said "Ah friend, if a man be too lazy to work ....I be too lazy to feed him!"




He began to get really aggravated that he had to leave his rifle outside. I told him about gun laws, search and seizure methods, along with other eroding rights. I told him how the banks control all of the money and the politicians were just worms in the fat apples of the peoples' tree.

He listened intensely as I ranted about how things were in such a mess. I began slamming my fist on the bar and I shouted "This is the fourth of f****ng July and I for one am sick and tired of taxation without representation....I am sick of a totally incompetent legislature....from the local piss head politician to the leader of the country, we have an unbroken line of dumb asses!"

The old soldier just patted me on the back, with a big grin, he laughed and said "Bloody hell mate....we won the bloody dammed war....this country is as much a shit hole as England.....Ha...ha ...ah...We won the bloody war!"

We finished our lunch and drinks, went outside and he picked up his rifle. He brushed the dust from his red coat and shouted "Long live the King!" The old British soldier disappeared into thin air.

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    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      Sgt. Savage....thanks...yip...a smoothbore. You also have a point about the wenches....maybe one could tip the bottle? Thanks again for stopping by. :o)

    • profile image

      Sjt. Savage 

      7 years ago

      As the Redcoat imaged above, the only thing I am upset with is that the author called my weapon a "rifle". It is most certainly a smoothbore!

      Technical note: a wench in each arm does not leave me a free hand to drink beer!

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      9 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Charlie. :)

    • profile image

      ralwus 

      9 years ago

      I missed this one. Right on.

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Chef Jeff....LOL....steal away! :)

    • Chef Jeff profile image

      Chef Jeff 

      10 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

      LOL!!! I'm going to 'steal' that one! Public serpents! Great!

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Chef Jeff....I'll bet Civil war reenactments are interesting! I painted a house for a friend who had an old Union rifle in museum condition. He was a big Civil war buff...I loved hearing his stories.

      I think that many politicians are public serpents. :)

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

    • Chef Jeff profile image

      Chef Jeff 

      10 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

      As a Civil war reenactor I also get into first person and stick with it. It can cause some very interesting situations!

      And politicians are supposed to be public servants, not served by the public!

      Cheers,

      Chef Jeff

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      James....thanks much! Big grin! :)

      Dr. Larkin......yavolt commmandant! :)

    • Dr. Larkin profile image

      Dr. Larkin 

      10 years ago from In the portrait of a madman

      Auf Wiedersehen, Liberty. Denn wir fahren, gegen Engelland!

      Good hub, Dad

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      10 years ago from Chicago

      Awesome twist at the end, brother.  And yet another great story.  You old raconteur you!

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      comp3820.....thank you much! :)

    • comp3820 profile image

      comp3820 

      10 years ago from Michigan

      Good hub! I really like the way you turned it around in the end!

    • Beth100 profile image

      Beth100 

      10 years ago from Canada

      Happy 4th of July!!!! :)

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 

      10 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      Excellent hub Tom!! Tho, I must say I don't mind being called a "wench" from the right man!! LOL!

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 

      10 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 

      10 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      I liked your take on this story. Thanks, Tom...always a pleasure to read your hubs

    • profile image

      Iphigenia 

      10 years ago

      As Newt Gingrich said : "Politics and war are remarkably similar situations."

    • Ginn Navarre profile image

      Ginn Navarre 

      10 years ago

      Oh yes, Pete said it best---still happy--4th!

    • Pete Maida profile image

      Pete Maida 

      10 years ago

      Unfortunately the government is far more complex that an eigthteenth century soldier would understand. In general we are doing exactly what Ben Franklin warned us of. We are giving up liberty for security and in the end it may bite us on the butt.

    • agvulpes profile image

      Peter 

      10 years ago from Australia

      And if you had lost ?

      Happy 4th from an Aussie :-)

    • Hawkesdream profile image

      Hawkesdream 

      10 years ago from Cornwall

      Yeah we did , won the bloody war, enjoy the celebrations Tom

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      10 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      At the least the spirit of the Fourth is still alive in the hearts of many, like yours. Happy Fourth my friend, despite....

      Oh btw, I have posted your wallpaper as you requested! Hope you'll like. If not, well I'll LYM you just the same :D https://hubpages.com/art/when-i-cant-write-i-make-...

    • treading concrete profile image

      treading concrete 

      10 years ago from Jungle of steel.

      Oh that was nice! Awesome thought for this weekend.

    • Ivorwen profile image

      Ivorwen 

      10 years ago from Hither and Yonder

      Sad, isn't it?

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Steve...thanks for stopping by! :)

    • Steve Rensch profile image

      Steve Rensch 

      10 years ago

      Fooled me.

    • Tom Cornett profile imageAUTHOR

      Tom Cornett 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Happy fourth to you too! :)

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 

      10 years ago from On New Footing

      Happy fourth!

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