Introspection: a poem?
I was once asked, what do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? I pondered a bit over the question, somewhat startled by my friend's imprudence and not sure what he meant. However, I realize now that I knew exactly what he meant- the answer to his question though, was what scared me. I did not know where to begin. I saw so many things, but at others I saw nothing.
Pain, anger, struggle, weariness, disenchantment- these were the thoughts that filled my mind, and when I looked in the mirror, the first thing I saw was a woman struggling for an identity. I had so many aspirations: I wanted to light up and burst into colors like a Fourth of July firework, but I was only a light bulb. So when I saw my reflection, I saw many good and bad things, feeling insecure at times and confident at others.
Many times I dared my reflection and when I felt like crying, I cried. But I cried with conviction, with strength, with anger, with passion, with an objective. Many times I felt my tears burning down my cheeks, sending shudders down my spine, like electric shocks given to trauma patients to bring them back to life. In this way the same pain, anger and disenchantment that were part of my life struggles, gave birth to new feelings inside me. Pain gave birth to optimism, anger gave birth to strength, and disenchantment gave birth to ambition. These feelings, though opposites, where interrelated; they were born out of each other. There could not be strength if anger was not present and there could not be ambition without disenchantment.
Thus, anger and disenchantment were the best allies in my path.
Now I am strong and ambitious- These two feelings guide my path in life. I use them to lead me into the future. They are the tools that guide my path. Two feelings that sustain me-