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It's a Double Date Weekend

Updated on June 4, 2016
cam8510 profile image

Chris has written more than 100 flash fiction/short stories.Working Vacation took 21st out of 6,700 in the 2016 Writer's Digest competition.

Author's Note

There comes a time in every writer's life.....I'm sorry, I overstated that. Let me try again....I was doing a free write the other day and this what happened. It was sort of an accident.

One of the reading challenges of this story is that it has no dialogue tags. I hate dialogue tags anyway and didn't feel like adding them. So pay attention and you should be fine. For the most part, there are only two people talking to each other at any one point. The other challenge is the dialect. You'll work that out too, I'm sure.

This is just a bit of silly humor to help you get through the week.

Source

It's a Double Date Weekend

“Hi Abner. Got plans fer the weekend?”

“I shore do, Festus. I got me a date on Friday night.”

“Who ya takin’ out on a date?”

“That new girl down at the Sonic, her name's Patty. She brung my food out to me Monday night an’ we had a real nice talk.”

“If she was workin’, How long could that talk have been? Thirty seconds?”

“Long ‘nuff to get a date.”

“Where ya takin’ her?”

“I dunno. thought maybe I’d take her out fer a burger.”

“A burger? There’s only one place in town you can git a burger, Abner, an’ she works there. Ya can’t take a girl to the Sonic if she works there.”

“Well what do you suggest I do fer my date? There ain’t many choices in this one horse town.”

“Why don’t you make her up a home cooked meal.”

“A what?”

“You know what I’m talkin’ about. Ya put a pot on top of yer stove an’ put stuff in it then turn the heat on it. I know you got a stove, cause I seen it before.”

“Yeah, well, I ain’t much good at cookin’.”

“How do you know? You never tried it.”

“Did to.”

“Tell me bout it then. What’d you make? A bowl o' cereal?”

“I made me a pot roast with taters and carrots.”

“I think you was dreamin’ bout that pot roast, Abner.

Source

“Tell you what, Festus. You git you a date fer Friday night an’ I’ll make that pot roast fer all of us.”

“Well, if you is gonna wait fer me to get a date, then you might want to change that from Friday night to never.”

“I’ll see if Patty’s got a friend from work she can bring fer your date.”

“Werks fer me if it werks fer her.”

“What’r you doin’ on Thursday night?”

“Nuthin’, why?”

“Meet me out at the highway at 9pm, an’ bring a shovel.”

“Sounds like we is goin’ possum huntin’.” Festus rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

“We is. Its the secret ingredient fer my pot roast.”

“What’s that beepin’ sound, Abner?”

“It’s my cell phone. Looks like Patty’s callin’ me.”

“Hello?….yeah this is Abner….Well hi Patty…..You wanna know what?….What we is doin’ on our date Friday?……I’m makin’ post roast….You wanna go out on Thursday night too?….. Possum huntin’…..You got a friend that can be Festus’s date?….Bring her along too…..An’ bring a shovel and a five gallon bucket……..9pm out at the highway…..Bye.”

“High five Festus. This is gonna be a possum-huntin’-pot roast-eatin’-double-double-date-weekend.”

Source
Source

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    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 13 months ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      Shauna, no, no, no. You don't hit them with the shovels. You wait for the cars to run over them, then scoop them up with the shovels. haha Thanks for reading.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 13 months ago from Central Florida

      Ewww! What are they going to do? Bop him over the head with the shovel?

      Funny story, Chris. I may never look at a Sonic the same ever again!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 13 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      Nope don't like that possum there. Looks too much like rat.... Most humorous though.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 13 months ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      Thanks, Frank. Opossum beats squirrel? Really? I'll never know. I've had squirrel and will never willingly try opossum. Too many disgusting memories from back on the farm. :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 13 months ago from Shelton

      this was cute like taking a trip into the May-berry Hills... I forget the name of that family that lives in those hills.. oh yeah the Darlings.. clever my friend.. clever.. possum.. beats squirrel..LOL

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 14 months ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      Venkatachari M, You are so right. At first I got an email saying it was "Spammy." So I added some more photos. It finally got featured and is enjoying a hub score of 75 and 27 pageviews. Thanks for reading and letting me know you enjoyed it.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 14 months ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      Ruby, The laughter is encouraging, believe me. haha.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 14 months ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      Thanks, John. I have to say, I had second thoughts about posting this. I hope people enjoy it.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 14 months ago from Hyderabad, India

      Fantastic! Enjoyed a lot. I appreciate your style of presenting it. But, I have a doubt regarding how it escapes the edit bots or grammar checkers.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 14 months ago from Southern Illinois

      HaHaHaHaHa....I liked this, ( what'r ) Now I can make it the rest of the week. lol

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 14 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hilarious, Chris. This should be one hell of a a "possum-huntin’-pot roast-eatin’-double-double-date-weekend". Thanks for the laff!

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