Something Funny....now but not when it happened
Remembering the Good Stuff
Life is like a breadbox, the good stuff is in the front and the old moldy stuff gets pushed in the back where you can’t see it.You know it’s there but you can ignore it ‘cause you can’t see it. That’s what you do with memories you don’t want to remember, you push them to the back of the breadbox.Then, there are the memories of things that happened that weren’t funny when they happened but got funnier as time went on.
I’ve always loved humor.I mean things that are humorous or funny not sarcastic or mean.I always try to find the humor in a situation though sometimes it isn’t easy or the other person doesn’t see the humor at the moment.For example, when I was in the 8th grade I wasn’t happy that my blonde hair was getting darker so I decided to do something about it.My mother would never approve so I thought I’d do it on my own and once it was done she couldn’t do anything about it.I set my hair in rollers and poured a bottle of Clairoxide (hair bleach) over all the curlers. When I took my hair out of the curlers the next morning my hair was blonde all right with a nice tint of orange.The funny part was my mother wouldn’t let me fix it and I had to walk around like that until it grew out on its own.The nun I had in 8th grade used to go through my hair periodically to see how long my roots were!
Humor is laughing about the familiar things that happen in your everyday life.On my wedding day I wore the traditional blue garter on my leg.To say I had slim legs would be an exaggeration, my legs were skinny.The limo pulled up at the reception hall and when I put my foot out on the sidewalk the garter slid right down off my leg. I gracefully left it there and began to walk away. A passerby said, “Hey lady you lost something.”My new husband picked it up for me.
After our wedding reception we went back to my mother’s house to change our clothes so we could leave for the honeymoon.When we got to her house we realized we had no key to get in and everyone was back at the reception, we were locked out.Luckily we lived in a two family house and our tenants were able to let us in or we would have missed our plane.
Then there is the honeymoon.My husband left the choice of destination up to me. Back then Niagara Falls was a popular honeymoon destination, what I didn’t take into consideration was we got married the end of January; nice and cold in Niagara Falls.So, we caught our flight, got a cab to our hotel and were ready to settle in.We walked into the room which was one room.We looked at the couch and then at each other…where was the bed?After an hour looking for buttons and of pushing and pulling things we found the couch was the bed.When you pulled the couch out from the wall it turned into a big round bed.What a relief.What would our honeymoon have been without a bed?The next day we were looking forward to seeing the Falls.When we told the cab drive we wanted to go the Falls he gave us a peculiar look but said nothing.When we got to the Falls he asked us if we wanted him to wait.We didn’t know why but thought it might be a good idea since we didn’t see anyone else around, I mean no one!We got out of the car and walked to the Falls. What a beautiful winter wonderland.Everything was covered in ice and I do mean everything.Within 10 minutes of our exit from the car our hair was frozen solid.The mist from the Falls froze everything it touched.We realized now why the cab driver had asked if we wanted him to wait!
Humor with Husbands and Children
When we had children my husband was one of them.He loved to play with the kids and spend time with them.One day the boys were playing soccer in the backyard.My husband, in bare feet, decided he wanted to play too.One of the boys and my husband kicked the ball at the same time, the ball went one way and my husband’s big toenail went another.He ran into the house telling me he was bleeding to death because there were clots coming out of his toe.Being totally sympathetic I laughed so hard it took me five minutes to tell him it was natural and he would live.The boy involved was in a total panic because he had hurt my husband.I told him not to worry about that - anyone playing soccer in bare feet is asking for trouble.
My children were precocious and known to get into mischief.There was the time my youngest son took out the canister holding 5 lbs. of flour and dumped it all over himself and the floor – then stood there with the proudest smile showing me what he had done.Did I mention he was wearing a navy blue sweater at the time? (As soon as I find the picture I took I'll post it here.) Or the time my youngest daughter at age 3 got the button of her sweater caught on my mother’s doily and when she walked away pulled the doily and the beautiful big hurricane lamp onto the floor – into a million pieces?
Of course there are the things you think are humorous and no one else does, even after the fact, those incidents of “you had to be there.”Like the time I decided to clean out the food shelves in the basement and found cans that were eight years old.But my mother went one better.After my Mom passed away we were cleaning her store of food.One of the cans of string beans was so old, it was empty!
Or back to my precocious youngest son…he decided to climb a tree, he was about five years old and completely naked at the time.He got to the very top of the tree then called me in a panic because he couldn’t get down.My husband was at work but fortunately a male neighbor was home.I called and told him my son was stuck up in the tree.“No problem, “ he said, “I’ll be right over.”He did come right over then looked up in the tree.“Is that his bare bottom I see?” “It certainly is” I replied.He chuckled but then said my son was too high in the tree, if he tried to climb that high the branches wouldn’t hold his weight.We managed to talk my son down, in all his natural glory.
My neighbor’s boys were known to get into trouble every now and then, more now than then.One night the older of the two, he was 14 at the time and the younger was 13, came over and said you have to come and help my brother, he’s stuck in the floor.All six of us looked at each, “stuck in the floor?”Apparently their father had cut holes in the floor to put vents in for heat from the woodstove in the basement.Well the boys dared each other to go through the vent in the living room to the basement.The youngest was to go first.He was a husky young man and got stuck in the vent hole.He couldn’t go up and he couldn’t go down.When we go there the upper part of his body was sticking out through the living room floor!My husband went downstairs and tried to pull him through but his shoulders were too broad.My husband came back upstairs and tried to pull him through that way but it was just a little too tight.We tried putting Vaseline on him and pulling him up through the living room.After much tugging and pulling my husband got him up and out.His sides were scraped but he was glad to be free.
A Funny Vacation Trip
Then there was our family trip to Lake George.My mother stayed in a hotel room and my brother-in-law, sister-in-law and their two kids stayed in another hotel room.We wanted to save money and commune with nature so we stayed in a tent.Our four kids went to an amusement park with my brother and sister-in-law and we ‘relaxed’ in the tent.When we came out someone had taken all of our money from my pocketbook in the van.After trying to convince the police it wasn’t my children who stole the money, we went for a ride to calm down.When we returned to the campground our tent was leveled and everything in it soaking wet.Seems a flash storm had come through and hit only our tent!We spent the night in two rooms with my brother and sister-in-law; that’s a total of ten people in a small two bedroom motel room.We spent the next day in the Laundromat trying to dry out our things.It’s funny now but…
The trip to Great Adventure was much anticipated.At the time we had a pickup truck with a cap on the back.There were benches in the back and it was legal for children to ride back there.Well, we drove through the animal section not thinking that the lock on the back of the pick-up truck wasn’t working.When we got to the monkey section, as in all the sections, there were signs everywhere that said do not get out of your vehicle.Everyone was laughing at the monkeys’ antics as they jumped on the truck and the cap until my oldest son, about 12 at the time, yelled that the monkeys were trying to get in the cap!We had no way of getting into the back of the pick-up truck and we couldn’t get out of the truck.We told him to just try to hold the cap closed.For the entire monkey section my son and that monkey played tug of war.Fortunately my son won!
When my kids were in their 30s and 40s we found out some interesting things.Like how my oldest son, who we were so proud of because he always came home on time, was coming home on time then climbing out his window to go back outside.Or how my oldest daughter really got the dent in the new van…it wasn’t a shopping cart that hit the van, it was her hitting a gas pump.
Then there was my sister-in-law who failed her drivers’ test three times.The first time she hit the curb, the second time she hit a garbage can and the third time she hit a moving train.In all fairness the train was running in a parking lot to ferry kids around, who would expect a train in a parking lot?
Of course there are the computer conferences I attended at work, some of which I showed up for a week before the actual date.Or the time I was at a conference and couldn’t get out of the stall in the ladies room.I had locked it when I went in but couldn’t unlock it to get out.After I don’t know how many minutes of trying to unlock it I had to crawl under it to get out.
We have an above ground pool in our backyard.For a while the chemicals we used came in a dark blue bottle.One day as I started to pour the chemical into the pool I noticed it was very dark and greasy looking, I poured a little and looked again, poured a little and looked again.I stopped pouring and called my husband.“OH, I forgot to tell you I put old motor oil in that one bottle.”We managed to get the oil out with another flocking chemical we had to buy and it only took three days.
There was my 88 year old grandmother who couldn’t say Stacy for the life of her, instead she said Daisy.We tried and tried to get her to say Stacy.We’d tell her to say stop and she would, we’d tell her to say stay and she would, we’d tell her to say Stacy and she’d say Daisy.There was just no way around it.
There’s humor to be found everywhere, it just takes the time and the right mind set to find it.
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