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Jewish Wit & Wisdom

Updated on June 29, 2016
The Jewish outtake on life
The Jewish outtake on life

Has any people been as influential- in proportion to their size- as the Jews? Whilst history is peppered with Anti-semitic persecution, Jewish people have managed to make a profound contribution to politics, science, literature and culture. Historically, prominent Jews are ALWAYS doing SOMETHING and they've ALWAYS got something to say about it.

Here's a collection of some of my favourite Jewish Quotes:

On the life cycle:

I will never be an old man.To me,old age is always 15 years older than I am-Bernard Baruch.

What is painful for one generation is insight to the next-Eli N. Evans

For the ignorant, old age is winter;for the learned, it is the harvest-Hasidic saying

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter-if you don't mind,it doesn't matter-Jack Benny

In the hour of a person's departure,neither silver nor gold nor precious stones nor pearls accompany them,but only learning and good deeds.-Ethics of the Fathers

G-d & spirituality:

An atheist may be simply one whose faith and love are concentrated on the impersonal aspects of G-d.-Simone Weil

Doubt is part of all religion.All religious thinkers were doubters-Isaac Bashveis Singer

Science without religion is lame.Religion without science is blind-Albert Einstein

Righteous people are not perfect beings who never make mistakes,who never experience burnout.Rather,righteous people are those who despite everything,despite falling,despite burnout,stand up,start all over again and continue to express their loyalty to our heavenly father.-Esther Jungreis

Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable.-Leonard Bernstein

G-d will forgive me;it's his trade-Heinrich Heine

"If we don't laugh,we must weep"

Tears cleanse the heart but laughter makes it lighter-Jewish Proverbs.

You just can't get through life without a sense of humour these days.The most awful things can be really funny.You have to be able to laugh or it gets too depressing.-Margo Kaufman

An old Jew was refused service in a restaurant."We don't serve Jews here", the waiter said."That's OK" replied the old man."I don't eat Jews!"-European-Jewish Legend

"Humour is just another defense against the universe"-Mel Brooks

Men and Women

The ideal man has the strength of men and the compassion of women-The Zohar

No-one will ever win the battle of the sexes;there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.-Henry Kissinger

Women need a reason to have sex.Men,they just need a place-Billy Crystal

To facilitate a union between man and women is as difficult a task as parting the Red Sea-The Talmud

Some half-decent Jewish Wisdom from Jackie Mason

Ethics & Justice

Where they burn books,they burn people-Heinrich Heine

If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?And if I am only for myself,then what am I?And if not now, when?-Rabbi Hillel

The most violent element in society is ignorance-Emma Goldman

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them-Alfred Adler

Without law, civilization perishes-The Talmud

General Wisdom

Desperation is sometimes as powerful an inspirer as genius-Benjamin Disraeli

The wise man hears one word and understands two-Jewish Proverbs

Be happy.It is a way of being wise-Collete

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination.Imagination is more important than knowledge.Knowledge is limited.Imagination encircles the world.-Albert Einstein

Where all men think alike, no-one thinks very much-Walter Lippman

On dropping the tablets:

"Ahhh my toes! G-d that hurt!"-Moses

What do you think of these quotes?

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    • Aaron Seitler profile image

      Aaron Seitler 19 months ago from Manchester, United Kingdom

      Thanks :)

    • tw6852 profile image

      Taylor 4 years ago from Southern California

      Haha, ok this is actually pretty funny. Nice job, thanks.