ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Jewish Wit & Wisdom

Updated on June 29, 2016
The Jewish outtake on life
The Jewish outtake on life

Has any people been as influential- in proportion to their size- as the Jews? Whilst history is peppered with Anti-semitic persecution, Jewish people have managed to make a profound contribution to politics, science, literature and culture. Historically, prominent Jews are ALWAYS doing SOMETHING and they've ALWAYS got something to say about it.

Here's a collection of some of my favourite Jewish Quotes:

On the life cycle:

I will never be an old man.To me,old age is always 15 years older than I am-Bernard Baruch.

What is painful for one generation is insight to the next-Eli N. Evans

For the ignorant, old age is winter;for the learned, it is the harvest-Hasidic saying

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter-if you don't mind,it doesn't matter-Jack Benny

In the hour of a person's departure,neither silver nor gold nor precious stones nor pearls accompany them,but only learning and good deeds.-Ethics of the Fathers

G-d & spirituality:

An atheist may be simply one whose faith and love are concentrated on the impersonal aspects of G-d.-Simone Weil

Doubt is part of all religion.All religious thinkers were doubters-Isaac Bashveis Singer

Science without religion is lame.Religion without science is blind-Albert Einstein

Righteous people are not perfect beings who never make mistakes,who never experience burnout.Rather,righteous people are those who despite everything,despite falling,despite burnout,stand up,start all over again and continue to express their loyalty to our heavenly father.-Esther Jungreis

Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable.-Leonard Bernstein

G-d will forgive me;it's his trade-Heinrich Heine

"If we don't laugh,we must weep"

Tears cleanse the heart but laughter makes it lighter-Jewish Proverbs.

You just can't get through life without a sense of humour these days.The most awful things can be really funny.You have to be able to laugh or it gets too depressing.-Margo Kaufman

An old Jew was refused service in a restaurant."We don't serve Jews here", the waiter said."That's OK" replied the old man."I don't eat Jews!"-European-Jewish Legend

"Humour is just another defense against the universe"-Mel Brooks

Men and Women

The ideal man has the strength of men and the compassion of women-The Zohar

No-one will ever win the battle of the sexes;there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.-Henry Kissinger

Women need a reason to have sex.Men,they just need a place-Billy Crystal

To facilitate a union between man and women is as difficult a task as parting the Red Sea-The Talmud

Some half-decent Jewish Wisdom from Jackie Mason

Ethics & Justice

Where they burn books,they burn people-Heinrich Heine

If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?And if I am only for myself,then what am I?And if not now, when?-Rabbi Hillel

The most violent element in society is ignorance-Emma Goldman

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them-Alfred Adler

Without law, civilization perishes-The Talmud

General Wisdom

Desperation is sometimes as powerful an inspirer as genius-Benjamin Disraeli

The wise man hears one word and understands two-Jewish Proverbs

Be happy.It is a way of being wise-Collete

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination.Imagination is more important than knowledge.Knowledge is limited.Imagination encircles the world.-Albert Einstein

Where all men think alike, no-one thinks very much-Walter Lippman

On dropping the tablets:

"Ahhh my toes! G-d that hurt!"-Moses

What do you think of these quotes?

See results


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Aaron Seitler profile imageAUTHOR

      Aaron Seitler 

      2 years ago from Manchester, United Kingdom

      Thanks :)

    • tw6852 profile image


      5 years ago from Southern California

      Haha, ok this is actually pretty funny. Nice job, thanks.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)