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Job Interview with a Vampire...Part One

Updated on March 23, 2011

(The scene begins in darkness as there sit two figures, an odd looking male figure we shall refer to a Aesop on the left...and a dim shadowy looking female figure we shall refer to as Elle on the right...and so begins the conversation that follows.)

I am a gentle man
I am a mechanical man
An alchemical man
Not man at all really
I wish to find a mentor
Can you help me on my path???

What help may i give you if i can
What do you require

You are my first, I shall never forget your sacrifice...
I will give my one robotic eye for you
And die a thousand times over
So that you might live

You need my help. You will tell me whats wrong

I am a man but really am more machine than man.
I wish to be like your kindred. immortal and transcentant of both flesh and transistors.
I have only one red electrical eye and a battery powered heart , yet I wish to serve the greater powers and perhaps find a true path
Beep beep

You wish to become an immortal. But yet you are half a mashine
Why you wish to no longer be a mortal

The half of me that is machine will live for ever as long as i keep fresh batteries in my electronic heart and my psoitronic brain. But nearly half of me is mortal and is in a great deal of pain physically, and one day it will die and I will be a machine from my torso up - I want to have my whole body be able to last for ever. Is that not a fair and reasonable wish?

Plus they do not make solar powered batteries for robots yet...So I am up all night

It is fair but may i ask you what you know about immortals?

I have read nearly every book sacred text and religious codex mankind has written. When I was demoted from my position as an assassin with the Ford Motor Corporation. I went on the road hitchhiking. but noone ever picked me I ended up walking all the way to the ancient Technochitlan pyramid in Mexico. There I met An ancient Jaguar priestess, who claimed to be 200 years old, she taught me astronomy, tantric sex, and she was also a skilled RN - she was hunted down recently by a bigoted group of catholic witchhunters who wanted access to her family estate. It was horrible. But she was my I am lost...I also met a Navajo Skinwalker on my way back to the united states who sold me motoroil with peyote in it...

And I have detailed files about every vampiric history ever put to paper

I also have very sharp teeth

You are taught so many from your teacher. You arent lost
Just confused

So you do not think I should aspire to be a vampire?So far you are the only of you kind that seems to care about me, I that alone, I judge you to be very wise if still untested...

I once knew a woman who changed my mother board for me and did not just shut me off and leave me for dead. She was very wise also...Until she was put in prision for stock trading fraud. now she lives with her wife in san quentin

Noone has even spoken to me since

Once a man tried to shove a quarter in my eye for a Pepsi, so I pushed him away from me hard - but a bus came right then and ran him over...felt bad, so I washed him off the road

I like the smell of blood

I didnt say that my friend
I myself was sick when i turned to an immortal but you see im still new to this thing and its hard for me to tall you a lot cause im stil learning I would want to tell you something that is not true

The taste and the smell of the blood is rich

Do you like being immortal"?

I know what it is to like...
I like two things

I like cats. A mama cat once made her bed of kittens while I was recharging my drycels and for two months I had a liter of kittens in my body frame - cats are very clean and very warmI also like to kill humansThere is always some reason. Living humans are always being unspeakably evil...especially to mechanical lifeforms/ Just most mornings a toaster cannot retalate
But they would if they could

I like it but sometimes it has it bads
I love cats

I got a job as animal trainer, oddly animals liked me quite a lot. I could tame lions, ride horses, even trained a chimpanezee to juggle and do highwire tricks...Then one dark day I was invited to go surf by a very older and very attractive teen age girl, we went to the beach and we swam and she taught me to surf a little bit. We even had a long kiss in the ocean tide and she got me drunk on beer and peanuts....Unfortunately she lost her top and it floated far from shore, I was dumb horny and unaware of a 25 foot mako shark out just past the dingy. go to rescue her yellow bikini top. And wake up missing most of the top half of my body....apparently they found pieces of me for miles washing on shore...

Noone knows what happened to the shark

ohhhh my Goodness

(Here ends the first scene...Darkness enshrouds the two...and the moon turns to Full.)


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    • profile image

      dreamreachout 6 years ago

      My admiration for the way you cover the aspects and subjects of your writing is going up and up even when I have been reading you for more than an year now!!

      Cheers mate!!

    • blake4d profile image

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      Thanx so much, for you to say. I am intent on doing more with this. It has its own life so to speak, thanx again. Blake4d

    • BeccaHubbardWoods profile image

      Mizzery Chick 7 years ago from Outside your window...

      I'm sure more people have read this than just a couple. It is quite interesting. And pretty damn funny as well. I hope to see an ongoing series with this. : )

    • blake4d profile image

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      I really have more heart in this idea than its bare scripting might may take a little more effort. It kinda is a dialogue between the two most extreme chasms of my artistic and my nihilistic interests. Which came first an ancient immortality cult of blood drinking ritual trying to cheat death, meets unexpectedly up with a crippled yet high tech idiot savant who would die if only he could find a way around its programming - both devalue life by their perspectives, both doomed to the one thing they hold without the ability to control...

      Again logical absurdity - vampires and artifical life, both kinda less glamourous if the immortals aren't very smart. Imagine living a thousand years with the an 83 IQ or with a dry cell battery that you had to charge daily...

      I am not gonna rush it, good ideas need to be thought out. But at least a couple of people got their interest peaked. I think that must prove equal to a couple google words.

      I bet vampires and robots sell more ad clicks than sweedish hookers and vicodin...

    • mythbuster profile image

      mythbuster 7 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      *waiting* A DISARMING start here, blake4d...I'm following you (is that code for 'stalking you on hubpages?') so, I, for one am ready anytime you add to this narrative...

    • blake4d profile image

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      The installments will be forthcoming, this first part was to see if there was any real interest, both the mechanical and vampiric sides of my world demanded an audience or they would have no part of it at all...

      And something about extra batteries and ab neg blood on hand at all times...but yes, in the coming month will be furher installments. Thanx for asking.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Blake - what an imagination! "Motor oil with peyote?" No wonder "he" is confused.

      So-oo-oo - is there a part 2?