A man sends an SMS to his friend,--- I think my wife's becoming deaf.The friend replies back suggesting .just call her and talk to her ,if she replies back to you its fine , ,otherwise you must take her to an ENT doctor .'the man calls his wife and asks would you go to a movie today .there is no answer .he repeats many times but no answer again .finally he gets frustrated and sends an Sms to his wife saying that he is calling her and wanted to know would she like to go to a movie today ,the wife replies back saying she was shouting at top of her voice saying yes she would ,so why he sent an Sms asking again.to the man's utter disgust he realizes that its not his wife who is becoming deaf ,it is he himself who has become deaf ,so he need to go to a doctor instead .
On the teacher's day, children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son gave the teacher a gift. She held it up and said, "I I know what it is - it's some flowers!".yes mam ,shouted the little boy. next came a baker's son and presented her a gift ,in the same way she said ,it a cake ,the boy nodded his head in agreement.Then the candy store owner's daughter presented the teacher a gift She held it up, and said. "I bet It's a box of candy!" ,and the girl agreed, this went on until a liquor shop owners son 's chance came and he gave his present ,the teacher with twinkling eyes shook it and few droplets fell down ,she licked them and said,I am sure this is a bottle of wine ,the boy with a very sincere look said no mam , its the puppy and those droplets fell because it peed when you shook him.
A sarcastic lecturer. :-"If there are any idiots in the class,who do not understand the lesson please stand up .After a prolonged silence, one boy rose.Seeing that, the lecturer asked "Now then , why do you think yourself to be an idiot?"the boy gave a smile and said ,well I don't think any one is idiot here .the lecture got puzzled and said then why did you stand .the boy answered,"I hate to see you standing all by yourself in the class so thought of giving you a company."
One day I over heard a conversation between a doctor and a tape worm:-The doctor asked the worm why were you in a rich man's stomach .the worm replied,because poor man can't feed him self ,what will he feed me with.
An employer takes an interview, and did not ask a single question to the interviewer,at last he said, "you wrote in the form that you are smart, but how will I know, how smart you are"?" Answer this and prove your wits," so he asked,":can you say how many pieces will this glass be into, if I break it "?the man instantly, picked the glass and threw it on the ground ,and said," count them "!!,the employer was so impressed that he offered him the best job in his company
A Child goes for an interview at a school to get admitted The principle said, ok, child ,let me ask you some opposites,so she says, good? the child says ,bad,up?down, pick? drop and the list went on ,the child got irritated and said mam , what is the opposite of help, the principle instantly answered ,hinder!the child said, mam that's what you will do to me if you discard my admission ,the principal was so impressed that she immediately gave admission to the child.