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Jokes to Tell Your Gradeschooler

Updated on August 5, 2012

For most of my life, my dad and I have always traded what we call "groaners" back and forth. The more the joke makes us groan because of how bad it is or how stupid it is, the harder we laugh. Following are some of our favorites jokes. I hope you and your kids enjoy them as much as my dad and I enjoy them.

These are not our original jokes. I do not know who came up with them in order to offer credit. My nieces came up with a few of these.

It is fun to see who can tell the worst joke when the family gets together. Soon, everyone is crying from laughter or holding their sides from laughing so much. Laughter has a way of bringing people closer.

But, officer, I have contacts.
But, officer, I have contacts.
I thought I was going deaf.
I thought I was going deaf.
Dad, I'm Freeeeeeezing.
Dad, I'm Freeeeeeezing.
Oops.  Sorry.
Oops. Sorry.

A police officer pulls a woman over for speeding. He asks for her driver’s license. After looking at the license, the officer says

“Ma’am, it says you are supposed to be wearing glasses. I don’t see you wearing glasses. I’m going to have to write you a ticket.”

The woman says “But officer, I have contacts.”

The officer replies “Ma’am, I don’t care who you know.”

A man gets pulled over and he asks the police office if he was speeding.

“No, sir. Your wife fell out of the car when you went around that curve back there.”

The man replies, “ Oh thank God. I thought I was going deaf.”

The baby polar bear asks his dad if everyone in his family is a polar bear. The answer is yes.

The baby polar bear asks his mom if everyone in her family is a polar bear. The answer is yes.

The mom and dad polar bear ask the baby polar bear why he wants to know.


What’s the problem with snow boots?

They melt.

What did the angry customer give the Italian chef?

A pizza his mind.

What type of animal is always at a baseball game?

A bat.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

What would you get when you cross a crocodile and a rose?

I don’t know but I wouldn’t want to sniff it.

Did you hear about the lightning bug that backed into a fan?

He was de-lighted.

What did the cell phone give his girlfriend.

A ring.

Why do anteaters never get sick?

They are full of ant-i-bodies.

Why was the cookie crying?

It felt crummy.

What do you call a boomerang that does not return?

A stick.

What is invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cement mixer?

A brick layer.

What do elves learn in school?

The elfabet.


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    • gail641 profile image

      Gail Louise Stevenson 

      5 years ago from Mason City

      Your welcome.

    • lcbenefield profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks, Gail. Glad you enjoyed these. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • gail641 profile image

      Gail Louise Stevenson 

      5 years ago from Mason City

      Really great jokes--and they are pretty funny! I really enjoyed reading your hub and the jokes. The photos are really wonderful, too.


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