ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing

A Day With KeKe's Krazy Stripper Crew

Updated on June 25, 2013

Embrace Your Motley Crew

I spent the day with my best friend Nora and her sister, Marci. Nora and I have been friends since we were knee high to a duck’s butt. Unlike me, the two sisters have always known what they wanted to be in life. Ever since we were young girls, Nora dreamed of being a wife and mother. I think she came out of the womb crying the “Wedding March” and throwing rice.

On the other hand, Marci, her beer guzzling sister, dreamed of being a dancer. Her grandmother proudly tells the story of how Marci would gyrate to “Mary Had a Little Lamb” or the Itsy Bitsy Spider” while pulling off her clothes. So when she became a stripper at Bobby’s Gentlemen’s Club she threw a big party to celebrate. In her speech to her party guest she said she always knew this was her destiny. Her boyfriend chimed in that she probably tried to use her umbilical cord to do her first pole dance.

Today we went shopping at a lingerie store Big Trixie from the strip club told Marci about. The store was having a fifty percent off sale and Nora wanted to buy some items for her honeymoon. That is, the honeymoon she’ll take once she finds a man and gets married. Crazy –yes, but poor thing subscribes to the “build it and they will come” philosophy. She’s purchased her wedding dress, veil, shoes and has collected her something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. She even has the bridesmaid dresses, all size fourteen, so they can be altered to fit once she has set the date. She thinks once she has everything in place Mr. Right will suddenly appear.

We met Big Trixie and some of the other strippers at “Bargain Lingerie and More.” I was surprised to see that she was a dwarf with a peg leg. She was accompanied by Bumper, Nexus and Honey. A dragon faced woman with an unlit cigarette hanging from her lips and a raspy smoker’s voice welcomed us to the store with coupons.

As Trixie and her stripper crew came out of the dressing rooms in different pieces of lingerie/stage outfits, one thing became clear to me. Men at Bobby’s Gentlemen’s club must pay a premium for c-section scars, bullet and knife wounds. Their bodies looked like they’d been in a war zone. Marci’s naked beer gut was nothing in comparison.

I listened to Trixie complain about having to make alterations to accommodate her peg. I was glad to see Nora emerge from the dressing room. She was wearing a white flowing negligee. She looked like an angel. I didn’t know this trashy place had such a classy piece. Well, it was classy until she turned around and she was @ss out in white leather chaps. The dragon and the stripper pole contingent thought this little number was as classic as the little black dress. I pounced on Nora like she was on fire, shoving her back into the dressing room before the FedEx guy came into the store.

While Nora changed, Marci filled me in on Trixie and Bumper’s on again off again friendship. Apparently the two always argue, but they had stopped speaking two months prior when Trixie said Bumper looked like a Clydesdale Horse from behind. Bumper apparently replied that Trixie’s peg leg looked like it had termites. That’s when the body glitter hit the fan and the two women declared themselves mortal enemies, that is, until Bumper’s dog, Gypsy Rose Lee, got sick and needed an expensive operation. Unbeknownst to Bumper, Trixie got the girls at the club to donate a portion of their nightly earnings to the “Save Gypsy Rose Lee Fund.” Apparently there was enough money collected for the operation and for Bumper to replace her cracked clear heeled stilettos. And who said “stripper with a heart of gold” was just a cliché?

I overheard Honey telling the FedEx guy about “Mud Wrestling Wednesdays” at the club. I could almost see his dollar bills marching out of his pocket and parachuting into her g-string. She was by far the most attractive of this bunch, cross eyes notwithstanding.

When we left the store, Nora and I trailed behind the others. Trixie’s peg leg got stuck in a crack in the sidewalk and all the ladies came to her aid – tugging until she was free. I looked at the motley crew and was reminded how blessed we are to have good friends in our lives who are there for us in good times and during our struggles.






Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • rfox21 profile image
      Author

      rfox21 6 years ago from Bethesda, Maryland

      Moonfairy thanks so much for reading and your support. I really appreciate it. Stay stuned for KeKe's Krazy Journal Part 4! I'll make sure I follow you.

    • moonfairy profile image

      moonfairy 6 years ago

      this is hilarious. I literally laughed out loud, especially at the part where Trixie's peg leg got stuck in a crack. The visual I have is so worth it!! I'm in love the with Motley crew! Can't wait to read part 3 =)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)